( patrol 001 ) ♑ ( voice )

[defending]

First things first - Initiative? Really? Come on, couldn'tcha be at least a little original? I mean I'm having a serious case of been there, done that. And for the record? Not really looking forward to doing it again. I've had the tour, I've seen the shinies - and I'll say again. Not interested. Opposite of interested. Me and freaky government strongholds go way back. We had a very hot and heavy relationship, but we're seeing other people now, and both of us are better for it. So, second thing? If you could just, you know - help a girl out and point me toward the nearest exit? That'd be real peachy. Failing that? I'm not your strong-arm. You can't control me. Don't even try.

[ It sounds like she's done, but then there's rustling, and she comes back. ]

Oh, neat um -- neat weapon thingy. By the way. Looks like it might be stolen tech from someone very unsavory. But you almost had me drooling. I'm watching you.

Comments

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[bikininspector]

Well - I'm not complaining.

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[defending]

[ How else can she respond to that then to drop her head and hide her own blush, smiling all the while. She's quiet for a second before she looks back to him. ] I guess I should let you go, though. I've kinda hogged a lot of your time today.

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[bikininspector]

Nah, it's been fun. And I'm not as busy as I'd like to be. But you should go settle in before the conversation takes another turn to the sombrero.

And I promise, Dean's the only relative I've got lying around here, so there shouldn't be any more ambushes.

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[defending]

I'm glad it's been fun. You seem like the kinda guy who needs a little bit of that in your life. And for all the serious doom-and-gloom in my life, I'm pretty much fun-girl whenever I can afford to be. [ Translation: It's been fun for me too and I'm glad you feel less crappy because of me! ]

I'm not really worried. About him, or anyone else. I don't scare easy.

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[bikininspector]

We could have our own sitcom.

[And he's just going to silently pray that she'll never meet his dad.]

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[defending]

[ Snort. ] Pass. Besides, we're missing my wacky and funtastic friends. Like the ex-demon with a big lack of filter in the brain-to-mouth sense and the stuffy British genius.

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[bikininspector]

Ex-demon? What do you mean ex demon?

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[defending]

I mean, she was a human who became a demon then lost her demon powers, then got them back, then lost them again and is now just a human that's thousands of years old with lots and lots of inside knowledge. Different worlds. Remember?

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[bikininspector]

So demons in your world - they used to be human?

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[defending]

Um -- some kinds? She was a vengeance demon. But some demons are from totally different dimensions. There are thousands of species. Vampires, actually, are a demon that's taken up residence in a dead human body. Other demons aren't as easy to hide.

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[bikininspector]

Vampires?

[Oh boy that's just hilarious. He shakes his head a little with a small smile, wow, the differences between worlds. Briefly he wonders if they have the tooth fairy too.]

That's -- really interesting. We should cut it cuz that could be a whole other hours long discussion. But I definitely wanna pick that back up later.

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[defending]

What, like you don't have those or something? I'm The Slayer. The Vampire. Slayer.

[ DON'T MAKE HER FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT. HUFF. ]

Totally a conversation for another time.

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[bikininspector]

No, far as I know those are strictly for romance novels where I'm from.

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[defending]

They're not a joke. They're kind of like the cockroaches of the demon world where I'm from.

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[bikininspector]

That -- sounds like a serious problem. I've only ever dealt with one demon so far and that was hard enough.

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[defending]

I keep it under control whenever and wherever I can, but most of my work keeps me stuck in Sunnydale. I'm apparently world renowned, though. I fought Dracula once. No joke.

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[bikininspector]

The Dracula?

[He may be impressed. Oh what was it about this conversation ending?]

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[defending]

The. He came to Sunnydale looking for me. Specifically me. He actually tried to get me to turn to his side. Blood, by the way? Gross. Don't ever do it. No matter how thrall-filled you may be.

[ She wrinkles her nose. ]

And he really does come back. Every time. I think I just convinced him to give up for awhile.

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[bikininspector]

Well I guess when you're the only one fighting his kind -- that would make sense.

[Oh Dear Lord he doesn't even want to imagine it.]

Not - planing on it. That's - that's nasty.

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[defending]

Yeah, but he knew me by name. It's common to know about the Slayer and her location when you're a vamp, but nothing like this. Still kinda nags at me sometimes.

[ She laughs. ]

He kinda had mind-control powers. I'm stronger than that, even more now, but there's this whole thing where he bit me -- [ She pauses and scoops her hair to one side, tilting her neck and leaning in close to the lens. The scars from the puncture marks are still there. ] -- and had me all wanting him. Ish. For a little while. Gross.

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[bikininspector]

Does his research - [that is alarming. Monsters are bad enough, they don't need smart ones on their hands on top of everything.]

That -- really is gross.

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[defending]

Vampires are smart. Most of them, anyway, in my world. They know who I am. A lot of them know where. But not all of them would be gutsy enough to hunt me down.

[ She laughs a little. She isn't sure she should mention her erm. Romantic. History with vampires. To Sam. It seems like there's a pretty no-gray-area type deal where he's from. ]

Tell me about it. And he was so pale.

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[bikininspector]

That's just -- great. So you just...stick around in one place and let them come to you?

[At least she gets to have a home - he shouldn't be jealous but yeah, he kinda is.]

Well, if he ever shows up here we'll make sure to show him some sun.

[Of course that'll have to require a mission because of the goddamn weather here - they'll all end up looking like vamps if this rain doesn't let up.]

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[defending]

I stick by the Hellmouth. It's where most of the really bad stuff happens. Most concentrated evil is gathered where you can get into the heart of evil. Makes sense, right?

[ THIS TURNED INTO EVEN LONGER CONVERSATION OH LAWRD. ]

Won't do as much to him as it will to other vampires. But we can try. Besides, he's really kind of lame. Not enough of a threat to be worth it.

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[bikininspector]

Yeah, yeah that makes sense.

[THEY CAN'T STOP TALKING. SOMEONE GRAB THE TABLET AND HANG UP FOR THEM.]

Seriously? Wow, you'd think a vamp that can't be killed would be the worst -