You know what honestly blows the most in this place?

[ Jack's slumped down into the cushions of her unit's living room couch, an empty bag of chips resting against her stomach as she rambles. ]

The fucking cable. Has anyone else been watching Days of Our Dumbass Totalitarian Future? I don't know how many more fucking times I can watch the big reveal that Sally McBigtits is pregnant and the great betrayal of Fabio von Whatshisass fucking around behind her back before I shove my foot through the TV. I miss the extranet. I miss the bispecies porn. At least it was laugh worthy to see a Hanar and an Elcor trying to get it on.

You know what they say about idle hands... Well, I'm not really sure, but in this context it probably means arson is on the horizon, so let's work on the entertainment sector some time before I decide it's a better plan to just go around torching shit for the funsies.

[ There's a long pause in which she just stares with the most bored of eyes at the screen, face intensely unimpressed with life as a whole. ]


Shepard, I'm hungry.

[...and the Doctor looks terrible. He's slumped in an easy chair, staring woozily at the screen and blinking dizzily. When he speaks it's a weary mumble.]

Someone really needs to talk with this Initiative about their vortex hardware.... [squint] What's the date right now? My timesense is... scrambled.

Also, does anyone know where I could get some decent tea...?