[ hey look, after meandering around the place for like three weeks, the guy is finally talking to people who aren't the ones he's meeting at random. gettaloadathat. ]

This is - unlikely in the highest degree, but does anyone happen to know where I can find a piano?

[At eight-thirty in the morning the crisp voice of a young woman begins to drone.] So the holiday of Christmas is just around the corner. For those of you not in the know - of whom I'm sure there are many, I was such a one myself less than 2 years ago - Christmas is a winter festival, meaning its hallmarks are decoration in the red and green hues that are so rare in this desolate season. There is delicious food, and an exchange of gifts, and an overall pretense of universal goodwill. It is, as they say, the most wonderful time of the year.

That time of the year, Christmas Day, is the 25th of December. Celebrations often start earlier on Christmas Eve, or the 24th. If you're familiar with the calendar that governs timekeeping in Exsilium, you'll know that means we have less than a week left.

Now I happen to work with Vennett, the temporal programmer. There are two main things of public import I've learned from him. First, New York and Las Vegas are some of the most popular destinations for missions that procure physical goods and no other result. Second, encoding a unique destination is a non-neglegible drain on resources, especially when the goal of the mission is not related to the location.

If you intend to spend the holidays in Las Vegas, enjoying whatever entertainments it has to offer, I can't really stop you. On the other hand, I have a proposal for whoever else has Christmas shopping to do: We all go to New York, together. I've made this announcement early in the day hoping to organize an expedition this evening; if there are enough interested parties who consider this notice to be too short, a delay of a day or more is perfectly feasible. Either way, we meet in front of the Transporter at 6 o'clock.

And one more thing. Should you be repulsed by the location or perceived frivolity of this entire exercise, but still want to get out of here, for the sake of a [she says like it's a dirty word] 'vacation' or any other reason, why don't you consider the latest lovely selection of mission proposals? AI's new simulations are absolutely top-notch, and we've been getting excellent results already.

Alright, that's all for now. I hope everyone listening to this has a Merry Christmas when the day comes.

[the camera shifts beneath the hands of an amateur as it's set on a flat surface. it's on a bit of an angle, but the position is acceptable. Loki skitters back eagerly, peering into the camera and then waving his hands in show. as he scoots back it's apparent some awful fashion travesty has happened, because he's wearing a terrible Christmas sweater, complete with a big bow pulled over his Asgardian robes. it goes down to his knees.]

It's been an exciting few weeks now, hasn't it? Hello again, Exsilium! I've come to give the gift of Christmas Spirit, marketing gimmicks aside, of course! [he takes a few steps backward as he faces the camera, holding a hand to his chin.] Why, what could be done to spread the cheer of the Yule holiday? With everything that's happened, it does get a bit depressing here ... right in the center of a self-defeating winter full of abominable beasts that wish for nothing more then our untimely demises. And there's still time travel to think about! And our impending existential crises! Terrible, right?

[he holds up a finger suddenly.] Yet I bring Yuletide cheer to brighten all. Surprise! Nothing so extreme as coal in socks and indefinitely kept cakes of fruit, but something more humble in its ageless practice! The ugly Christmas sweater! [he suddenly steps aside and there is a very festive looking red and green pile of awful, terrible, but very warm looking ugly Christmas sweaters. the mass has to at least be up to his shoulder, and there are all different kinds. but is where he got all these fugly knit novelties really a question that anyone wants to ask?] I'm opening requests to lend everyone some spirit! Please make them below so they can all be filled in a timely fashion, all formality, of course. No need to crowd, there's plenty for everyone. All requests can picked up promptly.

Jolly exclamations of ho ho ho and stuff!

-
UGLY YULE KNIT THREADS ADOPTION FORM
(1) Your name (or your unknowing buddy's name), of course, and the sweater you wish to adopt.
(2) Tell me of your intended sweater schemes. How will it aid you on endeavor to spread holiday cheer?
(3) Very fashion!
(4) Are you a super hero (Peter Parker)? Put your name (not Peter Parker) here!


( OOC: go ahead and pick a sweater, he has a load of them. you don't have to fill out the form or anything if you want one! just go ahead and reply however you want. obviously come put them on people who will not put them on themselves. )

[The video starts quietly, facing a silver-haired elf woman who is smiling in amusement. It seems someone has been trying to convince her of something.]

One song, Kili. I am not in the habit of making a spectacle of myself.

[There's nothing to accompany her, no instruments or sound, but she does start to sing softly and does well for having nothing to go on. Celebrían puts a lot of feeling into it, becoming more than a little bit lost in the song. Singing will always be something peaceful for her, a small escape when she needs one or a way to relax. And a reminder of singing for her young daughter, of when her boys were young and she sang for them, of when she was young and her parents sang for her.

It's a pleasant feeling, to share this with people in the midst of war. Even if she knows a lot of people probably won't appreciate it or think she's wasting her time and theirs, at least some people will smile for it. Okay so maybe Kili convincing her to sing a song isn't the worst thing he could have done.]

( cut for lyrics )