[Video / audio, encrypted, sent to all open frequencies accessible by tablet.]

[holmesisnowhere]

[There's a fellow in a suit that's just a bit too tight for him sitting before you. Yes, all of you. Anyone not on a call or otherwise preoccupied with the audio-visual portion of their tablet gets to say hello to a peculiar-looking individual dressed in an aubergine collared shirt and bearing an intensely grey-blue stare. Sherlock lifts a pale hand in greeting, waggling his fingers awkwardly (that's what people do to say hello, right?) He gazes down at the camera. By the background behind him, the man's sitting somewhere up on one of the tallest buildings in the city.]

My name is Sherlock Holmes. I've been listening to your chatter. 

It seems the general consensus is that the war we have all had foisted upon us is a losing battle. 

[His soft baritone carries a received pronunciation accent to anyone who's English and listening, or otherwise observant. By his state of dress and the other phone he's playing with, he's from around 2010 or so give or take a few years. He folds his hands in his lap and leans forward.]

I say, no, but if you continue on in the manner you have been, you are very likely destined for failure. I've done the math, but I'm told it bores people. 

[A file is pushed forward to all of the tablets in Exsilium in message form.]

Get back to me if you're interested in going home instead of wallowing about feeling sorry for yourselves, attending masquerades and sitting in awkward sympathy banquets. 



** >> The attached document is hereby drafted and proposed by Mr. Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, for the people of Exsilium, to be updated as new information comes in. Rough outline started on [timestamp.]

TOP PERSONNEL PRIORITIES INCLUDE: SUSTENANCE+SUPPLIES, SHELTER, AMMUNITION.

REQUEST FOR INFORMATION / QUERIES:

>>> SUSTAINABILITY 
>>> AVAILABILITY
>>> SUPPLY? [ALTERNATIVE TO INITIATIVE SUPPLIES.]
>>> DEMAND. [WHO NEEDS WHAT.]
>>> CONTINGENCY PLANS. [OBVIOUS.]

[A diagram of Exsilium's current independent resources available [that Sherlock is aware of, some might be missing?] come up in a chart with average consumption per month and some red numbers that aren't promising.] 

>>> INDIVIDUALS WITH INFORMATION REGARDING THESE PROBLEMS SHOULD RESPOND IMMEDIATELY. SO FAR THE INITIATIVE HAS BEEN KIND ENOUGH TO SUPPLY US WITH WHAT WE NEED, BUT IN THE EVENT OF A RAID OR A COLLAPSE OF THE STRONGHOLD HERE, THERE SHOULD BE ALTERNATIVE SOURCES, INCLUDING POWER  FOR ANYONE OPERATING ELECTRICAL / OTHERWISE EQUIPMENT. SOLAR ENERGY IS APPARENTLY NOT AN OPTION HERE. (SORT OF LIKE LONDON.) SUGGEST HYDROGEN ALTERNATIVE.


MISSION: BYPASSING (TEDIOUS) SMALLER MISSIONS TO DIFFERENT TIME PERIODS AND WORKING FROM WITHIN THE UNITED EARTH TO INDUCE A SIMULTANEOUS COLLAPSE OF GOVERNMENT, MILITARY AND CIVIL DEFENCE.

- PRIORITIES

- DISABLING ANY EMERGENCY MANAGEMENT RESPONSE IN THE EU CAPITAL, THIS WILL INVOLVE BRINGING DOWN COMMUNICATIONS. SUGGEST EMP (TECHNOLOGY FOR SH IS CIRCA 2011 AD, ANY ADVANCEMENTS SINCE THEN WILL GLADLY CONSIDERED.) 

>>> CONSIDERED UNITS; CITIZEN HEALTH OFFICIALS, HOSPITALS, POLICE FORCE, EMERGENCY MANAGEMENT COORDINATORS AND FIELD OFFICERS, ANY AND ALL HAZARDOUS MATERIAL RESPONSE TEAMS.

>>> DISABLING THE MILITARY IS NOT MY EXPERTISE, BUT FROM A STRATEGIC STANDPOINT, A BRUTE-FORCE WAR WILL END IN INNUMERABLE CASUALTIES AND LOSS OF PROPERTY - SOLUTION IS NOT VIABLE. SUGGEST SABOTAGE, CONSPIRACY, INFILTRATION. 

>>> DISABLING THE GOVERNMENT IS EASIER. ASSASSINATION, CONSPIRACY, BLACKMAIL. EVERYONE HAS A WEAK POINT.

>>> LEAVING AS MUCH OF THE CIVILIAN POPULATION OF THE EU ALIVE AND UNHARMED. CASUALTIES AND FATALITIES WILL BE INEVITABLE, THOUGH NUMBERS SHOULD BE KEPT TO A MINIMUM AT ALL COSTS. 

