exsilium | Video

[ Squeak squeak squeak squeaksqueak squeak squeeeeeeak. ]

People just love having pets, don't they~? ♥

[ Xerxes Break is in the marketplace, broadcasting as he walks along. The picture is wobbling up and down with each step. People who tend towards motion sickness might wish to look away. ]

Unconditional adoration from a constant companion--

WHO DOESN'T CARE HOW PATHETIC YOU ARE!

[ This last outburst seems to have come from the blonde, blue-skinned, horribly-grinning doll on Break's shoulder. He chides her, waggling his finger: ]

Now, now Emily. One mustn't blurt out the truth like that, people don't like it. As I was saying, a pet is a maaaaaaarvelous thing, isn't it? Always with you, underfoot, getting in your way, knocking against your shins, and being utterly and completely...

[ Squeak squeak squeak squeak. ]

--ah, haha! Well anyway, it's worth it, all that bother, in exchange for the warm feelings you get, right? Alas, alack and well-a-day, I have no time for such things, so I thought perhaps I'd offer my pet up for adoption.

[ Now the camera angle tilts, to show off Break's "pet": it's a little red wagon, following him through the marketplace, moving entirely on its own accord. One of its wheels has a high-pitched, persistent, eardrum-drilling… squeak. ]

I can't give him away for free, of course, but I'm willing to entertain all reasonable offers. I simply want to see him in a gooooood home, that is to say--

[ SQUEAK! ]

--not mine!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Interest = piqued.]

"This sort of thing?" What, creating Chains? Or controlling objects that can't control themselves?

Did you not select a weapon when you first arrived here?

Of course I did!

[He just...hasn't taken the time to figure out its weapon properties cause he wasn't considering using it for that when he picked it. Oops.]

Are you saying that thing is a weapon? That's not what you selected, is it?

I selected.

[ ELLIOT PLS ]

I selected a wagon.

As my weapon.

THEY HAD ALL SORTS OF STRANGE OPTIONS!

[He pulls a pair of (oddly frilly) gloves out of his pocket and holds them up.]

These were considered a weapon! I doubted someone like you would make a choice like that, but I can't ignore that it's possible!

[ Totally can't see that, but going on context, he's just going to tilt his head to one side... and make a show of unsuccessfully suppressing a giggle. ]

Strange?

No, no. That's what I'd have expected you to choose, to be honest.

[Well if xerxesbreakfans.net would update with that bit of info, he would totally know! Though he'd probably be the admin of a website that doesn't exist in a world without internet...]

They are? [But they just look like a pair of black and white gloves...]

Oh, I see! Did you inspect these before I found them and see what they can do when you wear them?

[Because THE Xerxes Break would totally be that thorough.]

Why would I do a thing like tha~at? It's completely obvious, right? Anyone could tell from a glance!

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