I'm assuming everyone has figured out what is going on by now, but then I realize now that when I agreed to aid the Initiative in their battle, I was making an assumption that they had enough competence to could keep the single greatest weapon they have working. This was clearly a rather unfortunate error on my part. This is Ricasthix the dragon, the red one, speaking from the body of a young lady who I am told goes by the name of Rue.

Initiative, I am not going to make any more assumptions about your competence, so I hope you are listening to this. I am a forty foot long, nine hundred pound dragon in the body of a four foot tall, ninety pound human. My skills are not geared towards this situation, but you none the less expect me to plot and execute an elaborate art heist in this state? With this and the previous incident that shuffled around everyone's ages, you are going to run out of the grudging trust and respect you have so far received from most of the rest of us. Do not use the time machine again unless you are sure it works properly, or you can expect to see resistance cells starting to pop up again. The leaders of United Earth will laugh while we tear ourselves apart fighting in the streets.

Did I leave any part of that unclear in any way?

Well, Exsilium, like you I have found myself in the body of someone else. I am normally a nineteen year German woman, not a teenage boy of unknown origin. [ And whose body and fashion sense she didn't mess with much, as she chose to dress in the similar schoolboy-uniform fashion. She does tie his neck ribbon properly however. Because whoever originally owns this body is sloppy. ] Our bodies came with our clothes and everything we had with us during the body swap. If you were carrying something valuable, dangerous or both on your body then, and are worried that it might be lost, stolen or used for dubious purposes, please feel free to share your concerns with the police.

Now, to whosoever has my body, you will return to me one leather whip and a blue brooch. In exchange, I shall provide you with my detailed daily regimen in order to keep my body at optimum health. You don't have to do the same. I have everything under control.

Hey, chick who's in my body? You listenin'? I swear to Christ that if you do anything to my body, I'll do it back to yours twice over. Same goes for my stuff. If my guitar is as so much breathed on the wrong way, you'll regret it for a long time to come. I am not kidding. [Naturally he had brought it with along with him to the mission. Not a good choice.] As a matter of fact, just give it back to me and maybe there won't be any problems, got it?

And how do you even deal with these things? ["He" looks down at his host body's incredibly generous chest area.] I get tired just standin' around with these things. They gotta be the biggest cans I seen outside of a porno flick. Jesus. [JOHNNY D'AMICO: PARAGON OF ETIQUETTE]

The A.I. program thing said this was going to take a coupla' more days to fix this shit. It also confirmed for me that the Initiative wouldn't know its ass from a hole in the ground. Not that it's surprising, but it's good to know even mathematically figure out how much they suck at this. I don't even wanna know what's gonna happen to us next time.

[Action]

[CRUNCH.]

Oops.

[STOMP.]

Uh, sorry.

[BumpCRASH.]

That... wasn't expensive was it?

[Sonic hadn't been handling walking in Thereth's hooves too well. Used to being nimble and quick, he's now quite a bit bigger and something of a cow in a china shop wherever he... well, she... went. She's been stumbling, falling, knocking stuff off tables, hitting her horns on doorways, and accidentally stepping on things ever since they came back.]

Hopefully your stuff has survived his adaptational clumsiness, but maybe not.

[Video]

Hey. It's Sonic. Sonic the, uh... Tauren? Anyone else havin' trouble literally fitting in after this body-switch stuff?

Oh and hey... Anyone have an idea where my body went?

Man, that sounds weird.