>>> TERROR TACTICS AND GUERRILLA EFFORTS WILL BE BEST OUTPUT FOR EFFORT. TARGETING RELIGIOUS BUILDINGS, [EMPTY] SCHOOLS, GOVERNMENT BUILDINGS AND OTHER HIGH-PRIORITY TARGETS WILL BE EFFECTIVE IN CAUSING CHAOS. IF YOU'VE READ THIS DOCUMENT COMPLETELY I WILL ASK THAT THE WORD 'ROMAN CANDLES' BE INCLUDED IN THE SUBJECT OF YOUR EMAIL. I DON'T NEED IDIOTS WHO CAN'T READ MUCKING EVERYTHING ABOUT. 

---

PERSONNEL ORGANIZATION PROPOSED.


TEAM ONE: TERROR UNIT

INDIVIDUALS WITH EXPERIENCE IN ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING, EXPLOSIVES, SUBTERFUGE AND CRAWLING CAREFULLY THROUGH DUCTWORK OR SEWERS. SEVENTEEN RUBBER DUCKS AND A RED HERRING [STILL READING ARE YOU? VERY GOOD.]


TEAM TWO: DIPLOMACY / TECHNOLOGY
INDIVIDUALS EXPERIENCED IN GOVERNMENT MATTERS, INDIVIDUALS WHO WOULD CONSIDER THEMSELVES "HACKERS" BUT NEVER OPENLY CALL THEMSELVES SUCH A RIDICULOUS THING. IDENTITIES TO BE STOLEN, DATA TO BE ERASED, HAVOC TO BE WREAKED. APPLY WITHIN.

TEAM THREE: BRUISERS / BRUTE FORCE / INFANTRY

EXACTLY WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE.

TEAM FOUR: MEDICAL RESPONSE.
SEE ABOVE. 

[Attached to the document is a set of maps - one completely drawn of the main city and then a host of others, probably dragged out of the library. Sherlock has made an overlay of the incomplete maps of the EU that he's managed to scrounge out of the library, all time-stamped and easily moved about for the convenience of the viewer. A note blinks on the side: incomplete, not for reliable tactical use.] The outline of the city has the tactical disadvantages of the position, the fortifications, circled in red, and suggestions scribbled in the side.

One note reads: 'Monsters? Fascinating Need tissue samples, and a lab...'

THIS OUTLINE SUBJECT TO EDITS, CHANGES AND RUBBER DUCK DEBUGGING. 

BEST REGARDS,
-SH.

Comments

video;

[tardisblue]

You'd need at least nineteen rubber ducks and two red herrings.

[Pauses.]

Didn't happen to bring any tea with you, did you?

oh god these two. :D [encrypted key to incoming video]

[holmesisnowhere]

I... just put that in there to make sure people were reading everything.

[Sherlock stares at the video carefully, settling against what looks to be an iron girder behind his head.]

I had three teabags in my coat when I arrived, one is Lady Grey, one is Twinings Earl Grey, and the other is something awful like chamomile. None of them are very good, and all promise to be weak, if not unacceptably bland.

[ video ]

[hostage]

The Initiative'll let you in their labs if you just tell 'em why you need to use 'em.

[ video, encrypted key to accept current incoming video only ]

[holmesisnowhere]

To run tests on those beasts that came through when I first arrived. I'd like to see if I can't create some sort of neurotoxin to make them less of a threat.

[Voice] Tell if if you'd rather I dropped the lisp

[biwinning]

Firtht off: TL;ADR. I only read it becauthe I'm really bored. And what a shame I've already joined two separate armiesth! I'd be the perfect guy for doing basically everything you've got lithted here.

[Voice, encrypted key accept current incoming video only]

[holmesisnowhere]

...Did I miss Halloween or some other stupid meaningless holiday?

ooc

[neveraskedforthis]

(( how do you feel about mild fourth walling? given he's--sherlock holmes, haha. ))

ooc

[holmesisnowhere]

[[ i'm okay with it, just don't break the universe too hard: my general rule is: know who sherlock holmes is / have an equivalent in your world? cool! want to tell him his entire life and all of the casefiles from every source ever? noooot so cool. ]]

OOC:

[holmesisnowhere]

Off to work, 6am-2pm central US time. potentially will be tagging (slowly) at work if nothing hits the fan. :)

please do not reply to this comment so I can edit it when I come back.

video;

[crymoore]

[ It takes Jaina a while to pry her hands away from her chin long enough to manage a reply, but when she does, the sorceress is a bit more eager than she should be. What is a Roman Candle? Rubber Ducks? Red Herring? All of these are strange terms to add to a document and it's like a puzzle to her to pick them out.

Unfortunately, she has no idea what an email is so there's no pressing need on her mind to comment with keywords or anything of the sort. ]

Your first draft? [ Tilting her head curiously to the side. ] Tell me, Sherlock, have you any experience in managing a war, much less leading an army?

video; encrypted

[holmesisnowhere]

It is.

[Sherlock gazes back at the video screen for a long couple of moments.]

