[He thinks there'll be static in the transmission but there isn't. This tech is a lot more advance than the boxes he's used to. He yells at it and leans close to the netbook. All anyone is getting is black for now.]

Hello! Hey! Anyone on this?

[That steady tapping noise? It's the sound of him tapping at the netbook. It doesn't work like that, he knows and yet he's still doing it because it's a habit to hit on non-responsive machinery. Then finally, his face appears, at least the lower portion of it. He had the thumb on the camera all along. Bucky's mouth twitch upwards, but he doesn't miss a beat.]

Green light still means go, huh? Glad somethings don't change.

[A long inhale and a short exhale. Then it's down to business.]

This is place-- It's nice. It can't be a HYDRA base. That lady was way too decent. That and apparently this is Britain. Last time, I was in Britain-- Long story.

[A beat]

We're all sitting ducks here, aren't we?

[ Marco sits on his bed, looking amused and annoyed at the same time. ]

Dear aliens or government officials who have probably kidnapped me and are about to commence brainwashing or hideous torture:

You could've at least thrown in a Baywatch poster for the cell room. Preferably one that doesn't have Hasslehof. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of the guy and his ridiculous amounts of exposed chest hair, but a guy's last days really should be in the company of two dimensional Carmen, if it's not too much trouble.

Hell, let's just assume you're feeling extra courteous today and throw in a bag of Cheetos and a can of Mountain Dew. A guy's last day has got to have some junk food with it.

And really, this thing? [ he waves the device ] A little outdated, don't you think? I don't see a single port for dial-up. What good's a comm system if it doesn't have internet? A guy's last day should be spent checking his final fantasy football score.

So. If it's not too much trouble, which I doubt it is since you kidnapped me and I'm being a remarkably good sport about the whole thing, my demands:

[holds up one finger ]

Carmen.

[ holds up another ]

Junk food.

[ one more ]

Fantasy Football.

See? Only three. Man, I'm letting you guys off easy.