( patrol 001 ) ♑ ( voice )

[defending]

First things first - Initiative? Really? Come on, couldn'tcha be at least a little original? I mean I'm having a serious case of been there, done that. And for the record? Not really looking forward to doing it again. I've had the tour, I've seen the shinies - and I'll say again. Not interested. Opposite of interested. Me and freaky government strongholds go way back. We had a very hot and heavy relationship, but we're seeing other people now, and both of us are better for it. So, second thing? If you could just, you know - help a girl out and point me toward the nearest exit? That'd be real peachy. Failing that? I'm not your strong-arm. You can't control me. Don't even try.

[ It sounds like she's done, but then there's rustling, and she comes back. ]

Oh, neat um -- neat weapon thingy. By the way. Looks like it might be stolen tech from someone very unsavory. But you almost had me drooling. I'm watching you.

Comments

[bikininspector]

[He slides into the seat across from her]

Standard issue for my friends, I'll get you one.

[defending]

Ooh, you just keep getting more and more exciting. Baddie-killing experience and you come with free hardware.

[bikininspector]

I can make a mean cup of coffee, too.

[defending]

I take it that's a promise of future more-coffee-drinking.

[bikininspector]

Can't be expected to fight baddies decaffinated, can you.

[defending]

You'd be surprised by the lack of caffeine I get on patrol. But a mocha never hurt anyone.

[bikininspector]

-- must be part of your superpower thing, I've been living on triple red eyes since I was ten.

[defending]

Or an I-have-to-take-care-of-a-bunch-of-teenage-girls-who-might-be-Slayers-someday-and-pay-the-bills-and-take-care-of-my-little-sister-because-my-dad-lives-in-Europe-with-his-secretary-and-my-mom's-dead-while-saving-the-world... thing.

[bikininspector]

Yeah -- no idea how you do it without caffeine. Or...at all.

[defending]

Have to. Don't have a choice.

[bikininspector]

No there's a choice.

[He looks down at his hands]

Trust me, my dad took another one. [Credit card schemes. Leaving his kids with hunters he's known for days or less.]

[defending]

There's not a choice. Not for the Slayer. I'm the only one capable of protecting them. The entire world. It's only me.

[ Wait, what - ] ... Like what?

[bikininspector]

Like...stealing money instead of earning it, for one.

[It's a little too soon for the whole sob story.]

[defending]

But -- why? I mean, I know there's no salary for saving the world, but... He had kids. Has? Kids? [ she has no idea about your generation gap or anything ] My mom would kick your dad's ass for that.

[bikininspector]

My dad's ass should be kicked for plenty of things. [He shakes his head with half a smile. The suspicion that his father may no longer be with them keeps eats away at him, but he pushes it back.

Can't deal with that, not on top of everything else.]

I got disowned for going to college.

[defending]

You got disowned for -- [ Buffy is incredulous and... Suddenly doesn't like your dad much. ] Why? Because you dared to get out of a life that -- [ Just. Disgusted. ] I'd kick your dad's ass.

[bikininspector]

[Oh normal reactions -- that's such a relief to be around someone who sees his side of things. Dean just got mad at him too, and frankly that hurt a hell of a lot more than losing dad.]

Yeah, only in my family can you be considered a screw up for going to Stanford.

[defending]

My mom would have - [ Been so proud. All Joyce wanted was for Buffy to get out of Sunnyhell. She has to stop so she doesn't get choked up. Her eyes drop. ] I hope you were proud of yourself anyway. Getting out... That had to feel amazing.

[bikininspector]

Yeah it did. Didn't stick for long, but they were the best couple years of my life.

[He shakes his head and flags the waiter over]

Alright that's enough sob stories for now - let's get caffeinated and uh - if you want something to eat, it's on me.

[He can't keep concentrating on that because thinking of how happy he was there, how happy he was with Jess...he can't break in front of a total stranger. Winchesters are strong. They don't break. And right now, he feels like a gentle breeze could smash him to pieces.]

[defending]

Why didn't it stick? [ Because who believes in boundaries?

Buffy frowns, brow creasing heavily. ]

Hey. It's not a sob story. It's a story. Part of your history and who you are, and if we're gonna talk baddies, we may as well talk about how they've ruined our collective lives. And, you're sweet, but -- I pay for my own food. Besides, I'm not that hungry. But I'll totally let you buy the mocha.

[bikininspector]

[It reminds him of the way Jess got, when he achieved something big and couldn't call home. When he was feeling down and she didn't know why but guessed.

And it hurts.

So of course, he shakes it off with half a strained smile, that immediately slides right off.]

I lost someone. [When the waiter approaches, he's like a different person, offering a smile as he orders his coffee and a salad. A smile that never quite reaches his eyes. But then, none of his smiles have in a long time.]

[defending]

Oh. [ Now she feels rude for having asked, because clearly it was a little more intrusive than planned. She fusses with the sleeves of her shirt under the table and worries at the inside of her cheek for a moment before putting back the facade of invulnerability and strength, because clearly he needs it more than she does. ] I'm sorry. About -- whoever it was that you lost. It's tough. This life, the way [ SHUT UP, SUMMERS. SHUT UP. Stop being Anya for a second. She shuts up entirely as Sam makes the order, then turns her attention back to him. ] -- are you okay?

[bikininspector]

[Is he ok? Of course not. For a second he considers lying but if she's in this life - if she has the dreams -

he needs to give to get, right?]

Not really. Remember I told you hunters don't have powers, aside for my crazy psychic thing? That's when it started. I dreamed about her death and I didn't believe it, I didn't do anything about it and...now she's gone. She wasn't a part of it, she didn't even know anything supernatural exists in the world. I was supposed to protect her from all of that, and I...didn't.

[He can't even look her in the eye as he says all of it. But it's needed to get to what he really wants to hear about - her dreams. Her visions. Is it the same...]

[defending]

[ Wow. So. Wow. Okay. She wasn't expecting all of that. Most of her dreams involve... Well. Her. Herself. Her own dying. Not someone else's. Not usually. She rakes a hand through her hair before settling her elbows on the table, leaning against it, one hand propping her chin up. ]

Prophecies aren't easy to avert. I mean -- most of the time, you can't. Or, if you think you can, you just... Live through it anyway. The same ends are met no matter what the means. Some things, you just can't control. The outcome might not be exactly what you think, but -- and I'm not trying to say it was -- destined for her to die, or anything, but even if you had taken your dreams seriously... [ She's trying to not word vomit all the wrong things here. ]

It's not your fault. The things that evil does in this world, my world, all worlds... It's driven by something deeper than any of us can ever hope to understand. No matter how close you are to it. You can't blame yourself.

[bikininspector]

You can avert it, if you try hard enough. If I'd have been there - maybe I could have done something. Or at least kept her from dying alone and terrified out of her mind.

[Jess's last moments haunt his nightmares and his waking moments. He hears her scream in his head, sees her beautiful face twisted in fear and agony - and always her body pinned to the ceiling, the blood, the fire...

He closes his eyes for a moment, forcing the tears back.]

I should have been there for her, and I wasn't. And that's just fact.

[He shakes his head; this isn't therapy hour no matter how much he needs it.] Your dreams - did they start when you were - called? What are they like?