Listen closely, you simpletons, and you will hear my genius! I, the ultra-gorgeous and breathtakingly brilliant Dist the Rose have devised a way to generate heat!

This should be a surprise to no one, as I am a true genius. I will allow you to feast your eyes on my newest creation!

[The camera pans around to a small device, roughly one foot by one foot, covered in a grill and glowing slightly orange. It's clearly constructed by scrap metal, but actually looks to be fairly well put-together- it's in no danger of falling apart.]

I am available to commission for such devices, fortunate for you! They will warm one large room. Contact me if you wish!

[And the camera swings back around. He smiles, pleased with himself, and ends the feed.]