1 [Video]

[hotdate]

[The video feed clicks on to show Heath in his quarters smiling widely at his audience]

Heeeey Exsilumites. Just trying that word out there, I think it works for us. It makes us sound way cooler than 'Transports', don't you think? Transports make us sound like we're, like, smuggled goods or something. Stuffed in some guys suitcase trying to sneak through customs.

[Wait, he had a point to this ramble, didn't he? He clears his throat]

ANYway, I noticed some of you guys have been getting all antsy about the werewolves, so I thought I'd give you some Monster High approved ways of keeping your werewolves happy. Just follow this advice and you shouldn't have to worry about being mauled unless you...you know antagonise them, and if you do that you're pretty much asking to be chewed on.

[He'll hold up a variety of toys to the camera. Squeaky chickens, tennis balls, even a Frisbee]

Now what all werewolves love is to play fetch. They'll chase pretty much anything. If you throw one of these things in the opposite direction you want to go, you can make sure the thing they're chasing isn't you. If you can't get any toys, sticks work too. ...Though I guess you can't get any sticks on the moon, unless there are like moon trees.

Are there moon trees?

[Back to the subject at hand, moon trees aren't important right now]

They also love steaks, so if you guys are heading out collecting stuff to bring back here, you should probably bring steaks. Not stakes. Because that's for a completely different monster and no one wants to encourage that kind of prejudice anyway.

So there you go! Remember that werewolves are just big adorable puppies in their fuzzy hearts and don't annoy them while they're suffering on the moon and everything will be A-OK. This has been a PSA by the Heathster. You've been a great audience!

Comments

[hotdate]

[Yes. Yes he did]

I'm sure there are more than just the ones in my world.

[hyanaimne]

Well, yes. But not all of them act that way.

[hotdate]

Does anyone know for sure how the werewolves here act?

[hyanaimne]

They are very nice boys when they are not werewolves; at least, the two I have met.

But right now, they are unable to really control themselves, though I only went to see them after they had been contained.

[hotdate]

...Wait what do you mean when they're not werewolves? [How does that even work]

The moon makes pretty much any werewolf antsy no matter where they come from, I think.

[hyanaimne]

Transformed, I mean. [she waves a hand] Whatever you wish to call it. When they look like boys.

[hotdate]

[Aren't differences in worlds fun? Gosh]

But they're always boys. They're just...boy werewolves.

[hyanaimne]

Yes, but they do not always look like one . . .

[hotdate]

They do where I come from. Always furry, y'know?

[hyanaimne]

Really? How strange . . .

[hotdate]

Not for us, it's just regular.

[hyanaimne]

The werewolves where I am from - the ones who are born that way, are able to change their form whenever they wish. The moon does not control them.

[hotdate]

So does the moon do anything to them? Get them all riled up or anything?

[hyanaimne]

Not those who are born a werewolf. The ones who are bitten and turned into one, yes.

[hotdate]

Ohhhhh, I've heard that happens sometimes. The wolves I know were all born into it. They don't bite normies.

[hyanaimne]

I see . . . what is a "normie"?

[hotdate]

It's our word for humans. You know, just normal humans. So: normies.

[hyanaimne]

How interesting . . .

I know you are not human, though - what are you, if I may ask?

[hotdate]

[He'll just helpfully set his head on fire to demonstrate]

I'm a smokin hot fire elemental.

[hyanaimne]

[oh my god. It's very hard to be surprised and interested all at once]

My . . .

[hotdate]

[Welcome to Spending Time with Heath. He'll flash her a grin]

Pretty awesome, right?

[hyanaimne]

Ah - yes . . .

[hotdate]

[That sort of thing just encourages him. His grin widens and his eyebrows waggle a little]

It's always a great trick to melt the ladies' hearts.

[hyanaimne]

[Tempest, finally catching on, just sighs]

[hotdate]

[Just going to take that a completely different way, don't mind him]

I know, I'm breathtaking. I can't help it. It's natural.