7;; video

[caligulas_aquarium]

[HOLD EVERYTHING

STOP THE PRESSES

ERIDAN HAS SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO ANNOUNCE]

For those of you unawware of troll culture, wwell, lets face it that's almost all of you. In fact the only ones wwho can appreciate this fully are...twwo of you I guess, since the third one knowws wwhat this is about already, but I'm in a generous mood. I'll explain.

First off I'd like to say that to those of you wwho label me an undesirable troll, I say ha.

Also fuck you.

For you see I just got myself a kismesis. An' before you bastards ask, yes he agreed to it. I'll fuckin' provve it if I havve to.

To those a you not in the knoww, this makes us troll boyfriends, only there's more hate goin' on. Kinda like havvin' a deadly an' vviolent rivvalry but wwith makin' out invvolvved.

[Oh and he grins here.]

An' he's not half-bad at that, if I say so myself.

That's all. You can go back to your livves noww.

[Yep. Make of it what you will initiative, this here is one desperate motherfucker.]

Comments

it's ok! I've been busy with a new job so!

[punk_cute]

Yeah, best for winter, but I figured that I didn't know what summer stuff you liked 'cause I got to know you in the winter so...

[He trails off awkwardly and eventually just sits down next to Eridan.]

So...

What's Sol--Sullux, right?--tryin' to do? And uh, I'm cool with hearin' about the animosity stuff too.

[caligulas_aquarium]

[A huff, and his expression sours.]

Him? The better question is wwhat isn't he tryin' a' do! The guy's out to sabotage my fuckin' life I swwear.

All he does is ruin evverythin'.

[punk_cute]

So does he hate you or something? Er...not in the spade way, I guess.

[Well that was awkward. He doesn't let it slow him down long though. He shakes his head and tries to smile.]

You know, you can't just let him get to you. If he pisses you off and you show him that all the time it encourages him to do it more, you know? If he's the kinda guy who likes pissing people off. So even when he does, don't show him that. Be above it!

[He pauses.]

Uh... sounds easier than it is, probably, but maybe it'll work. I know you can pull it off.

[It sounds more like he hopes rather than knows but he's trying.]

[caligulas_aquarium]

It'd be that fuckin' easy if he wweren't totally turnin' all my friends against me.

It's his fault Fef wwants nothin' to do wwith me. Probably Kar as wwell. Noww I'm losin' a fuckin' quadrant ovver the guy.

I just wwish he'd stay dead once an' for all instead a' this wwhole bullshit respawwn thing.

[punk_cute]

[He's heard things like that before, but he's seen firsthand how hard Eridan tries to blame other things for his relationship failures--isn't that how their whole friendship got started? He wants to help but hell if he knows how. He bites his lip for a moment, staring into his own cup. Finally he decides that he might as well just be honest.]

Wanna tell you want you want to hear. That that guy's just a huge jerk out to sabotage your life. But you can't go on denyin' what you are and sometimes... Eridan, sometimes you're the hugest prick I know.

[He blurts out the rest quickly.]

I ain't gonna leave or stop bein' your friend over it! Just... sometimes you make me wanna just grab you and shake until some sense gets into your head.

[caligulas_aquarium]

[...

Yeah. He'd agree with that.]

Hawe you ewen met the guy? Yellow text? Stupid lisp so he thorta thounds like thith?

He's completely impossible.

[punk_cute]

Yeah, I have. And he responded pretty damn well to me bein' polite an' shit for somebody who's impossible.

Not sayin' he ain't the worst of jerks to you, man, but you probably aren't seeing all sides to 'im. Just like nobody sees all of you either.

[caligulas_aquarium]

Well then I got no damn reason to giwe the guy any leeway if he's gonna continue bein' a complete asshole to me.

It's really fuckin' simple.

[punk_cute]

I used to think like that. You know what it got me?

Nothin' at all. No friends. No chances for anything more. All alone, 'cept for my Ma and even she was always upset and disappointed in me.

Since then I've been tryin' to give people a chance instead of just judgin' before I even really know 'em. Got me some good friends.