[There's a fellow in a suit that's just a bit too tight for him sitting before you. Yes, all of you. Anyone not on a call or otherwise preoccupied with the audio-visual portion of their tablet gets to say hello to a peculiar-looking individual dressed in an aubergine collared shirt and bearing an intensely grey-blue stare. Sherlock lifts a pale hand in greeting, waggling his fingers awkwardly (that's what people do to say hello, right?) He gazes down at the camera. By the background behind him, the man's sitting somewhere up on one of the tallest buildings in the city.]

My name is Sherlock Holmes. I've been listening to your chatter. 

It seems the general consensus is that the war we have all had foisted upon us is a losing battle. 

[His soft baritone carries a received pronunciation accent to anyone who's English and listening, or otherwise observant. By his state of dress and the other phone he's playing with, he's from around 2010 or so give or take a few years. He folds his hands in his lap and leans forward.]

I say, no, but if you continue on in the manner you have been, you are very likely destined for failure. I've done the math, but I'm told it bores people. 

[A file is pushed forward to all of the tablets in Exsilium in message form.]

Get back to me if you're interested in going home instead of wallowing about feeling sorry for yourselves, attending masquerades and sitting in awkward sympathy banquets. 
( An innocuous text file. )

[LOCKED TO: VANADI]
2o not iin the mood for thii2 2o not iin the FUCKIING mood for thii2.
hey a22hole.
we have 2hiit two dii2cu22.
namely your 2tatu2 wiith my kii2me2ii2.


[OPEN TO ALL (delayed, after conversation with Vanadi)]

2o ii don't normally do thii2 but hey guy2 2up.
who want2 two fiight a pii22ed off p2ychiic.
don't raii2e your hand2 all at once.
ii need two burn off thii2 energy.
come on iit'll be fun ii'm liike a fiinal bo22 level of diiffiiculty.
braggiing riight2 for two week2 iif you wiin.

Good day, I am Balder Odinson, brother to Thor and Loki and former King of Asgard.

I have been here but a short time but already I have met those who are not warriors. It seems dangerous to walk these streets unable to defend oneself, so I would be happy to teach any comers the basics. I am a swordsman and can teach hand-to-hand and other forms and weaponry as well as defensive strategies.

For those who can already fight, I invite you to spar with me. I have been fighting the same enemy for too long, and that tends to dull one's abilities.

Judging from some of the chatter on the Network, those monsters weren't anything some hadn't ever seen before. I gotta admit when I heard about them I was thinking more along the lines of Killer Croc myself, not-- [ a thoughtful pause. ] I'm not sure what it was supposed to be.

[ And there's another quick pause. ]

Alternate worlds are another thing people may be used to here, am I right? Those Initiative guys didn't mention it, but it was printed in that guide... Anyway, doesn't hurt to ask if anyone here might be familiar with Gotham City. [ Because she needs to know just how many variations are out there. Damn multiverse. ]

Or from Gotham. You get it.