video;

[the_human]

[You've probably seen this kid running around for the last two weeks, shrieking excitedly when he notices you're a human being (or fish person, or troll, or whatever; he's pretty excitable). But it's only now he attacks the network, all smiles and cheer.]

Holy SCHMAO, you guys, I've never seen so many humans! This is amazing! Where I'm from-- well, my name is Finn, first off! Finn the Human, from the land of Ooo! I'm basically a knight there, it's pretty great. I fight evil and stuff with my brother! But I'm the last human being ever, and I've never seen any others before-- but here you all are! Which is awesome!  We should all get together and talk about human stuff. What do you eat? Do you like bacon pancakes? What about--

[Oh wait no he had a message here. Finn takes a breath and adds:]

Anyway, uh-- I know things are kind of bumslops right now, but, uh, you gotta just keep your chin up! Sometimes being a hero means nobody likes you very much, or they think you're wrong, or even making mistakes. But as long as you're trying to do the right thing, you're all right!

Oh, and-- if anybody needs lessons in being a hero, I'm totally free. I've got, like, a billion years experience in it.

Comments

video

[flarp]

Hey, I know you! You're the guy who yelled at me the other day! You got some nerve, you know! You'd better apologize! Apologiiiiiiiize!

video

[the_human]

I didn't yell at you! I was just yelling. Out of excitement! You look really cool.

video

[khajidont]

[Oh my god, there's probably enough enthusiasm right here to overpower the rest of the sadsacks for maybe the next hundred years.]

A billion years experience, huh?

video

[the_human]

Pretty much! I've been doing it since I was old enough to think. What's your name!

video

[ofgoldenfoil]

You were the last of your kind?

[ That is terribly tragic, in Aurican's opinion. ]

video 1/2

[the_human]

Yeah . . .

[His eyes go all wide and sad for a moment-- he looks like he might say something deep, or profound, or even just lonely--]

video

[the_human]

-- but then he brightens.]

But not anymore!

[video]

[legal_eagle]

Hi Finn. I'm Sonya. I guess my last name would also be the Human, which is kind of like being family, huh.

[video]

[the_human]

Yeah, you could totally be my sister!

[He grins at her.]

But it's more like a title, cuz I'm the only human. Like how Dr. Dextrose is a marshmallow person, but I don't call him Dextrose the Marshmallow all the time.

[ text ]

[reassures]

You were the last human? What about your brother?

[ video ]

[the_human]

He's a dog! Our parents found me when I was a baby.

video;

[5055034455]

[And here is Saul, squinting at the screen like he's doing some kind of thorough examination, complete with thoughtful humming.]

You don't look a billion years old. I didn't know humans could even live that long.

video;

[the_human]

[He laughs.]

Dude, I didn't mean actually a billion years old. I'm fourteen!

video;

[quackery]

Is that, like... A pancake made of bacon or a pancake with bacon on top of it?

[That is so weird.]

video;

[the_human]

It's a pancake with bacon in it!

[datastream]

I'm human! [Ene sounds so excited about this like it's a brand new thing that just happened to her.]

[the_human]

So am I!

[He shouts it at her, his arms in the air!]

What's your name?

video

[ringbeast]

Haha, hey kid, I like your hat!

[He grins, flipping up his cat-eared hood]

Check it out, we match!

video

[the_human]

We totally do! Are those wolf ears?

text

[lazyinlove]

[Okay, that's kind of bizarre. But amusing.]

mostly humans here. Couple dragons or aliens or angels or hobbits too.

always video from him!

[the_human]

What's a hobbit?

video;

[pomerenian]

[Have a puppy face in the video feed! The voice that comes from him is deep and mechanical and definitely doesn't fit the face.]

You do not look one billion.

video;

[the_human]

[No wow sorry no matter how deep the voice is-- well, it doesn't matter, it's a talking dog.]

OH MY GLOB YOU CAN TALK! I knew there had to be normal people around here! Who are you!

[Video]

[hornedomen]

[So many words, where does he begin?]

You want to talk about human stuff? I never ate bacon pancakes before. What is it?

[Video]

[the_human]

Pancakes! But with bacon in em. You're human too? What sorts of stuff do you do?

video; private

[biwinning]

Okay. I don't even like you, but I'm going to give you thome A+ advice.

Don't trust the Thief.

video; private

[the_human]

Why? She seems nice! --and anyway, you were a mega-colossal jerk to me! You're probably lying right now!

[strategic_guile]

Everyone loves bacon pancakes. But have you had bacon in a brownie?

[the_human]

NO but that sounds totally awesome!

text

[whatsupcroc]

Exactly! You've got to look on the bright side! It doesn't mean you're being unrealistic, just that you're focusing on the good and not all the bad.

Though what does a hero do when he's the guy who ate the last cookie from the cookie jar?

video

[the_human]

He totally runs away. Orrr maybe he should try to make more. But mostly he runs.

text;

[alittlesweptup]

Knighting a bit young in Ooo, are they?

video;

[the_human]

[SHRUG.]

I guess when you're just such a good hero, your princess knows you're destined to be a knight anyway, so you might as well get it done early!

Video

[diedahero]

[Hey, something actually interesting enough for Link to respond that isn't boring grown-up stuff or too many words to try and have the patience to read.]

Did a princess make you a hero, too?

Video

[the_human]

Yeah! Who's your princess?

video

[chittybang]

Hey there, Finn! I'm Asami. I hope you don't mind me asking... but if you fight evil with your brother, how are you the last human being ever?

video

[the_human]

Aw, it's okay. I forget not everybody has all the cool stuff my world does. He's a dog! My whole family is dogs. They took me in when I was a baby. But they can talk and stuff, it's not like I was raised by-- by normal animals. Are you a princess, Asami?

video;

[worldswillburn]

A billion years. Really.

video;

[the_human]

Uhhhhh does everyone take things literally here? Because that might be a problem.

video;

[bittertears]

I apologize for asking, but... The Land of what?

video;

[the_human]

Ooo! Like the sound a cow makes? But without the M. Ooooooo.