[The video opens on a young man adjusting his hat with a dark indoor wall as backdrop, but it seems it was turned on a bit early, as after he notices the video's on he makes a surprised noise and whacks at it until the feed turns off.

Ten seconds later, the video comes back on, and he clears his throat, tipping the hat kind of counterproductively.]

Hello. Name's Shotaro Hidari, hardboiled private detective, of the Narumi Detective Agency. I've been spending the past month and half getting the lay of this place, but I think my partner and I are about ready to open up shop again, so here I am.

Back home we’re something like specialists. There’s a lotta monsters back in Fuuto. Obviously around here that ain’t quite how it goes, but if you’ve got need of something that needs.. [He pauses dramatically.] A special touch, let us know. Hell, I’ll even off--ahhh!

[He looks up in the middle of whatever he was going on about... only to yell, and run right off the feed. The feed bobs and turns to show him being chased around the room by one of the fluffy wet sled dogs any of the Earthside Transports might be familiar with. There’s some yelling and then he goes right over a bench.

Trained professionals, everybody.]

[A hand reaches out to the camera, and it whirls around to show Philip, who is looking incredibly amused.]

Ah, it looks as if Mrs. Darrow has received our weekly provisions. As Shotaro has said, we are private detectives. Feel free to contact either of us on the network if you wish to become a client.

[The dog runs by and Philip gives it a cursory pat on the head and points it to where Shotaro is hiding.]

If you don’t mind that your detective is not quite as hard-boiled as he claims to be.


ooc: replies will come from both shotaro and philip!

 In my time here without my partner, I found myself with an incredible amount of free time and mental processing power to fill it. So, after learning the basics of knitting from Rose Lalonde, I then went on to knit a number of useful items for myself and experimental items for the sake of making them.

This means that I have a number of scarves, mittens, sweaters, socks, and other items that are going spare. They may be useful to anyone who wishes to return to the frozen Earth, as I do. So, I'm willing to trade the clothing I have made as well as my time for making custom clothing for a favor from any interested party. I still have quite a lot of yarn after taking down my spiderweb.

I value data over all else, so if you wish to take some of these items off my hands, you can do so by trading me some data. Books, computer data, stories about your life before coming to this world or your adventures after doing so. You can send me your stories privately on the network or tell them to me in person. I am willing to accept other items in trade as well, but I prefer data. 

Thank you for your attention. 

It looks colder in Exsilium than last year. Can anyone make me a hat and something to cover my horns? I know the money doesn't work there anymore, but I have other stuff, too.

[He turned the video down to a small collection. There were a number of different items ranging from books, feathers, bolts and screws, pretty but fake jewels, and more. There may be the occasional item of value but a lot of that value highly varied depending on personal taste.]

If that's not good enough, I can help with something. I'm good at cleaning and I can move heavy things.

[There are several plus sides to being roommates with someone you're running about Los Angeles with each and every day.

One plus side is which when one leaves their communications device out in the open whilst you're doing something else - that gives your roommate the authority to use it responsibly, and by responsibly, i mean not at all.

This may earn Travis the consistent threat of being shot until he's dead, but that's small potatoes. TIME TO GO TO WORK.]

So, is there any place a man can go to unwind and pretend they're not hung up over their ex-wife and that their only committed relationship is with a bottle of Germ-X?


[A few minutes later, a second post goes up, this time with the voice function. There's a faint cry of:] Travis!

[And then he clears his throat, addressing the network.] This is Wes Mitchell. And I'm not hung up over my ex-wife. Or that other thing.

I apologize. My partner took my tablet. He's like a five year-old.

Man, do you even listen to yourself? You're so hellbent on making things are 110% germ-free that I'm pretty sure Alex left you because you cheated on her with the sanitizer!

( cut for length )

Okay first off, before y'all start yelling at me, I been assured that we got plenty of supplies for this and I ain't cutting into our rations. Everybody's been doing a good job going on missions and bringing us stuff, so thanks for that. You guys are awesome.

So most of you know what I'm gonna say next: it's almost time to bake cookies. New guys, the deal is that we usually do this every month. It's a little something to help new arrivals feel better about being stuck here. We get together, we bake cookies, and then we pass 'em out on the first of the month and talk for a while with anybody who's got questions or needs a shoulder to cry on or whatever. It's just a nice thing we try to do.

Last month sucked but we're picking it back up again now, so anybody who wants to help out, we'll be having ourselves a little Halloween party in the cafeteria and baking all night. It's fun. You don't gotta be no master chef or nothing, I'll help you out.

And speaking of that, too - I heard some people ain't been eating right 'cause they don't know how to cook. That's messed up, yo. Don't stay quiet about something like that, okay. Ask for help. Nobody wants you starving and getting sick up here. If you can't cook for yourself, just come and find me. I'll make you something. You won't be bothering me 'cause I'm bored outta my mind anyway. I'm in 144 right now, so you can stop by or leave a message. Jesse Pinkman. It says right there on your screen.

Aight, I'm done.