exsilium | video;

[You've probably seen this kid running around for the last two weeks, shrieking excitedly when he notices you're a human being (or fish person, or troll, or whatever; he's pretty excitable). But it's only now he attacks the network, all smiles and cheer.]

Holy SCHMAO, you guys, I've never seen so many humans! This is amazing! Where I'm from-- well, my name is Finn, first off! Finn the Human, from the land of Ooo! I'm basically a knight there, it's pretty great. I fight evil and stuff with my brother! But I'm the last human being ever, and I've never seen any others before-- but here you all are! Which is awesome! We should all get together and talk about human stuff. What do you eat? Do you like bacon pancakes? What about--

[Oh wait no he had a message here. Finn takes a breath and adds:]

Anyway, uh-- I know things are kind of bumslops right now, but, uh, you gotta just keep your chin up! Sometimes being a hero means nobody likes you very much, or they think you're wrong, or even making mistakes. But as long as you're trying to do the right thing, you're all right!

Oh, and-- if anybody needs lessons in being a hero, I'm totally free. I've got, like, a billion years experience in it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

NO but that sounds totally awesome!

It tastes even better warm with a scoop of ice cream on the side. If I find some, I'll treat you to it.

[You are adorable Finn. He can't handle it.]

Aw, yeah, thanks, dude! And if I find some, you'll be the first I call. What's your name?

Blaine. Good to meet you, Finn.

Now what are these hero lessons you're talking about?

Oh! They're just lessons on being a hero-- you know, how to use a sword, or tell if you should rescue someone, or what sorts of princesses can rescue themselves-- junk like that!