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[You've probably seen this kid running around for the last two weeks, shrieking excitedly when he notices you're a human being (or fish person, or troll, or whatever; he's pretty excitable). But it's only now he attacks the network, all smiles and cheer.]

Holy SCHMAO, you guys, I've never seen so many humans! This is amazing! Where I'm from-- well, my name is Finn, first off! Finn the Human, from the land of Ooo! I'm basically a knight there, it's pretty great. I fight evil and stuff with my brother! But I'm the last human being ever, and I've never seen any others before-- but here you all are! Which is awesome! We should all get together and talk about human stuff. What do you eat? Do you like bacon pancakes? What about--

[Oh wait no he had a message here. Finn takes a breath and adds:]

Anyway, uh-- I know things are kind of bumslops right now, but, uh, you gotta just keep your chin up! Sometimes being a hero means nobody likes you very much, or they think you're wrong, or even making mistakes. But as long as you're trying to do the right thing, you're all right!

Oh, and-- if anybody needs lessons in being a hero, I'm totally free. I've got, like, a billion years experience in it.

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[Oh my god, there's probably enough enthusiasm right here to overpower the rest of the sadsacks for maybe the next hundred years.]

A billion years experience, huh?

Pretty much! I've been doing it since I was old enough to think. What's your name!

It's Jaime. And for the record? Did not know that bacon pancakes were a thing.

Oh, man, they're awesome, you gotta try em! My bro Jake cooks em all the time, they're great. I could try makin' some for you!

What is it, just fry up some bacon and pour batter on top? I think we could make it a team effort. If you're the last human where you're from - [which is horrifically sad, so he's just going to... skip on over that] - what's your brother?

A dog! Our mom and dad found me on a mountain when I was a baby.

[Aww, mom and dad. Even if he is the last human, he's still glad he had Joshua and Margaret as his parents. Finn smiles a little, pleased.]

They were awesome, too. And both dogs! I've got another brother, Jermaine, but I haven't talked to him in a while. Uhh-- oh, yeah! But that's how you do it. Wanna come over now and make some?

[Cheerfully sung:]

You take some bacon and you put it inna pancake--♫

Oh, so - talking dogs. Cool.

[He's heard weirder, he supposes.]

Sure, why not. Where are you at?

The room they give you! Uh-- I'm 705!

All right, I'll come on over. We can make extra if your roomies want some too. [He waves, then clicks the device off. He grabs a few essentials from his own kitchen and stuffs them into his backpack before heading over there, figuring that the new kid wouldn't have them.

It's kind of awful that a kid - or at least someone who seems awfully young; he can't really tell with that hat on - got brought to a place like this, but hey, Jaime's happy to make sure that his stay here starts with something as innocuous as bacon pancakes.

However it is they're making them. He raps his knuckles on the door once he arrives, and just in case, says,] Hey, it's Jaime.

Hi!

[He throws open the door happily. He's already covered in flour, and he's got pans and eggs and milk on the counter.]

Let's make pancakes!

Hey. [He lifts the bag he brought over, and says,] I guess I brought some extra.

[He steps into the apartment, looking at the sight of Finn covered with flour with visible amusement.]

Full disclaimer: I don't actually remember how to make pancakes. [Not without looking up a recipe on the 'net, anyway.] You're gonna have to show me the ropes.

Aww, that's okay! We can totally wing it. I put eggs and flour and oil in it . . . it tastes pretty good so far. Here, have some!

Raw? That's how you get salmonella.

[That is, admittedly, an automatic reaction after being lectured on it time and time again. It doesn't mean that Jaime doesn't swipe his pinky finger across the mixing spoon to stick it in his face anyway, because listening to ever health hazard in the book would get old, and fast.]

Huh. Needs sugar, I think.

Good idea!

[He races around, searching for the sugar.]

Where are you from?

I'm from a version of Earth, just like this place - except I live across the sea from here, in America. [It's weird, how specifying what planet he's from has become standard.]

It's way different from the place you're from, from the sounds of it. We've... mostly got humans, and our dogs don't talk.

Ohhhh. What else besides mostly humans?

We've got a few people from different planets that have been living on Earth. Martians and Kryptonians are the big ones.

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