exsilium | 1 [Video]

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1 [Video]

[The video feed clicks on to show Heath in his quarters smiling widely at his audience]

Heeeey Exsilumites. Just trying that word out there, I think it works for us. It makes us sound way cooler than 'Transports', don't you think? Transports make us sound like we're, like, smuggled goods or something. Stuffed in some guys suitcase trying to sneak through customs.

[Wait, he had a point to this ramble, didn't he? He clears his throat]

ANYway, I noticed some of you guys have been getting all antsy about the werewolves, so I thought I'd give you some Monster High approved ways of keeping your werewolves happy. Just follow this advice and you shouldn't have to worry about being mauled unless you...you know antagonise them, and if you do that you're pretty much asking to be chewed on.

[He'll hold up a variety of toys to the camera. Squeaky chickens, tennis balls, even a Frisbee]

Now what all werewolves love is to play fetch. They'll chase pretty much anything. If you throw one of these things in the opposite direction you want to go, you can make sure the thing they're chasing isn't you. If you can't get any toys, sticks work too. ...Though I guess you can't get any sticks on the moon, unless there are like moon trees.

Are there moon trees?

[Back to the subject at hand, moon trees aren't important right now]

They also love steaks, so if you guys are heading out collecting stuff to bring back here, you should probably bring steaks. Not stakes. Because that's for a completely different monster and no one wants to encourage that kind of prejudice anyway.

So there you go! Remember that werewolves are just big adorable puppies in their fuzzy hearts and don't annoy them while they're suffering on the moon and everything will be A-OK. This has been a PSA by the Heathster. You've been a great audience!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[What, that ISN'T a balanced diet? But it has ALL the food groups in it! Still, he offers her a smile]

I learned how to make baked Himalaya. [Because she was involved. Extensively. Still, he thinks this is an incredible accomplishment]

[That gets a faint smile.]

Okay, you did. Is proudest achievement at Monster High so far.

[That smile changes into a grin in seconds, off goes that hair again] Wow, really? I know you put a whole lot of work into it but I didn't think it was your proudest achievement. That's really-

[Oh...wait. He should probably tone down the excitement and try to play this cooler]

I mean. That's pretty rad. And with a beauty of a teacher like you, how could I fail?

[Better? Better]

[Her smile vanishes faster than he can blink :T]

Was thinking more along lines of thinking we going to fail assignment because you lack of self-control. Also very clumsy in kitchen.

[WORST EVER]

[He's unbothered by her bluntness as always, giving a shrug]

Well, that's true. Dad says the same thing all the time. But hey, that apple in the ice trick worked great. [Because he saw how upset she was getting and didn't want to let her down, but he;s sure not going to say THAT part out loud]

And I'm very clumsy everywhere. It's a skill.

Yes. Almost did not think you could do it, but proved me wrong in end.

Perhaps should learn better skills. [That's said pretty matter-of-factly; she crosses her arms and just stares at him... icily... cuz that's what she does, ok]

Well, I did have a gorgeous ghoul to try and get it right for.

[He'll see that icy look and up with with an eyebrow waggle]

You got any suggestions?

[She's still staring at him pretty blankly.] Tch.

Thinking you continue the working on of self-control, of course.

[Still smiling, in happy oblivious land]

Oh, right. Sure, I can do that. Are we gonna do more like the apple in the ice cube trick? [Yes, suddenly this is a 'we' thing]

[She definitely noticed that 'we' thing, but she's just... not gonna acknowledge it for now.]

Thinking more difficult this time, maybe. [She isn't entirely opposed to the idea of teaching him to get his shit together -- especially now that they don't have a huge deadline looming over their heads like before.]

Yeah? [Because good lord those apples were difficult. Still, he trusts her] What kind of thing are you thinking about?

Not entirely sure yet. Will have to be thinking more on this over dinner tonight.

[Who is the king of picking up the wrong end of the stick? This guy]

Dinner? I don't think there's anywhere I can take you on the moon...

[Dear lord...]

...No. Was thinking of going to creepateria.

[Sobbing into the niiiiight]

Oh right. You like the uh... [air quotes time] 'food' they serve here.

[Her face lights up again (she kind of misses the point of his air quotation marks).] Yes! Remind me of Grandmother Yeti's cooking somehow.

[Oh right, sarcasm is lost on her. He pulls a face at the thought of eating that food, but he pushes through for her sake]

Yeah? Like that...milk stuff again? That I'm pretty sure wasn't real milk.

Was so being milk! [That's how you use "so" in that context, right... Where's Frankie when you need her] Being from most useful animal on earth.

[Oh god Frankie got her, he knew it was only a matter of time before the valley girl of death seeped in] It tasted kinda funky. You mean yaks?

Yes! Wool of yak is very useful. Also butter of yak great with pancakes. You try someday, yes?

[Oh no, not more yak by-products. Suck it in man, suck it in]

Yeah, sure, Abbey. That'd be...great.

[She claps her hands together in excitement!] Maybe we go on mission together and find yak to milk. Bring milk back here and make butter. I know recipe.

[His desire to not eat things that come out of a yak is overridden by his desire to spend time with her. He offers her a smile]

Yeah, that'd be great. I'm sure the people here would love to eat some yak butter.

[If they don't, too bad, If he has to eat it, they do, too]

Much thicker than butter being made from milk of cow. We find out how to start mission tomorrow.

[Yayayayayayayayay!! She's so excited for food from the homeland ♥]

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