three; video

[irritating]

[ Hi so here's a video of this asshole sitting on the floor of her moonbase room, looking... messily festive. She's got a few strings of silver tinsel randomly wrapped around her head and shoulders, a string of blinking, multi coloured lights hanging over her wings, and there appears to be a snowman sticker stuck to her cheek. ]

Right so I've been packin' shit up and I realized I never said hey fuck you guys like I should've, so hey fuck you guys, especially you Earthy folk 'cause not a single one of you fucks told me about department stores. I mean fuckin' come on, look at all the shit they have -

[ She tilts the camera to the floor around her and wow yeah she sure has been robbing Walmarts. Actually you can't even see the floor itself, it's just... stuff, literally everywhere, with barely a thing in her suitcase (which still has all the tags on it) that's just laying there among the pile, open and abandoned. Apollo then sets the tablet back down on the bed so she can once again have her hands free. ]

Hey by the way, Donny and medfriends, got the shit you wanted. Got uh, little hammered there for a bit and I mighta temporarily lost the damn bag I put it all in but I got it again! You assholes still on the moon or didya take off to snowland already? And actually y'know what, speakin' of snowland, I'm gonna be real sweet and letcha haaaaave [ rustle rustle ] some of these too! [ Is that a box of flavoured condoms she's holding up right now, wow it sure is. ] Kinda figure it's cold as balls down there so hey, how 'bout some fruity humpin' to keep everyone warm? Like fuck you got uh, let's see. [ Reading from the back and adding her own embellishments: ] Grapedick? Sure! Bananadong? No problem! Berrycock? Gotcha fuckin' covered! [ God she looks so pleased with life right now. ] What a fuckin' world Earth is, hey?



By hey seriously it looks really goddamn cold down there and Metalhead ate the gloves I stole, anyone wanna help a tropical girl out and gimme somethin' to keep my fingers from freezin' the fuck off?

Comments

[irritating]

Ce Monde's the name of it, but yeah no only one asshole here's ever heard of it. [ shrug ]

Kinda the opposite of a new habit, what with my bein' raised by pirates an' all. Only it ain't just marketplaces, it's kinda everythin' else too.

[hellosailor]

That pirate thing wasn't a joke? Well then, you're the prettiest pirate I've ever seen. You know how to sail, or do you guys use space ships or something?

[Sully's experience with pirates was not positive, for the most part. They could be useful, they could also fuck you six ways to Sunday with a smile on their face. But he had a soft-spot for old-timey pirates. And Nate's obsession with his privateer ancestor didn't help things any.]

[irritating]

[ Clearly she loves being complimented, because she's smiling again the second he calls her pretty. ] Honeybee, I'm the prettiest pirate a lotta men've ever seen. [ And clearly she's not exactly modest, either. She laughs. ]

Normal ships for everyone but my old crew, 'cause we had the only workin' skyship until Cap'n crashed her into the damn ground.

[hellosailor]

I don't doubt it. [It would be an easy compliment to pay even if she wasn't pretty as a penny. Pirates tended to be a filthy pack of strays, in his experience.]

Bad luck there, it sounds like.

[irritating]

[ Honestly most pirates are filthy strays where she comes from too, she pretty much just cleans up well. ]

Yeah, we had bad luck by the fuckload for a while there. But whatever, bygones and shit I dunno, I'm kinda alright hangin' 'round here for now.

[hellosailor]

Yeah? I guess it's not like we've really got a choice. It's good you're making the best of it.

[irritating]

Y'learn to just fuckin' go with it after a while. How 'bout you huh, you findin' any fun 'round here or what?

[hellosailor]

Hoping to.

[It's enigmatic to an extent. He's starting to get an idea, but for now it's pretty hazy]

They've got bars, that's something. But it's cold as a witches tit so it's not so much for fun as it is survival.

[irritating]

Just hopin'?

Well hey I dunno, survival can be fun too sometimes if you do it right.

[hellosailor]

So far. I've got to talk to some people.

[She got a sharp grin for that] I'm guessing you have a lot of experience in doing it right.

[irritating]

Hopefully you get talkin' before y'get too bored over there then.

[ Annnd she's grinning back at him, she's so delighted right now. ] Good guess. Lotta experience under my belt, in a buncha different ways, so yeah. You could definitely say I'm pretty good at doin' it right.

[hellosailor]

Ahhh, I'm sure I can find something to entertain myself.

You'll have to teach me some tricks. I've learned a few, but it never hurts to add something to the repertoire. [The pronunciation is butchered, but still recognizable]

[irritating]

I'm sure you will too!

Aw of course sugar, always happy to share some of my tricks with someone who wants to see 'em! I'm sure at least some of 'em are good enough that you ain't ever gonna forget, so yeah, you'll find somethin' worthwhile to add to the collection.

[hellosailor]

Well then, it's a date. [He throws in a wink to go with it]

[irritating]

Perfect! Guessin' you're planetside already, huh? There a place down there I can find you sometime?

[hellosailor]

I am, but I'm not set-up anywhere just yet. Gimme a jingle when you head down and I'll meet you at the halfway house they've got set up.

[Even if he was set up he probably wasn't going to go blabbing his address right away. Honor among thieves only went so far.]

[irritating]

There's a halfway house down there? [ She sounds more curious than anything else, really. ] Whatever yeah, that works.

[ Honestly she doesn't care where he lives anyway so it's all good - as long as she can meet with him someplace that's indoors and out of the cold she's happy. ]

[hellosailor]

Oh you know, where they drop you off. They've got a little space until they shove you out into the cold.

[He wasn't fond of it but at least it was where people passed through. And with the transporter there it was busy enough.]

[irritating]

At least they ain't dumpin' us straight into a snowbank right from the get go? I dunno that's somethin', I guess.

[hellosailor]

Nahh [He doesn't bother to keep the laughter out of his voice] they let you know they aren't going to give you any money or supplies and that they've got no room for you before they push you out to fend for yourself.

[irritating]

Not a fuckin' problem, fendin' for myself's kinda what I do so I ain't worried! I'll build my own damn shelter if I have to, whatever.

[hellosailor]

Sure would be nice to hit up a bar though. Drinking alone ain't quite the same. Getting a job sounds like a real crock of shit to me.

[irritating]

You tellin' me there ain't any bars around, or you sayin' you just don't wanna go alone? [ As for the idea of getting a job, well, she's just sort of laughing to herself about it. Pfft, jobs. ]

[hellosailor]

Bit of the second. Mostly though I don't have any cash. I just rolled in a few months ago with the clothes on my back [not the clothes he's currently wearing, which he's swiped on their supply run] and not much else. Gonna have to go time hopping at this rate.

[irritating]

Tellya what then; find us a bar, I'll go with you, and I'll drink you under the table, sound good? [ It sort of sounds like she's kidding, but she really does have a crazy alcohol tolerance. ] But yeah, time hoppin' supply runs are what's been keepin' me goin' for a while now.