One; text/voice

[wipeyourfeet]

[There are several plus sides to being roommates with someone you're running about Los Angeles with each and every day.

One plus side is which when one leaves their communications device out in the open whilst you're doing something else - that gives your roommate the authority to use it responsibly, and by responsibly, i mean not at all.

This may earn Travis the consistent threat of being shot until he's dead, but that's small potatoes. TIME TO GO TO WORK.]

So, is there any place a man can go to unwind and pretend they're not hung up over their ex-wife and that their only committed relationship is with a bottle of Germ-X?


[A few minutes later, a second post goes up, this time with the voice function. There's a faint cry of:] Travis!

[And then he clears his throat, addressing the network.] This is Wes Mitchell. And I'm not hung up over my ex-wife. Or that other thing.

I apologize. My partner took my tablet. He's like a five year-old.

Man, do you even listen to yourself? You're so hellbent on making things are 110% germ-free that I'm pretty sure Alex left you because you cheated on her with the sanitizer!

If you're implying what I think you're implying, that's disgusting and so are you.

Now, see. You're jumping to conclusions. I was simply stating you're so OCD about making sure everything is germ free I might as well buy you a hazmat suit for your birthday.

Plus I'm pretty sure if you did what you think I was implying, either you'd be in considerable pain or you're freakier than I thought.

Can we stop talking about... that?

Hey, you're the one who started it.

I did not, you did. Why are you here? Don't you have something better to do like... making all the women on the base hate you?

I'm waiting for you to fail with them so I can give them the time of their life. [smiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirk]

...

You're rude.

[Whoops, someone left their tablet going. And yes, they really are this immature. Feel free to address Wes, Travis, or both. The text post was Travis pretending to be Wes, Green is Wes and Blue is Travis. Threadjacking will probably happen.]

Comments

video; 1/3; i'm so sorry

[kirifuda]

[Say hello to a young-looking guy in a button-down and a tie. Backdrop suggests he's in the cafeteria. He's holding a coffee, which he sips because clearly that makes him look cool and collected.]

Partners usually work together, don't they, not, uh... whatever this-- [gestures at screen--] is. Right?

[kyoumibukai]

[Leaning over his tablet with an incredibly amused look is his own partner.]

Come now, Shotaro, before we sorted out our unresolved sexual tension, we often did things much like this, didn't we?

3/3 done

[kirifuda]

Wha-- [He looks at his partner, then again at the camera, then back at his partner, grumbling not-at-all quietly at him.] Dammit, what'd I tell you about saying that to everybody?!

[A w k w a r d. True, but awkward. He rubs his finger under his nose, looking away, then at the camera.] Does making hand sanitizer jokes actually get you any dates?

[He wants to know for Science, okay. (Science, and self-insert noir fanfic.]

oh my god I love you both okay ☇ Voice

[mynameonyourpanties]

[Cue Travis' face, it is one of 'what the fuck'.

This is like therapy 2.0, first five minutes and someone's assuming they're lovers. All he was doing was mocking his partner's lack of a social life post-divorce. He wasn't implying they're married at all.

Yeah, there was the time they shacked up and pretended, but that's way different.]

I don't even need to open my mouth to land dates, but I'm sure Sir Stick-up-ass here will be more than happy to tell you about his endeavors in dating.

[inafadingcrown]

[The most unimpressed expression ever.]

You realize, do you not, that your entire quarrel is broadcast for all to see?

[mynameonyourpanties]

[Your voice sounds hot.

No matter, this is not his fault n o p e]

Man, you got a beautiful sounding lady mad at us, way to go dumbass.

[wipeyourfeet]

[There's a distinct 'whack' sound of Wes hitting Travis in the arm.] It was not my fault. You started it!

He... started it. And no we didn't know. I'm sorry if we disturbed you, ma'am.

[inafadingcrown]

It matters little to me. I only thought it would be a kindness to inform you. [Informing you out of the kindness of her heart. And mild disbelief at the way you are acting, but hey.]

voice;

[resolve]

[Not that she's actually paid attention to most of the content of this conversation, but she's come to the conclusion that you guys are dumb. And annoying.]

