1 [Video]

[hotdate]

[The video feed clicks on to show Heath in his quarters smiling widely at his audience]

Heeeey Exsilumites. Just trying that word out there, I think it works for us. It makes us sound way cooler than 'Transports', don't you think? Transports make us sound like we're, like, smuggled goods or something. Stuffed in some guys suitcase trying to sneak through customs.

[Wait, he had a point to this ramble, didn't he? He clears his throat]

ANYway, I noticed some of you guys have been getting all antsy about the werewolves, so I thought I'd give you some Monster High approved ways of keeping your werewolves happy. Just follow this advice and you shouldn't have to worry about being mauled unless you...you know antagonise them, and if you do that you're pretty much asking to be chewed on.

[He'll hold up a variety of toys to the camera. Squeaky chickens, tennis balls, even a Frisbee]

Now what all werewolves love is to play fetch. They'll chase pretty much anything. If you throw one of these things in the opposite direction you want to go, you can make sure the thing they're chasing isn't you. If you can't get any toys, sticks work too. ...Though I guess you can't get any sticks on the moon, unless there are like moon trees.

Are there moon trees?

[Back to the subject at hand, moon trees aren't important right now]

They also love steaks, so if you guys are heading out collecting stuff to bring back here, you should probably bring steaks. Not stakes. Because that's for a completely different monster and no one wants to encourage that kind of prejudice anyway.

So there you go! Remember that werewolves are just big adorable puppies in their fuzzy hearts and don't annoy them while they're suffering on the moon and everything will be A-OK. This has been a PSA by the Heathster. You've been a great audience!

Comments

[hotdate]

Because it's what people with magic do.

Can you turn anyone into anything else?

[hyanaimne]

Not where I am from. And again, it is not magic I am capable of.

[hotdate]

So what do you call it, if it's not magic?

[hyanaimne]

. . . magic.

Just because I cannot cast those spells, does not mean it does not exist.

[hotdate]

Well, not obviously magic exists. But do you call what you can do magic?

[hyanaimne]

Of course.

[hotdate]

I guess that...makes sense? [He sounds so confused. Magic is not his thing]

[hyanaimne]

There are many different types of magic, where I am from. And only certain types of wizards or witches can do certain types of magic. Or creatures, for that matter. Does that make more sense?

[hotdate]

[This is asking for far too much thought and concentration than Heath is capable of]

Yeah, that makes sense. [Not even going to properly consider it. Nope]

So can you make things disappear?

[hyanaimne]

[SIGH HEATH]

No, I cannot.

[hotdate]

[He can do this all night]

Can you make things appear?

[hyanaimne]

No.

[hotdate]

[Long pause. Has he gone? NOPE]

Can you fly?

[hyanaimne]

[sigh]

No.

[hotdate]

Can you make an army of shadow puppets?

i keep cracking up ilu

[hyanaimne]

No.

I aim to please B)

[hotdate]

Can you control the weather?

[hyanaimne]

No.

[hotdate]

Do you see dead people?

[hyanaimne]

No.

[hotdate]

Do you control plantlife?

[hyanaimne]

No.

[hotdate]

Can you talk to animals?

[hyanaimne]

[FINALLY]

Yes, I can.

[hotdate]

Can you set-

Oh wait I got one! Sweet!

[...]

Have you talked to a bear?