01 - video

[fourscience]

[The four-eyed alien on the screen is excitedly typing away on her laptop with two hands, and waving two more in excited ways. Because yes, she has four hands and she is making wild gestures to punctuate each and every word she says. She is not going to stop for anything.]

I can’t believe this! Humans are everywhere, this is the most amazingly perfect opportunity! I have been studying humans, of course, but my sample size has been very limited up until now!

Let me review my notes so far- [She taps a few times on her laptop to bring up said notes, rapidly reading over them a few times before she starts talking again]

Humans are a fairly low-tech pre-spaceflight species, not many of them have made it into space! Which is such a shame, they’re a very attractive species, even though they tend to be a bit hairy and don’t have enough eyes. But I haven’t let things like that get in my way before! [She laughs loudly, then continues]

What else, what else- I wish I had my original notes here, I really did! Oh yes- humans are remarkably stubborn, prone to irrationality...and quite a violent species, too, aren’t they? They certainly do love their wars! Only two sexes too, correct? Isn’t that a shame.

I believe that’s where my data ends! I need more, much more to fill out a proper database file. And if any are up for an examination....well, I am a doctor! I need to know how to treat all of you, don’t I?

Oh, I'm so excited to start working! Tell me where I'm needed, please?

Comments

[wrexy]

You should know we don't need doctors. Especially alien ones.

[fourscience]

You sound very certain of that! Do you self-medicate? How is your immune system?

[wrexy]

[He growls, knowing these doctor types like to lead you intro traps.] I've never been sick.

[fourscience]

Never? Really! Is that an exaggeration?

[wrexy]

[Flatly] Got an incurable genetic disease like the rest of my people, but otherwise I've been peachy.

[fourscience]

Oh! I am sorry, did I ask too much? I do not mean to offend, really!

[She looks away for a moment, expression thoughtful and one hand scratching at her chin]

What kind of disease.

[wrexy]

Do I look like a scientist? I told you.

[fourscience]

You don't know?

[wrexy]

I know better than to explain the intimate details to someone like you.

[fourscience]

Someone like me! You do not know me very well. Yet.

[wrexy]

I know enough.

[fourscience]

I am just curious. If you do not want to tell me, I suppose I can not force you!

[wrexy]

Have fun with that. [And then he hangs up because he's a grumpy old man.]