video ♪ anxiety

[chosenfake]

[The feed shows a teenager with red hair. Really red. He's more ginger than a Weasley. He's still trying to figure out the device, apparently. The setting seems to be a kitchen, nothing special.

He sighs, making the bangs fly away from his nose, if only briefly.]

That mission was... something. I want to thank everyone who helped me when I first got here. As it turns out, I've got a couple questions for anyone who wants to answer them.

First, where can I get a journal? Nothing fancy-- I just need a place to write things down. As long as it can handle being shoved in an item bag, it'll be fine.

Also, is everything the Initiative told us true? It's not that I can't believe what's in front of me, but I like to see things for myself. I just got here, so I don't know much. About anything, really.

I think that's it for now. ... Thanks. [He fumbles with the device a bit, brow furrowed, and then it shuts off.]

Comments

boy, that escalated quickly

[chosenfake]

[The contrast between the words and the smile makes it all seem hollow. Luke, for his part, looks devastated.]

So then... even we die here... they can just bring us back, again and again? [What if it's... replicas?] Do we remember anything?

sobbing into my hands

[antitactical]

Mmmm yeah, they do, and we do? I'm not exactly someone who's tested that out, but when you die here, the Initiative can and does bring you back. I can't entirely wrap my head around the how, but I've seen the proof. The people still seem to remember all the right things, and they weren't totally sent home, so...

[chosenfake]

Oh...

[He lets out a breath he doesn't realize he's holding.]

So there's no weird side-effects.

[whatsupcroc]

None I know about. Why're you expecting any?

[chosenfake]

The last time people started coming back from the dead-- on my world-- it wasn't them at all. People aren't supposed to come back. It's a relief that our friends here can't really die, but at the same time, I wouldn't want to wish something worse on them.

It's not right. [He clutches his sleeves.] None of this... feels right.

[whatsupcroc]

Nope! It usually doesn't, but I for one am going to take from it all the good stuff I can! I'm no good at agonizing over things anyway, so...

( She shrugs. )

People do come back while they're here. From the dead, and I don't mean the resurrection thing with the Initiative. I know quite a few people who are dead back home who are okay here, you know? Timing and everything. Timing and amazing technology!

[chosenfake]

[Luke just looks solemn, not happy. He may or may not be one of the dead ones.]

What are those people supposed to do? Wait until they're sent back and die again?

[whatsupcroc]

( Collette has her own philosophy on how to embrace life here when you're dead back home: live and do and stop regrets because there's no time for them. But her solution to his question isn't satisfactory; it relies too much on chance and belief.

It reminds her, sharply, of what hurt in really having Al go back, if his cutting words to others had been true. Dead... Dead like she was, only he'd come back. )

Sure, if they want to be depressed mopers! Or they can look for a way to stabilize things so that we can all figure out how to make the whole stay and go thing controlled, and keep themselves anywhere where they're living. So's your glass half full, or half empty? Would you say they have another chance, or say they're being tormented just a while longer?

[chosenfake]

[He doesn't respond for a long minute, but when he does, his voice is a little stronger.]

It's up to you to decide what you get out of your stay. Just like you have to decide if you're going to fight or not, you have to decide if the people you meet-- if the time you spend-- means anything.

I don't think it's half-full or half-empty. That's too simple, you know? What's happening here is awful, but I think giving up on everything is worse. I don't think that's living.

[He taps his fingers on the table in thought.]

... I like your idea. If we control the machine instead of the Initiative, that might mean something.

[whatsupcroc]

See? You had the answer all along!

( Her tone picks up, carrying some degree of amusement and sincere belief as she replies. )

And I think it would. Which means the Initiative knows I think that, but I'm not too fussed about that. Like that much wouldn't be obvious, but -- duh. If they expected otherwise, they're really living in La-La Land.

( Snorting, she straightens in her chair. )

Which leaves us with a clear goal! Getting in control of the machine, changing up the process to something we don't just have to endure. Easy as pie, once we have that figured!