( patrol 001 ) ♑ ( voice )

[defending]

First things first - Initiative? Really? Come on, couldn'tcha be at least a little original? I mean I'm having a serious case of been there, done that. And for the record? Not really looking forward to doing it again. I've had the tour, I've seen the shinies - and I'll say again. Not interested. Opposite of interested. Me and freaky government strongholds go way back. We had a very hot and heavy relationship, but we're seeing other people now, and both of us are better for it. So, second thing? If you could just, you know - help a girl out and point me toward the nearest exit? That'd be real peachy. Failing that? I'm not your strong-arm. You can't control me. Don't even try.

[ It sounds like she's done, but then there's rustling, and she comes back. ]

Oh, neat um -- neat weapon thingy. By the way. Looks like it might be stolen tech from someone very unsavory. But you almost had me drooling. I'm watching you.

Comments

[bikininspector]

[Someone she loved was killed, right in front of her. His fingers curl up and clench into fists so tight they lose any hint of color.]

That would drive anyone off the deep end. I'm glad though - that she managed to get out of it.

[defending]

[ Buffy sees it and she doesn't resist the compulsion to reach across the table and give that clenched fist a very firm squeeze. No words necessary. It's gonna be okay. ]

So are we. I think she'd like you, if she were here. But... It's just me. So. [ How to change focus? ]

So what about your dreams? How bad are they?

[bikininspector]

[His lips curl up for half a moment, but he can't really make it stick and hasn't the energy to try. He's so sick of pretending, and she doesn't seem to want that of him.

It's refreshing.]

Who knows, maybe I'll get to meet her. [People show up randomly, after all.]

I see people dying. Vividly. Haven't seen the apocalypse yet but I think there're still a couple years left for that. Guess I'll dream that too when it's time. I get a very short head start, most times I don't even manage to make it in town before the first death.

[Say it all at once, only way to get it over with.]

[defending]

You might. If this place has a terrible sense of humor, it'll drag her here. If there's anyone more qualified than me to find exits on crazy future tech it's Willow.

[ She will never expect any differently of a person than to be who they are, especially in this sort of situation.

She drinks in the answer to what should have been a mostly simple question. No, nothing is ever simple. Ever. It's always complicated. And this is even worse. ]

That's awful. But you do all you can. Even if you can't save everyone, and you can't - it's impossible. Okay? But even if you can't, you're saving someone. And maybe the world. And that's good. You're important. Clearly. But life happens even before you have to face the bumps in the night. You just have a leg up on the competition because you're all precoggy.

[bikininspector]

Oh believe me. It does. [He takes a long sip of his coffee before putting it down. She needs to know what to expect, to be ready.]

There are these mandatory missions - no one really knows why, but sometimes they decide to ship us all off. Pretty sure they're hiding something here when they do but I haven't managed to stay behind to confirm it yet. Anyway in these missions...maybe because of the strain on the transporter, maybe because they do something to it...things tend to go wrong. It turned me 12 once. Last time people wound up in the wrong bodies. So far it's been fixable but -

[Who knows what'll happen next. He chooses not to answer her optimism; logically he knows he can't save everyone. But it still kills him to fail.

Why have visions if he can't change them?]

[defending]

Oh, good. More to look forward to. Guess I'll just sign my life away now. Sure, send me to some crazy place at the age of two. I'll be real useful with a prehensile tai-- actually, yknow? That might not be too bad. Upside down Buffy. Could end badly for the other guy.

[ she takes notice of the change of subject, but they just met so for now - ONLY FOR NOW - she'll let it drop. ]

So we figure it out and we beat it. Just like everything else. We're fighters. People like us don't sit back and take it. Right?

[bikininspector]

Right. Except I stupidly passed on futuristic technology in college - see this is what you get for thinking come on when will I use that in real life.

[And he appreciates it. His nerves are shot as it is.]

[defending]

That's okay, I was the same way with French. But I never got to finish school. World to save.

[bikininspector]

Yeah, me neither.

[Love of life to avenge.] I did get a little bit of Spanish under my belt though.

[defending]

Spanish I could never get down. I barely handled French. And by barely, I mean really... Not... that much at all.

[bikininspector]

I've yet to have a problem with English here but if you need a translator - I'm confident in my ability to say you don't speak Spanish.

[defending]

[ She snorts. ] I'll keep that in mind. There could be a 'rescue me, they're foreign' signal.

[bikininspector]

Beam a giant sombrero in the sky and I'll come look for you.

[defending]

[ Sam will now witness the spectacular feat of Buffy's hands coming to cover her face because she snort-laughs and coffee is coming out of her nose and it's all very embarrassing. She can't respond right now.

There's coffee.

Exiting her nose. ]

[bikininspector]

[Well that's certainly infectious - and it feels good. He can't remember when he last just laughed over a dumb joke like that.]

[defending]

[ She can't really breathe, because she's laughing too hard, but she drops one hand and flails around for a napkin to bring up to her face and wipe away the lost coffee. Because wow what an embarrassing moment. To have when meeting someone for the first time. This is not how life should go. ]

Sorry -- just -- sombre-- - [ Nope, more gigglefits. ]

[bikininspector]

[He isn't really laughing quite that hard but rather than thinking she's embarrassing herself, he's enjoying seeing her that gleeful.

Hey, it's kinda cute even.

His own laughter calms down into an easy smile.]

It'll either mean foreigners ahoy, or a fiesta - either way it'll get you help.

[defending]

I'll go out and buy my one of a kind holographic sombrero launcher as soon as we're done here. [ What a clown good thing she already likes your stupid face, Francis. :| ]

[bikininspector]

Don't be too shocked if you actually find one - there're some damn weird things to buy around here.

[Oh come on, you like him for the jokes. Who doesn't like a man who can make her squirt stuff out of her nose?]

[defending]

If I find something that specific, I'm going to start suspecting they have psychics on their staff. Or whatever it is they have. In their forces? What would you call it?

[bikininspector]

Never really thought about it -- but if they can manipulate time and space minds should be a walk in the park for them.

[defending]

I'll pass on brain invasion. There has to be some place we can put in complaints.

[bikininspector]

I've been saying they need a suggestion box - nobody's listening.

[defending]

See, and that's why they need one! Why don't we just make it ourselves? Put it outside the apartments, where everybody'll see it.

[bikininspector]

Making it'll be easy enough but you gotta get someone to read it, take it seriously and take action.


Not loving our odds with kidnappers.