[001 | Video]

[acemedium]

[Oh hello there, Exsilium, have the face of a bright-eyed girl that looks way too excited to be here. It seems after much technology abuse and generally failing at turning it on, she finally gets the video working! Success for a failure]

Don't worry, fellow kidnapped people of Exhelium! [That's 'Exsilium', Maya] You don't have to explain everything, I've got it aaaaaall figured out. In fact, I'm an Ace Explainer myself, so just sit back and let me break it down for you, Maya-style!

We're in future England! [This is probably the only fact she's gotten right, but-] Brought here by the United Earth people because they're being oppressed by the Initiative! [And then there's a pause for some very Deep and Philosophical Thoughts. ...Not.] ... I bet it's the tea. England's known for its tea, you know? Anyone would be jealous of that selection!

... But anyway, we've been brought here because we've got to go into the future to change the past! It's just like that movie with Mikey K. Box, except with tea on the line as well as time! [WHAT WAS IT CALLED AGAIN..... Oh, well]

But more importantly than all of that.... I have a question. [SUDDENLY SERIOUS? Look, she's even leaning into the camera all dramatically] A question that will change the fate of the entire world! [Whatever's left of it] Well, mostly me right now, but for everyone's sake, I need an answer!

[There's a long, long pause as she stares intently into the camera. And then:]

Where's the nearest burger joint? I'm starved! And if we're really in the future they must have invented a way for burgers to be even more delicious! Right?

[... And then there's a brief flash of embarrassment, and when she continues she's a little more low-key] ... Um, and how do I get to the housing place? Unit... 406, I think?

Comments

video;

[hardbody]

I don't think that's quite right.

video; omg Zel!!

[acemedium]

No, it definitely is! I investigated and everything! [Don't mind her if she peers really curiously at her video, also.]

video

[gorillawarfare]

....When you talk I feel like topics are a ping pong ball and the paddles are your attention span.

video

[acemedium]

My attention span is awesome! [No, it really isn't] I focused on the most important thing!

[Burgers, obviously]

video;

[undeadarmies]

I... don't think we're fighting over tea.

video;

[acemedium]

The truth can be hard to swallow sometimes, but I'd never steer you wrong! And some tea is just that good!

permavideo 1/?

[ex_bandai157]

[ r u forreal ]

[ex_bandai157]

[ SIIIGH ]

I'm sure it's already been said, but you'd benefit from hearing the explanation one more time.

[ Or ten more times. ]

[ex_bandai157]

[ Oh wait man a serious question - ]

[ex_bandai157]

[ ...burgers. ]

[ex_bandai157]

[ex_bandai157]

[ Well at least she's not his problem. ]

[ex_bandai157]

[ Wait a minute. ]

DONE

[ex_bandai157]

Did you say Unit 406?

[whatsupcroc]

Hahaha, you totally walked out of the apartments, didn't you? But hey! At 406, that makes you a neighbor! Though burgers do sound pretty great about now... So what's your name? Maya? Like the Mayans?

1/3

[acemedium]

[This is probably what happened, yes]

No way! It was just.. um, a sneak attack! Trying to confuse me! But I won't be fooled!

audio;

[onewaytrip]

I don't think the taste of food is a priority of the Initiative.

Or tea.

audio;

[acemedium]

Why wouldn't it be? We're in England, aren't we?

And burgers! [She says this like it explains everything]

video

[healplz]

[ oh my god allow him to just
sort through all this nonsense. with a deep and longsuffering inner sigh. ]

I would be pleased to show you to the housing, if you've not found your answer from another yet.

video

[acemedium]

[Poor Ashraf]

[But wow, it's someone actually being both nice and helpful! This is a new and exciting development for Maya, and so]

Really? You would?

video;

[district7]

[Giving you the most judging stare, little girl.]

Are you brain damaged or something?

video;

[acemedium]

[WOW RUDE!!!! Rude ladies get cheeks puffed at them.]

J-Just what is that supposed to mean?!

1/2

[payback]

[Wow. Is this girl a universal constant or something?

A dumb universal constant.]

voice;

[payback]

If we have casualties of war, I bet you'll be the first to go.

video

[beingrepressed]

[Trying not to laugh too much on this end.]

Yes, that's... That's exactly right.

Seems like you've got everything under control.

video

[acemedium]

[Finally someone who appreciates her B(]

Of course! I am an ace, after all!

video;

[tequilaselai]

[omg maya r u for real]

Where... did you get all this information from, exactly? [sob she's not sure she wants to know, though.] Oh, and it's Exsilium.

video;

[acemedium]

[Yes. Yes she is. Also guuuurl what are you wearing, she is tilting her head at that mask]

I'm sorry, I can't reveal my top secret sources! I'm a professional, you know.

That's what I said. [No, Maya. It really isn't]

video;

[sacrificar]

Your information is remarkably inaccurate.

[hi, she's dead. how you doing?]

video;

[acemedium]

[Aw yea, dead people, her specialty]

That's just what they want you to think!

video;

[hellodeadpeople]

[ wut. whatever, rolling with it. ]

Yeah, it's totally the tea. Initiative fuckers stole it.

video;

[acemedium]

[Excellent, smithers]

Are you a bad enough dude to get it back!?

video; WOW so late please forgive me

[transgressed]

[Deadpan:] Yeah, kid. You've got it all figured out.

[But her tone gets a little curious:] What's a "burger?"

video; no forgive me for my lateness sob 1/2

[acemedium]

I knew you'd see things my way! [Is the sarcasm actually going over her head or is she just playing around? WHO KNOWS]

/slips in late

[anomaliiiiies]

Did anyone help with the burger joint? Or directions to your apartment?

I'n the latest 8(

[acemedium]

Well, someone's coming to help me with the apartment, but--

.... Do you know where one is?!