[
It's been a long time since he's had to think about this. Peter hasn't been an astronaut in years, and at some point he just became so used to space that he didn't even think about how to adapt to all the changes anymore.
So here he is: one very tired looking man, with a chipped mug full of coffee, and a well-worn uniform, because he's got to do something and space is his thing and somebody's got to do something to help, and the person to do something has always been him.]
So, to start this whole thing off, I guess I'd better introduce myself. My name is Peter Quill. I'm the Star-Lord, and the leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy. I don't expect you to have heard of us around here, what with all the many wonderful alternate universe options available. But we're very much around, and we're going do whatever we can to get some of this mess fixed up.
[
Swear to god Gamora and Adam you had better not dare contradict him on that.]
Before I was the Star-Lord, though, I used to be an astronaut. Our space base was a little bit fancier than this, when I was around, but it was pretty much the same set-up, so I figured I would offer up some advice on how to deal with living in a place like this.
First, you might have noticed the moon doesn't abide by Earth hours anymore. Really try to make yourself keep to them anyway, because otherwise you're going to be in for a really rough ride and we'll probably run out of coffee way before the week's out. Repair guys, if we could maybe get something running to simulate a natural cycle, that would help a lot.
[
Not that he even notices it anymore. One reason for all that coffee: he's been so many places that his system is probably fucked for good.]
You might have noticed that this place is technically
really small. You may start to feel a little bit cramped, or start sleeping a lot, or start getting really paranoid that your roommate might be stealing your stuff or trying to kill you in your sleep. That's called cabin fever, and if you think you have it, try to get the hell out of here and take some kind of mission that gets you back on Earth, because you're doing nobody any favors trying to tough it out or pretend it's not happening. Especially since we're all going to be here for the foreseeable future.
[
He can't really pretend he's happy about that, either, but at least he's used to having no privacy and living in close quarters with other people by now. Even people he kind of hated! It's amazing what you can get used to.]
Oh, and all that freeze-dried food is going to get really old, really fast. I'm not kidding. That crap is awful. Trust me, you will get sick of it so fast you won't even believe it was possible. So whoever ends up being responsible for restocking supplies, I beg you to try to get anything that lasts that's
not that.
[
Pause, for a dramatic sip of coffee.]
If you've got anything else you're worried about, feel free to come ask me about it. I'll be around.
Adam, Gamora- we're going to try to set up base in the first convenient reclaimed space there is, so until then we're gonna have to operate out of someone's bedroom. And so help me Gamora, if you left behind that coffee pot, it's on you to replace it. I don't care if it might not even work, it's the principle of the thing.