7;; video

[caligulas_aquarium]

[HOLD EVERYTHING

STOP THE PRESSES

ERIDAN HAS SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO ANNOUNCE]

For those of you unawware of troll culture, wwell, lets face it that's almost all of you. In fact the only ones wwho can appreciate this fully are...twwo of you I guess, since the third one knowws wwhat this is about already, but I'm in a generous mood. I'll explain.

First off I'd like to say that to those of you wwho label me an undesirable troll, I say ha.

Also fuck you.

For you see I just got myself a kismesis. An' before you bastards ask, yes he agreed to it. I'll fuckin' provve it if I havve to.

To those a you not in the knoww, this makes us troll boyfriends, only there's more hate goin' on. Kinda like havvin' a deadly an' vviolent rivvalry but wwith makin' out invvolvved.

[Oh and he grins here.]

An' he's not half-bad at that, if I say so myself.

That's all. You can go back to your livves noww.

[Yep. Make of it what you will initiative, this here is one desperate motherfucker.]

Comments

[caligulas_aquarium]

[robo-squids what...HE'S GONNA IGNORE THAT...]

See, you still don't get it but you're makin' all these assumptions.

There's an actual sense of attraction to it too you knoww an' a bunch of other factors as wwell. You can't just go into it wwith anyone.

Like if they ain't a good match for you evven combat wwise, it's gonna get borin' if you keep wwinnin' an' it's all one sided.

It has to be excitin'. Passionate. You havve to feel like this person is challengin' the shit out of you evvery moment things're happenin'.

If there's none of that, it's useless an' stale.

[whatatool]

[But they're so cuddly...]

Jokes mostly, but you're pretty much in the same boat here, dude.

Not exactly an expert here, but I'm pretty sure all serious relationships work like that. That you can't just start them up with anyone, I mean. Still doesn't make them healthy, but whatever. This is clearly the norm for alien trolls.

[caligulas_aquarium]

Pretty much.

If you don't fill the red an' black quadrants before you reach a certain age, you get culled.

[whatatool]

And I thought the krogan were a mess.

Do you guys even have one of those romance cullers running around this place?

[caligulas_aquarium]

No, all the imperial drones wwere destroyed.

But it isn't about that; I'm just pursuin' a potential relationship is all.

[whatatool]

And how old are you, exactly?

[caligulas_aquarium]

Six.

[He means sweeps, which is around 13 human years.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUN? CULTURAL MISHAPS.]

[whatatool]

[He's got a pretty good idea how this works, actually. It happens when you're from the space future filled with alien blue beauties.]

So what, that translates to like... Ten?

[caligulas_aquarium]

...

Thirteen.

[whatatool]

You sound pretty serious about it, is all.

[caligulas_aquarium]

They're serious things.

You don't just commit to somethin' like a quadrant wwith anyone you knoww.