three; video

[irritating]

[ Hi so here's a video of this asshole sitting on the floor of her moonbase room, looking... messily festive. She's got a few strings of silver tinsel randomly wrapped around her head and shoulders, a string of blinking, multi coloured lights hanging over her wings, and there appears to be a snowman sticker stuck to her cheek. ]

Right so I've been packin' shit up and I realized I never said hey fuck you guys like I should've, so hey fuck you guys, especially you Earthy folk 'cause not a single one of you fucks told me about department stores. I mean fuckin' come on, look at all the shit they have -

[ She tilts the camera to the floor around her and wow yeah she sure has been robbing Walmarts. Actually you can't even see the floor itself, it's just... stuff, literally everywhere, with barely a thing in her suitcase (which still has all the tags on it) that's just laying there among the pile, open and abandoned. Apollo then sets the tablet back down on the bed so she can once again have her hands free. ]

Hey by the way, Donny and medfriends, got the shit you wanted. Got uh, little hammered there for a bit and I mighta temporarily lost the damn bag I put it all in but I got it again! You assholes still on the moon or didya take off to snowland already? And actually y'know what, speakin' of snowland, I'm gonna be real sweet and letcha haaaaave [ rustle rustle ] some of these too! [ Is that a box of flavoured condoms she's holding up right now, wow it sure is. ] Kinda figure it's cold as balls down there so hey, how 'bout some fruity humpin' to keep everyone warm? Like fuck you got uh, let's see. [ Reading from the back and adding her own embellishments: ] Grapedick? Sure! Bananadong? No problem! Berrycock? Gotcha fuckin' covered! [ God she looks so pleased with life right now. ] What a fuckin' world Earth is, hey?



By hey seriously it looks really goddamn cold down there and Metalhead ate the gloves I stole, anyone wanna help a tropical girl out and gimme somethin' to keep my fingers from freezin' the fuck off?

Comments

video;

[charming_jerk]

[Yeah okay, he's laughing. Johnny's background shows that he's down at the ] Man. I hope I never come down with a case of bananadong. That sounds horrific.

I should have some spare gloves, I took a bunch on a mission last week. Just a little behind on distributing everythin' since I'm busy on my Antarctic adventure.

permavideo

[irritating]

Hey apparently there's enough people who're into the sweet delicious taste of bananadong that stores gotta have full fuckin' shelves of this shit.

[ Also oh boy, the offer of gloves delights her immediately. ] Perfect! You still hangin' 'round up here or areya Earthside rollin' in the snow?

Re: permavideo

[charming_jerk]

[He turns the camera to show the scenery from a nearby window.] Currently I'm walkin' in a winter wonderland, but actually, lotta my unsorted supplies're in my room on the base. There's a few bags of stuff for the war effort, so take whatcha need. Just, y'know, don't take all of it.

[badnewsboy]

[ymir's frozen pit, he's still trying to get over all the phallic references that were made there. LET'S JUST NOT MENTION IT.]

The majesty of the merchants who carry multiple goods through various departments has been realized! Er ... that's certainly a lot of things that you've curiously acquired ...

[irritating]

Yeah that's 'cause there's a lotta things to acquire! Robbin' ammo in one aisle, nabbin' blankets in another, findin' fuckin' lube in another, Christ-mas shit everywhere in one corner - real nice set up they got there, it's like they're askin' me to steal everything!

[badnewsboy]

Are there possibly ... more things to acquire? Sweets, baked goods, curiously tiny plastic poorly painted animal shapes and fancy hats?

video;

[aequivoci]

[ he is laaaaaaaughing ]

Festive enough?

video;

[irritating]

I dunno, what d'you think? [ Smiling, she flaps her wings a bit, almost in time to the blinking of the lights but not quite. ] Can't say I'm used to this holiday, think I need some more colour or what?

video;

[aequivoci]

You could do with some snowflakes somewhere on you.

By the way, this woman can keep your tropical self out from becoming a popsicle down here. Quality items, if I do say so myself.

[video]

[ringthenoise]

Hey, nice collection of crap ya got there. You sure there's no gloves in that mess?

[video]

[irritating]

It's my pride an' joy! [ Not really, but she's pleased with it anyway. ] Yup, pretty sure. Only nabbed one pair, and my dog decided he wanted to fuckin' eat 'em for... whatever fuckin' reason. Didn't realize how tasty gloves were, I guess.

[video]

[ringthenoise]

Maybe the dog was hopin' they'd be banana flavored.

text, anon;

[alittlesweptup]

Talk to DITR. We brought a whole boatload of winter kit through the transporter. They should have more than enough to spare you a set of clothes

1/2

[irritating]

whos ditr again

2/2

[irritating]

[ then shortly after because she only thinks after she's sent a message ]
wait nevermind better question wheres ditr again

voice;

[doubleoohbaby]

Got any of those that aren't flavoured?

voice;

[irritating]

Yup! Kinda took the whole shelf, there's normal ones in here too. Why, not interested in havin' a fruity cock or what?

video

[highhealplz]

Oh, hey, that's great! We're definitely low on condoms, they've been a pretty low priority while we were up here. We don't have much set up down there though, so leaving them in the base clinic is fine.

video

[irritating]

Well maybe now that everyone's cold as fuck they'll find some more use in 'em, yeah? But hey how's that goin' though, you guys buildin' a snow fort clinic or what?

Video; Private (eyyy)

[hellosailor]

[It takes him a bit, but he eventually figures out how to send a video to just one person, which means that red-head is greeted by a face full of mustache. Sully looks fairly amused, face in his palm. Foul-mouthed women were something of a weakness of his.]

Flavored? The future is a beautiful thing. I hope you're not donating all of those to the clinic. 'Tis the season for giving, after all.

Video; Private

[irritating]

[ She has no idea how private things work either, so honestly it's probably an accident or a miracle that she's even managed to copy the private encryption of his first message. Hearing what he has to say, Apollo smiles at him. ]

Naw, took the whole shelf so I got extra to spare. Least I don't think I'm goin' through forty odd whatever the fuck I got here boxes before my next supply run, so hey, happy to spread the love n' all.

video;

[transuniversal]

Flavored prophylactics are the sort of thing that could only ever be invented on Earth with all the peculiar complexities of human sexual behavior.

[Like holy shit human sex and sexuality is so astoundingly confusing and wonderful, why didn't the Kree get flavored condoms?

Oh right, they don't have any sense of fun. Well, more for him.]

It's really great. Also, if you're volunteering to give some out, I'll find a use for them.

[He definitely means exactly what that sounds like.]

video;

[irritating]

[ The first part there kinda flies over her head, but she definitely understands the rest of it. ]

Well, sounds like someone's already inspired. They do spark some pretty creative fuckin' ideas, huh?

[Audio]

[strategic_guile]

Did you knock off a sex shop? [Snorting laugh.]

Berrycock sounds pretty good, but I'm open to trying all the flavors of the rainbow.

[Audio]

[irritating]

Oh fuck me I should do that - but naw, just found the dirty sex corner of some... big wallstore, I dunno.

You want a pack o' these things, then? I got so many of 'em right now that even I ain't gonna run out before I do another run.