[ BOOBS.
Oh wait, give him a second to adjust the camera until you get a good look of this hot chick lounging on a couch that's obviously Adam's; can of beer in one hand and trailing smoke from a lit cigarette in an ashtray on the table.
He's wearing skivvies. Yeah. If you care enough to look, the video is tagged Adam Jensen, and he tried to filter this from the original owner of this body but fuck, encrypting stuff sure is a hell of a lot harder if you don't have your hacking augmentation anymore and are really fucking drunk to boot.
As should become obvious in a second. ]What's up. Are we all enjoying the newest clusterfuck sponsored by the Initiative?
[ Yeah he's slurring. So much for wanting to stop drinking but wow he hasn't properly gotten drunk in what feels like years. ]Anyway. Today's a special day aaand this is why I need some professional help.
[ No, not that kind of help. ] Lady help. Y'see I'm pretty tight with the original owner of this bombshell but I think she could kinda use a makeover. I mean fuck, look, her assets are pretty perfect already --
[ To emphasize his point, he poses a little awkwardly! Have another intended closeup of boobs as he leans forward, lifting them a bit with his hands, then he turns around briefly and you get a closeup of DAT ASS. ] Lots of tits and ass and wow her legs go on forever. So uuh, my point was...
[ Flops down on couch again. Bounce. ]I wanna do something about her wardrobe, and her hair, and her face. I mean, not too much, that'll look fake, but you know she usually runs around in this --
[ SWEEPING DRUNK GESTURE ] bulk of armor and everyone thinks she's a robot and I'm like
why are you hiding that booty? So yeah, she's gotta see how nice she can look. At this point I probably spend more time grooming myself than she does and that's saying something.
[ Pause. Blink. So what was he--oh right. ]So
basically, 'm looking for a girl who got some time on her hands and a sense for aesthetics. Or two. Or three. I don't care.
[ He reaches for both the can of beer and the cigarette and wow, Samus sure is gonna be surprised! ]