three; video

[irritating]

[ Hi so here's a video of this asshole sitting on the floor of her moonbase room, looking... messily festive. She's got a few strings of silver tinsel randomly wrapped around her head and shoulders, a string of blinking, multi coloured lights hanging over her wings, and there appears to be a snowman sticker stuck to her cheek. ]

Right so I've been packin' shit up and I realized I never said hey fuck you guys like I should've, so hey fuck you guys, especially you Earthy folk 'cause not a single one of you fucks told me about department stores. I mean fuckin' come on, look at all the shit they have -

[ She tilts the camera to the floor around her and wow yeah she sure has been robbing Walmarts. Actually you can't even see the floor itself, it's just... stuff, literally everywhere, with barely a thing in her suitcase (which still has all the tags on it) that's just laying there among the pile, open and abandoned. Apollo then sets the tablet back down on the bed so she can once again have her hands free. ]

Hey by the way, Donny and medfriends, got the shit you wanted. Got uh, little hammered there for a bit and I mighta temporarily lost the damn bag I put it all in but I got it again! You assholes still on the moon or didya take off to snowland already? And actually y'know what, speakin' of snowland, I'm gonna be real sweet and letcha haaaaave [ rustle rustle ] some of these too! [ Is that a box of flavoured condoms she's holding up right now, wow it sure is. ] Kinda figure it's cold as balls down there so hey, how 'bout some fruity humpin' to keep everyone warm? Like fuck you got uh, let's see. [ Reading from the back and adding her own embellishments: ] Grapedick? Sure! Bananadong? No problem! Berrycock? Gotcha fuckin' covered! [ God she looks so pleased with life right now. ] What a fuckin' world Earth is, hey?



By hey seriously it looks really goddamn cold down there and Metalhead ate the gloves I stole, anyone wanna help a tropical girl out and gimme somethin' to keep my fingers from freezin' the fuck off?

Comments

[irritating]

[ Hey man she might you don't know!! In any case once she gets the room number, she's up and walking around with her tablet as she heads to FREE STUFF. ]

How much suitin' up we talkin' here? Are my tits gonna freeze off I don't got myself covered to the neck or what?

[charming_jerk]

Nah, I mean, it's bad, but I don't think the cold's any worse as anythin' I've been in back home durin' winter. Night's pretty shitty, but the real problem is the snow. There's a lot of it, big ass snow banks, and it blows everywhere on everythin'. So ya gotta stay dry.

[irritating]

So that's a normal fuckin' winter for you? [ she still can't decide if she's excited about this or not, but either way damn she is not used to this snow bullshit ] Ugh fuck, you guys gettin' any sun durin' the day down there at least?

[charming_jerk]

Not that amount 'a snow, no. We still got, like, seasons where I'm from. And yeah, we actually are gettin' sunlight, which is good. So bring some sunglasses too.

[irritating]

We got seasons too, just not snow. Least not this much damn snow, anyway. But sun's good, fuck almighty I could use some sun, artificial lighting on the moon ain't exactly the same, y'know?

[charming_jerk]

Oh yeah, I know. That's half the reasons I was leavin' on so many supply runs. Livin' on that base... fuckin' depressing, man. Too confined, too. Never thought I'd miss that old rainy city.

[irritating]

Kinda makes you feel grounded, yeah?

[ Alright here we go, she's found his room annnnd in she goes, setting the tablet down and going about LOOKING THROUGH EVERYTHING. ] Wow, you really did do a lotta supply runs, huh?

[charming_jerk]

Yeah. We got a lotta people here, so we need a lotta stuff. It goes fast. Plus, it ain't like I had a whole lot else to do, y'know?

[irritating]

Well ain't you sweet, lookin' out for everyone an' all.

[ She's a bit distracted now as she digs through his stuff, finding a pair of boots she likes and just sort of. Rolling around on the floor tugging her normal boots off and trying on the more winter appropriate ones. Only she's got the tablet set on a surface so the video pretty much just shows random limbs flailing about at this point. ] Ooooh, nice! Shit these are warm. And furry!

[charming_jerk]

Oh yeah, I'm a real angel.

I figured it was a good idea to get some really good stuff, right? Stuff that's gonna last awhile so we don't have to do as many trips for supplies. So I got the warmest, furriest shit I could find.

[irritating]

[ When she pops back on the screen she's wearing a hat and a scarf, and also the furriest boots she could find even though he can't see them anymore. ]

Yeah? That why y'got cute little horns instead of a halo? [ She teasing of course, Apollo's delighted with her new winter gear. ]

[charming_jerk]

I'm workin' undercover. Don't tell no one. [He smirks.] There, ya got everythin' ya need now? Ya can tell other people it's there. The more people take for themselves is less I gotta haul down here later.

[irritating]

Oooo, your secret's safe with me! [ If it was an actual secret it totally wouldn't though. ] Yeah I think so! Oh wait no what's that- [ Whoops there she goes again. She's just gonna wiggle herself into that nice looking parka over there and take an extra pair of gloves don't mind her. ]