01 - video

[fourscience]

[The four-eyed alien on the screen is excitedly typing away on her laptop with two hands, and waving two more in excited ways. Because yes, she has four hands and she is making wild gestures to punctuate each and every word she says. She is not going to stop for anything.]

I can’t believe this! Humans are everywhere, this is the most amazingly perfect opportunity! I have been studying humans, of course, but my sample size has been very limited up until now!

Let me review my notes so far- [She taps a few times on her laptop to bring up said notes, rapidly reading over them a few times before she starts talking again]

Humans are a fairly low-tech pre-spaceflight species, not many of them have made it into space! Which is such a shame, they’re a very attractive species, even though they tend to be a bit hairy and don’t have enough eyes. But I haven’t let things like that get in my way before! [She laughs loudly, then continues]

What else, what else- I wish I had my original notes here, I really did! Oh yes- humans are remarkably stubborn, prone to irrationality...and quite a violent species, too, aren’t they? They certainly do love their wars! Only two sexes too, correct? Isn’t that a shame.

I believe that’s where my data ends! I need more, much more to fill out a proper database file. And if any are up for an examination....well, I am a doctor! I need to know how to treat all of you, don’t I?

Oh, I'm so excited to start working! Tell me where I'm needed, please?

Comments

video

[wrexy]

Add nosy and easy to kill.

video

[fourscience]

Yes, and yes. I'm not built for fighting!

[She leans forward to peer at her screen]

Hello! I'm sorry, I don't recognize your species. Mind cluing me in? I'd appreciate it!

Video;

[hungover]

Don't think you're going to be getting a lot of volunteers for examination.

[Hey, doc -- you forgot to mention the paranoia and defensiveness in addition to the violence and irrationality!]

permavid

[fourscience]

That would be such a shame! I'm sure someone will be interested!

[That is merely an oversight my good man!!]

voice;

[whatatool]

Do you get a lot of patients by volunteering to poke and prod them?

Just curious.

permavid

[fourscience]

It's perfectly legitimate. And safe.

Video

[yamaxanadu]

Violent yes, but at the same time they can also be very kind. Individuals are quite varied. I find them rather amazing in their own way.

permavid

[fourscience]

I'm afraid my individual data on humans is very limited! I've only ever met three of them. Until now, of course!

video

[allsongs]

Humans.

[strange creature, you sure said that word a lot. what does it mean? Simmaeri, leaned well toward the screen, is interested in that.

and you, of course. such a face ought to have very interesting things to say...]

permavid

[fourscience]

Yes! I am interested in studying them, now that I have an opportunity.

Video;

[charming_jerk]

Not everyone here's human.

permavid

[fourscience]

I have noticed. There are many species here that I don't recognize.

permavideo;

[onemoredeath]

[ Because this is just so cute despite the odd number of arms and eyes. So say hello to this nice Japanese man. ]

You also forgot to mention that humans come various countries, each of which has it's own views and customs.

permavid

[fourscience]

Oh, yes, my mistake! I've only just begun to study humans, but I remember. Such a varied species!

video;

[doubleoohbaby]

Only two sexes? Dare I even ask?

permavid

[fourscience]

Several other species I have studied have more. Mine included!

[trustycrowbar]

Ah... Who or what you're measuring us against? That's a good place to start.

[fourscience]

Oh. [This question seems to shut her up for a couple seconds, before she grins and continues on]

Well! My own species, and other species I've studied, I suppose! Really, I am just collecting data.

voice

[implying]

[ oops someone is already enchanted ]

I've always thought quite the same of them, to be honest! Hairy and violent as they may be, they do have their charms.

Oh, but tell me— how many sexes are you used to hearing about?

permavid

[fourscience]

[oh my~]

Oh, I can't disagree! I am so very, very fond of the humans I know back home.

Well! My species has three, and Krujali also have three- most of the species I study have two, actually!

video

[healplz]

That sounds... a fair assessment of humans. [ this lady is... a little alarming... BUT IF SHE'S A DOCTOR... ] There is a transport-run clinic here, if you're interested in lending any assistance.

permavid

[fourscience]

Thank you! I have been informed about the clinic, I think I will be making my way there soon.

video;

[fortissimos]

[ lmao what even. ]

... Is all that really necessary?

permavid

[fourscience]

Yes, of course! It is my job to study and catalog every species I encounter. I have to maintain a database!

And humans are my current field of study.

video.

[pantyraid]

Multiple sexes and multiple eyes?! Wow, you guys must be at the top of the food chain!

[ Trucy's (somehow) gotten used to seeing aliens and anthropomorphic animals running about, so seeing one on the feed is no big deal!

Hearing one talk about humans like they're feeble insects is a little surprising, though. She was always taught humans were the *~*~superior race*~~*.. ]

permavid

[fourscience]

On my planet, yes, we are! Humans are at the top of their food chain as well, are they not?

video;

[hardbody]

[holy wow, it's someone with an even more unusual appearance than his own!] You're a little too happy about this.

permavid

[fourscience]

Should I not be? This is a wonderful opportunity for me!

video;

[bratworth]

Why do you even need four eyes?

[ Because. That's weird. ]

permavid

[fourscience]

That is the way we evolved!

[draconic_historian]

Ah, a fellow scholar! Well met.

[fourscience]

Greetings to you as well!

video

[gamora]

I can't see why anyone would want to study them as a whole.

permavid

[fourscience]

Should I not want to? I am a doctor, I need to understand the species I am supposed to be helping.

video;

[twiceadays]

[Shepard gives a wide grin at the notes presented here. You are a strange looking alien, lady. Not something she's ever seen before.] I don't know what humans you know, but I've lived in space practically all my life, and I've traveled to more star systems than I can even count.

permavid

[fourscience]

My data does not account for alternate universes!

video;

[awarlock]

Why humans, if I may ask? In my travels, I've discovered most species find humans uninteresting. Unless the humans in question are being harvested for their genetic potential.

permavid

[fourscience]

I have only ever met three in my lifetime!

I find all species very interesting, I am currently studying humans. Before moving on to others! I've found there are more species here than I am familiar with.

[shamanism]

[Damn, she really does come off as strong. Thrall just stares for a moment with the video feed on. OOPS.]

You have... remarkable enthusiasm. Welcome. Doctors and healers are always needed in matters of war.

permavid

[fourscience]

Thank you! It is good to be enthusiastic about one's job, isn't it?

[She sighs, and glances away from the camera for a moment]

Yes, this is a war. I am not excited about that, at least.

video;

[sacrificar]

They are capable of surprises when least expected.

permavid

[fourscience]

Most people are. Regardless of species.

video;

[bittertears]

[wow.]

You seem a little too excited, if you ask me.

permavid

[fourscience]

I have a lot of work to do! It is only appropriate that I be excited.

[permavideo]

[emomachine]

[what are you]

...You're not human?

permavid

[fourscience]

[She laughs loudly]

No, no! Of course not. I would be a very strange looking human, wouldn't I?

[square_cubelaw]

I think your data is a bit dated, or limited.

Also, what are you and are you sure you should be working on something with a different anatomy from your own?

[fourscience]

My data is as up to date as can be. I do not meet many humans. Up until now.

I am a sa-marad. And I work with aliens often! Humans are not too dissimilar to my species, anatomy-wise. I have worked on stranger species.

video;

[revelation]

Um, well, what kind of an examination? Like checking our height and listening to our heart rate?

... Something like that?

permavid

[fourscience]

Something along those lines would be very helpful, yes!

[She squints at the screen]

Are you fully grown?