Didn't they tell you how to turn it off?

voice;

[wipeyourfeet]

They did. He was distracting me. Sorry if we disturbed you, miss.

voice;

[resolve]

[There's only one person in pretty much the entire universe who refers to her as "miss." And that is hardly a person she wants to be reminded of.

A pause, and then, curtly:]

Katniss. [If you ever call her "miss" again she will put an arrow through your skull s2g


:')]

voice;

[wipeyourfeet]

[....oookay.] Pardon me. Katniss. I'm Wes Mitchell.

Text;

[wilder]

[He gives a sigh, then types out a very 'helpful' memo]

While we recognize the base does not have many opportunities for sexual recreation with other people, we at the Transport Clinic do not recommend using sanitizer to satiate any sexual desires. Application of products such as Germ-X to the genital area many lead to dry skin, skin irritation and feeling like you have set your genitals on fire.

It should also be noted that sanitizers such as Germ-X are not a good treatment alternative for any Sexually Transmitted Infections either. If you believe you have contracted one, please refrain from using sanitizers and consult the clinic for more reputable treatments.

Thank you and the Transport Clinic Staff wishes you a wonderful day. :)

Text;

[wipeyourfeet]

[ASDFJKSFDJKSD]

I DIDN'T DO THAT. STOP MAKING THIS POST WORSE.

Text;

[wilder]

We at the Transport Clinic believe your claim, Mr. Mitchell! As if you had, you would not need us to inform you that application of Germ-X to your genitals elicits a sensation similar to setting your genitals on fire.

However, the staff of the transport clinic deeply cares about the happiness and well-being of our transport population! Therefore, we felt it best to answer this speculation in a professional and cautionary manner in case you or anyone else reading this entry become curious enough to attempt applying sanitizer to their genitals.

Because seriously, don't do it.

Thank you and the Transport Clinic Staff wishes you a wonderful day. :)

Text; 1/2

[wipeyourfeet]

MY GENITALS ARE JUST FINE.

[Wes, think before you type.]

Text; 2/2

[wipeyourfeet]

I meant my genitals are just fine because I've never used sanitizer like that. And I never will. WILL YOU STOP WITH THE SMILEY FACES

voice

[inhumanity]

Why, the virtual reality rooms are the ideal place to go. You can't find forests anywhere else.

[so helpful right here]

voice

[wipeyourfeet]

Thanks. I'll try to remember that when I want to get away from my partner.

voice

[inhumanity]

Ah, you must be the one who can't ever seem to admit to the strength of love between you and always tries to interrupt the fun ideas of your far more gregarious and charismatic partner. [You can almost hear a sympathetic nod.] Chi always pretended he wanted to have space, too. The best thing to do is bring your partner with you everywhere and let necessity fertilize the winding together of your friendship. Eventually, you'll be able to admit how much you really want him around.

[Spoiler alert: Chi wasn't faking that desire for space from Christopher.]

voice

[wipeyourfeet]

... [What does he say to that? Does he admit what he's been fighting, that he actually enjoys time with Travis sometimes, that he doesn't feel so lonely when he's around, that he's his best friend? He does everything he can to annoy Wes and yet, Travis is the only person who has stuck around nowadays.

He wants to pull away, but he won't take it out on a stranger. He also doesn't want to put himself out there and not have Travis do the same.

So good job, Christopher, Wes is having a crisis about this dsfhkds

He takes a deep breath, his voice quiet.] I really do want space sometimes. I can't bring him everywhere. And I'm sure Chi needs space, too.

video;

[5055034455]

[SLOW.

CLAP.]

Good show, gentlemen.

video;

[wipeyourfeet]

[Face in hands.] This certainly wasn't how I wanted to be introduced to everyone here.

[5055034455]

Too bad first impressions are the most lasting, eh?

[wipeyourfeet]

Mm, indeed. I'm Wes Mitchell.

[But he already said that. He just likes proper introductions.]