Yes, in a way, but I'm not a general. I'm just a strategist.

[ video ]

[obfuskate]

At long last, somebody with a semblance of intelligence.

[ a semblance. welp, it's a compliment from him, at any rate, so there's your bright side.

Shadow seems to be scrolling around, reading his proposed ideas, and then stopping towards the end, cringing visibly. ]

... Rubber duck debugging.

[ video - encrypted ]

[holmesisnowhere]

A semblance? I'm honored. [Whoo, sarcasm.]

[What... the... Is he talking to a hedgehog?]

I use a skull, actually, but he works well enough.

permavideo;

[gamora]

[ pama he's thorough. not that she actually read any of it - too long, sure as flark didn't read. ]

Chop out all the unimportant parts first.

video - encrypted

[holmesisnowhere]

[Sherlock considers this for a moment.] Infiltrate the EU government from a political standpoint, turn them against one another, destroy their emergency management capabilities, make a massive distraction somewhere else, and while that's happening, do all the damage we can to their military.

Also, finding supplies independent of the initiative is of paramount importance.

[video]

[charming_jerk]

[Johnny looks over the list before responding.]

Shit, you're pretty damn thorough. And yeah, of course I wanna kick some ass and get outta here. I'm short on rubber ducks, though.

[video]

[holmesisnowhere]

[Sherlock leans forward to regard the person on his screen.]

It's in my nature. I'm a consulting detective, after all.

The rubber ducks really was just be sure people were reading the thing completely.

permavid.

[symmachy]

[gently interested]

Quite a plan. And you believe people will go along with it?

video - encrypted

[holmesisnowhere]

[Thoughtful Sherlock considers this idea for a moment.]

No, not if I'm in charge of it. Leaders are important, and they all need followers. I'm not the sort to garner for either position, so obviously someone will have to be a general here. I'm just the strategy. [He taps the side of his head.]

Video

[ofmyth]

[What is your fascination with ducks made of rubber?]

I will not aid in the destruction of schools or buildings of religious significance, be they empty or otherwise.

I may be able to aid you in your search for electrical energy. [He sounds a little amused at this.]

Re: Video

[holmesisnowhere]

[They're cute, okay?]

... How so?

[There's interest sparking in his eyes.]

[dusk_and_dawn]

Your ways of addressing the public may need work, but it is good to see a plan being proposed.

[audio]

[holmesisnowhere]

I'm not much of a people person, so I'm told.

[audio]

[asskickersunite]

Alright, let's see what you got for organizing shit. A lot of this sounds like stuff I can do.

[text, encrypted.]

[holmesisnowhere]

Excellent.

Details?

-SH.

Video;

[onemoredeath]

[ What a nice little list you have there, Sherlock Holmes. Takegami reads through it and then reads through it again before chuckling to himself and deciding to come online. No, he doesn't use email and rarely will he text - that is something he would do for his nice little troll buddy or maybe with Agent Small. No, Takegami is quite ridiculously vain enough to use the video function. ]

There are a few problems with your list, problems that no amount of ducks or herrings will help. But if it will light your roman candle, it's seventeen ducks and one red herrings.

[video - encrypted]

[holmesisnowhere]

[Sherlock is unimpressed, or at least he rather looks it. His pale eyes are intent on the screen as the young man pops into view, and the detective props his hand on his chin.]

Good enough.

A purpose in contacting me, perhaps, or is it just because you just wanted to regurgitate my own writing back at me? Flattering, I suppose.

[There's a faint smirk on Sherlock's lips.]

Tell me about the problems, then. Every plan needs revision.

video;

[bratworth]

[ Well, that's some impressive planning. Someone's clearly been thinking about all of this in great depth. ]

How long have you been here for?

video; encrypted

[holmesisnowhere]

About a week, why do you ask?

video

[wrexy]

[flatly] Are you our new crowned prince of self-importance?

video

[holmesisnowhere]

No, I believe I'd be the king of self-importance.

... maybe the dictator-for-life.

[video]

[bitch_is_back]

Wooow, yeah that's too long and boring to read.

[video]

[holmesisnowhere]

That's nice.

[The video is clicked off.]

text (high encryption);

[curepotion]

Thorough. Maybe we'll actually get something done.

Do you know John Watson?

text (high encryption);

[holmesisnowhere]

... Why do you ask? - SH

text/encrypted

[slingshots]

dibs on team terror

text/encrypted

[holmesisnowhere]

You would. -SH

[grayatonement]

Wouldn't telling you what I'm good at ruin half the fun?

text (high encryption)

[holmesisnowhere]

Only if you want to be useless or in my way. I don't have patience for either. -SH

[trustycrowbar]

[Well well. Looks like someone is a productive little smartass.]

[...He likes the guy already.]

...If you're looking for a bio lab there's a perfectly good one over in the Hold. Also, are you planning on bypassing missions altogether? Keep in mind that they are in fact a form of sabotage in themselves, they just work retroactively.