Whoever cares, Jake and Kriem are gone.

[May be a little tiny bit bitter about that. She was actually becoming somewhat attached--they actually cared, even though she pushed them away. Annoying, yes, but they seemed to understand her motives better than anyone else here, and they were her allies. She had needed those, had the time come for action. Not to mention her house had been ruined, so she was stuck with her new roommates, whom she'd been avoiding. She wasn't up for dealing with people at the moment, and especially since it just reminded her that her old allies were long gone. She would miss them. Even if they were idiotic in her mind.]

I'm Kagura, if you're new. Don't bother me. I don't want 'friends'. 

As if those even exist, anyways.

[The video feed opens on an alien teenager who some of you may never have seen before, dressed all in red and grinning widely. Most notably, though, she is wearing two eye patches, one over each eye. She gets right down to business.]

Is this working? Yes? It beeped, so I think so. Okay.

People of the internet, I have a quick question. [She points to the eyepatches.] On a scale of one to ten, how silly do these look?

[HELLO EXSILIUM IT IS A WONDERFUL DAY. Absolute shame you can’t see it because the only thing visible on the screen is a close up of a tortoise’s butt slowly wiggling across the screen as Clyde plods along. You’re welcome. However, sound still works and you can clearly hear a British man (Sherlock) speaking.]

--don’t quite feel like drawing it out today.

[So, dear Exsilium, even though you can’t see it (and be thankful you can’t), a rather scantily clad lady of the night is straddling Sherlock with a riding crop clenched between her teeth since she’s using her hands to unhook the bra she’s wearing before tossing it aside just as the sound of someone else entering the room occurs.]

Sherlock are you -

[Unfortunately, it’s tossed aside just as the door opens and Joan enters the room. Also unfortunately for Joan, the bra smacks her right in the face.

Clearly this lady of the night has very good aim.

Cue the silence, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, and have some wiggling Clyde butt as well.]

...Really? Really?

Hello, Watson. Care to join us?

[There’s a considerably frosty silence that occurs until there’s sounds of someone picking up their clothes.]

I’ll come back next time, unless you feel like paying extra.

[The sound of heels clicking against the hardwood clatter past, but not before pausing, and there’s a partial image of a manicured hand plucking a very lacey bra that’s hanging from Joan’s crooked finger visible between the gaps the tortoise butt is leaving as he makes his way across the communicator. HOOKER OUT.]

I mean, really I shouldn’t be surprised anymore but that was not what I expected when you gave me a duplicate of your house key -

[There’s the sound of a chair being shifted as he shuffles back to where he’s got his lockpick so he can free himself.]

I’m sure you’ve noticed the people’s less than enthusiastic response to us here following that incident last month. I believe sex workers are the key to rebuilding positive relations.

I’m going to stop you right there because I am not having this conversation with you. In fact, I’m just going to leave.

[Whether or not this conversation is going to continue doesn’t matter as by this point, Clyde has made his journey over the screen and kicks the communicator to the ground. You can now see Joan standing in front of Sherlock while he sits handcuffed to a chair, shirtless. Both of them turn to look at the source of the noise and Joan shuffles over to check it out.]

Sherlock -- !

[There’s a look of horror on her face as she realises what just happened and then the feed cuts out.]

[ooc: red is Sherlock, blue is Joan and black is the hooker. Sherlock and Joan will both be replying to the posts, unless you’d just like a specific one! Just wait for Sherlock to pick his handcuffs.]

[Gracing your screen today is one (1) Nathan Young, in a hospital bed. He looks as though he is in the throes of illness--namely because he is--and is even hooked up to a medical ventilator and a few other standard hospital machines like heart monitors or something??? I dunno, I'm not a doctor.

Towards the bottom of the image you can see a sign duct taped to his chest. The first line of it reads "DO NOT REMOVE" in thick black letters and it's clear that there's a second line of text beneath it, but most of it is out of view.]

Alright, tell me somebody's found the cure to this shit by now. I've died four times of this virus already, I'd like to stop now! [On cue, he starts coughing again, and has to lean off-screen while he coughs.] Ugh, it'll be five soon... [When he is back in view, his lips are tinged red.]

Seriously! All of you have really dropped the ball on this one! Just get on with it already and find the cure before my life has to be sacrificed senselessly again, okay?! [By this point he sounds like he's actually pleading. His face contorts into a slight grimace as he finishes up and turns off the video.]

[A glowing erne swoops into the city and, with a flash of light, materializes into a man. Loki walks through the streets, allowing his aura of power to waft over the people around him. That aura says "You stand in the presence of a god". He summons his communicator with a gesture and the device floats before him as it turns on a video feed. Yes, folks, Loki is hamming it up today.]

A friend perishes, a world dies, and now this land is beset by plague. These last few weeks have not been kind.

[He frowns.]

As my brother is no longer among us I feel the burden falls upon me to appear in this time of turmoil. I offer you a cure. With but one touch of my hand I can cleanse the disease from thy body.

[As he says this, he lifts a hand glowing with a pale green light]

A miracle cure, one might say. And who better to bring a miracle than a god?

Should you have need of my power then see me. I will linger as long as I am needed.

[ooc: More on this here]

[The camera is focused on a cookie, held in Nathan's hand. People may recognize it as one of the cookies offered to newcomers as they leave the Initiative Hold. This one, however, looks a tad off--the icing looks a bit lumpy, and there appear to be several curly hairs attached to it.]

Alright. Who do you think would win in a fight with this biscuit as the prize?

[Nathan drops his hand and the cookie out of sight, leaving a clear view of a merchant outdoors in the courtyard, covered in a large raincoat selling soggy odds and ends. He looks old, weary, and is hunched in on himself, shivering a little bit.]

This guy...

[He shifts the camera view to a nearby alleyway, where a small, scrawny child sits with his knees drawn up to his chin, soaking wet. The child is wide-eyed and dressed in tattered clothes, looking gaunt and exhausted.]

...or this one?

[The camera is turned around so that now Nathan's face fills the screen.]

Ah? Anyone got any ideas? I'm willing to accept bets, if there are any takers!