Video

[maddeninghatter]

[ Squeak squeak squeak squeaksqueak squeak squeeeeeeak. ]

People just love having pets, don't they~? ♥

[ Xerxes Break is in the marketplace, broadcasting as he walks along. The picture is wobbling up and down with each step. People who tend towards motion sickness might wish to look away. ]

Unconditional adoration from a constant companion--

WHO DOESN'T CARE HOW PATHETIC YOU ARE!

[ This last outburst seems to have come from the blonde, blue-skinned, horribly-grinning doll on Break's shoulder. He chides her, waggling his finger: ]

Now, now Emily. One mustn't blurt out the truth like that, people don't like it. As I was saying, a pet is a maaaaaaarvelous thing, isn't it? Always with you, underfoot, getting in your way, knocking against your shins, and being utterly and completely...

[ Squeak squeak squeak squeak. ]

--ah, haha! Well anyway, it's worth it, all that bother, in exchange for the warm feelings you get, right? Alas, alack and well-a-day, I have no time for such things, so I thought perhaps I'd offer my pet up for adoption.

[ Now the camera angle tilts, to show off Break's "pet": it's a little red wagon, following him through the marketplace, moving entirely on its own accord. One of its wheels has a high-pitched, persistent, eardrum-drilling… squeak. ]

I can't give him away for free, of course, but I'm willing to entertain all reasonable offers. I simply want to see him in a gooooood home, that is to say--

[ SQUEAK! ]

--not mine!

Comments

video;

[forks]

[Forget the rest of the post; her attention went straight to that wagon. Which, honestly, even for a girl who is so-called "good" with weird, is a strange sight. But as for all strange things she comes across, Bella is curious.]

Did that just... move?

video;

[maddeninghatter]

Why, hello my dear~♥

[ Break smiles happily at the camera (he knows where it is, having experimented with his tablet quite a lot when he had borrowed Madoka's body, not so long ago) and waves, wiggling his fingers. ]

Don't call him "that," it's ruuuuuude. Anyway - yes! He followed me home, that makes him my pet, right?

video;

[forks]

[She can't lie, this is difficult logic to follow. Aside from the fact that she doesn't know how this works in the first place... how can you consider something a pet that isn't alive?

(Although, on the other hand, vampires aren't technically alive, so to speak, either, and they're walking around...)]

I'm sorry. [And she sounds like she does mean it] It's just... [.... a wagon?]

video;

[velveteened]

No it doesn't!

video;

[motioned]

Why would you want to get rid of it? That's so cool, it's following you and everything!

video;

[maddeninghatter]

[ A particularly piercing squeak, enough to make your teeth hurt. He cringes for just an instant; then he's all smiles again. ]

Lonely, desperate people in need of friends would love a pet like this one. There's got to be lots of takers in this city, wouldn't you agree?

video;

[motioned]

But it seems like it really likes you! Giving it to someone else once it's already attached would be mean, don't you think?

[whatsupcroc]

Awh, but he likes you! Take him in for a tune up and you'll be set!

( Moving wagon can't phase me now BUT CAN EXCITE )

[maddeninghatter]

Well, well - isn't that just the problem with pets. Adopt one, and all of a sudden you're stuck with the bill for having it fixed.

[inthejunk]

What the hell is that? It's definitely not a pet.

[maddeninghatter]

Tut, tut, my good man.

[ Floppy-sleeved hand wave. ]

He followed me home, what else would he be?

1/2

[velveteened]

[velveteened]

But she seems to like you so much!

video;

[scienceinacan]

That's a cute wagon.

[ BD ]

video;

[maddeninghatter]

Why, it seems all the ladies - and Oz, but he's an unofficial lady - think so. I might have to rethink letting it go.

[ Very pleasantly: ]

Are you an unofficial lady, too?

voice;

[phaseshifts]

How cute.

voice;

[maddeninghatter]

[ That's a familiar voice. He's fairly certain, however, that the person behind it is different from the one he met. ]

Why - it's Mister Tyki Mikk, right? Are you feeling better? ♥

[voice]

[highfrequency]

You a puppeteer or something?

[voice]

[maddeninghatter]

I specialize in all varieties of entertainment, from making things disappear to pulling strings.

[video]

[nobleminded]

[Okay, he may idolize you, but REALLY?!]

HOW CAN YOU SERIOUSLY CALL THAT A PET?!

[video]

[maddeninghatter]

Oh~?

[ He purses his lips, innocently. ]

What else shall I call a creature that dogs my steps and mindlessly adores me?

video;

[debtor]

[Of all the ridiculous scams— this is definitely a new way to try and palm off a wagon.

You get low marks for effort (it's obviously just attached to a string or something, after all!!), but a solid A for creativity here. Of course Allen's not buying, but he is wondering,]

What's your asking price?

video;

[maddeninghatter]

[ Squeaksqueak squeaaak. ]

Hmm, well, I don't know. People are telling me that it would be cruel to give my little pet up after she's formed an attachment.

[ He strokes his chin, making a show of thinking. And then, brightly: ]

Fortunately, however, I'm not a sentimental idiot~! ☆

I'm willing to entertain any reasonable offer.

[voice]

[itsmagicallydelicious]

A sentient wagon...

[He's just kind of BUH at this whole post, honestly. Then again, he distinctly remembers that being the default state around this guy, even as long ago as they'd last met.

He can't quite help wondering, though.]

What happened?

[voice]

[maddeninghatter]

[ There's a delay before he answers. It should be clear from the lack of ambient noise that he's no longer outside in the market. ]

What happened is an unloveable brat.