video;

[the_human]

[You've probably seen this kid running around for the last two weeks, shrieking excitedly when he notices you're a human being (or fish person, or troll, or whatever; he's pretty excitable). But it's only now he attacks the network, all smiles and cheer.]

Holy SCHMAO, you guys, I've never seen so many humans! This is amazing! Where I'm from-- well, my name is Finn, first off! Finn the Human, from the land of Ooo! I'm basically a knight there, it's pretty great. I fight evil and stuff with my brother! But I'm the last human being ever, and I've never seen any others before-- but here you all are! Which is awesome!  We should all get together and talk about human stuff. What do you eat? Do you like bacon pancakes? What about--

[Oh wait no he had a message here. Finn takes a breath and adds:]

Anyway, uh-- I know things are kind of bumslops right now, but, uh, you gotta just keep your chin up! Sometimes being a hero means nobody likes you very much, or they think you're wrong, or even making mistakes. But as long as you're trying to do the right thing, you're all right!

Oh, and-- if anybody needs lessons in being a hero, I'm totally free. I've got, like, a billion years experience in it.

Comments

[the_human]

Yeah, Jake's pretty special. He's got magic stretchy powers-- he can stretch out for miles, it's so cool!

[reassures]

Like-- a rubber band?

[YOU HAVE SURPRISED HER GOOD SIR. That's a new one.]

[the_human]

Yeah, kinda! And he can do shapes, too-- like, he can change himself to look like me! Just the shape, though, not, like, his fur or anything.

He's pretty rad.

[His smile fades a little. Man, he misses Jake.]

[reassures]

[Oh no don't do that. He was so happy a few minutes ago!!]

If you were raised by dogs, who taught you to read?

[SUBJECT CHANGE?! Just go back to being happy and excitable please.]

[the_human]

My mom did! She's really smart. I mean, we can all read. Jake likes the classics.

[A little less sad! But not as excited WHAT DID YOU DO NILL.]

[reassures]

[WHY THIS.]

Can they speak?

[She wants to change the subject away from his family and maybe get him to be happy again but she is not sure how at this point. GIVE HER A FEW.]

[the_human]

Oh, yeah, of course!

[a beat. He confides:]

It's weird here. I mean, I like all the humans here, but I haven't seen any animals or dragons or candy people or anything.

[reassures]

There are dragons here-- but they're Transports as well. I've never heard of candy people.

Do all animals in your world talk?

[the_human]

Most of them! Some don't. But it's a pretty good bet that they will. And candy people are made of candy! There's marshmallow kids, and lollipop girls, and stuff like that. I haven't found anyone else who's heard of them either, it's weird . . .

Are you human?

[reassures]

They must not be common. That happens with other worlds sometimes.

I am.

[A beat.]

I might not be what you would consider human, though.

[the_human]

What do you mean?

[reassures]

I have wings. It isn't very normal for a human.

[the_human]

Ohhhh. Yeah, probably not. But that's really cool! Can you fly? How big are they? What color are they? Are they instead of your arms or on your back?

[reassures]

[It takes a few seconds, because she's not overly fond of the video feature, but she flicks it on nonetheless. Have a slightly awkward looking older teen with wings, which are fluttering slightly just in view. She waves at the feed, but goes back to typing after.]

They're too small to fly with.

[the_human]

[He beams at her.]

They're beautiful!

[reassures]

[She goes so red at that. Nill doesn't necessarily blush too frequently, just because the occasion rarely comes up, but man she is bright red right now. She sputters, which sounds a little strange because no vocalizations to go with it.]

Thank you.

[the_human]

You're welcome! So-- how'd you get them?

[reassures]

I was born with them.

It's something that's-- normal, where I come from. I don't think it is anywhere else.

[the_human]

Huh. It might be! But even if it isn't, it's still really cool. I wouldn't know. About the normal thing, I mean, not the cool thing.

[For a moment he gropes at his back, as if to feel for wings.]

Are they always white?

[reassures]

I wouldn't either.

[She smiles briefly, and turns the video feed off again, because wow she really dislikes using it.]

They are. I don't think wings change colors. [ ... ] I used to know a boy with very big, orange wings-- and he could fly.

[the_human]

Woah! Cool! Flying must be awesome. Sometimes Jake flies us around, and his girlfriend flies all the time, but it'd be totally math if I could do it myself!

[reassures]

It seemed very cool-- he was very cool, too.

Is his girlfriend a bird?

[the_human]

No, she was a rainicorn!

[A beat. He adds, somewhat uncertainly:]

Do you have them? They're suuuuper long-- I think Lady is fifteen feet-- and really skinny. And they're rainbow! And they can fly! And they've got four legs. They kinda look like horses, but they've got a horn, and they can fly. And they're rainbow!

[reassures]

I've heard of unicorns, but never a rainicorn. They sound amazing.

[She suspects it may be best not to tell him that in most cases, unicorns are a myth. Most cases that she knows, anyway.]

[the_human]

She's pretty awesome. She and Jake had babies-- dog-rainicorn babies! They're super cute.