exsilium | video ♪ anxiety

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video ♪ anxiety

[The feed shows a teenager with red hair. Really red. He's more ginger than a Weasley. He's still trying to figure out the device, apparently. The setting seems to be a kitchen, nothing special.

He sighs, making the bangs fly away from his nose, if only briefly.]

That mission was... something. I want to thank everyone who helped me when I first got here. As it turns out, I've got a couple questions for anyone who wants to answer them.

First, where can I get a journal? Nothing fancy-- I just need a place to write things down. As long as it can handle being shoved in an item bag, it'll be fine.

Also, is everything the Initiative told us true? It's not that I can't believe what's in front of me, but I like to see things for myself. I just got here, so I don't know much. About anything, really.

I think that's it for now. ... Thanks. [He fumbles with the device a bit, brow furrowed, and then it shuts off.]

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[Gingers: they're everywhere.]

There are some shops around the city. If you look enough, you might get lucky.

[This entry catches Zelos's eyes mostly because of the hair. Even if he knows it's possible, it's still weird to see humans with bright red hair like his outside his family. Plus wow he kinda looks like that other redhead. Maybe it's a sibling or something?]

[Well...not that he can tell Zelos has red hair right now with the bodyswap. But hey, at least he's actually seeing video for once since Zelos has no reason to hide a face that isn't his.]

I've never looked for one myself, but maybe you can find them in the marketplace. They seem to sell a lot of odds and ends there, maybe you'll get lucky.

As for the last part, we don't know really. I wanted confirmation too, but it's been pretty hard to get information on your own.

Edited 2013-03-11 16:41 (UTC)

[Lady. Are you actually green? Is this a thing he is actually seeing?]

Uh... right.

[Sorry. Green.]

I'll-- I'll keep looking.

I didn't see anything when I first got here, but I wasn't really looking for one, either. I might've missed it.

[He folds his arms.]

How long has this place been around? You'd think we'd have some confirmation on something... I'm no good at being a detective when I'm trapped somewhere.

It's possible you did. The first day's always disorienting.

[He considers and shrugs]

No idea how long, I only catch bits and pieces from other transports. The rest of the information comes from the Initiative...and who knows how accurate that is.

It was cold and rainy, too. I didn't even know a place could rain that much.

[He sighs.]

I don't like that. Being kept in the dark... Are we just supposed to take their word for it?

If people are going to fight at all, they need to find their own reasons to fight, not be tricked into it.

Get used to the rain, it's all it ever does.

[He never knew just how much he'd kill for sun]

I think we are. And I don't really like it either, I like seeing more concrete proof. But...seems to be the way of this place, trickery or not.

Ugh.

[Neither did Luke to be honest. Gone are the days of just LAYING ON THE CONCRETE and soaking it all up.]

There's at least a couple hundred people here, right? And they're content with all this?

Not really, I haven't met anyone content with the situation. Just no one knows what to do about it. Can't say I'm better.

There has to be someone we can talk to.

A journal? There are usually some for sale near the library at the Hold, if you remember where you arrived. Let me know if you can't find them.

I don't think anyone can tell you if everything the Initiative claims is true. We can't always test what they tell us.

[Luke decides to just respond with video because he honestly can't figure out how to change it. And typing looks terrifying with all the little keys and stuff.]

Thanks. I'll be sure to look there.

[His expression sobers at the second part of the message, though.]

... Don't you hate not being told everything? Not being trusted to make your own decisions? Maybe if I knew more, I'd be less hesitant about it all, but right now it looks like they kidnapped us just so they can have bodies for their war.

It's not fair to us, and it's not fair to the people living here who obviously need help.

[Poor Luke. Kariya's mostly sticking to text because responding to people right now with Phoenix's face or voice will just lead to more confusion down the road.]

... No, it's not fair. And not knowing everything is a problem. But even if we don't know everything, we have to move forward.

[If he doesn't believe that he can do something despite everything in his way, he won't be able to move at all. He left 'choice' behind some time ago.]

There are still decisions to make, of course. Not everyone has to fight.

[To Luke's credit, he looks a little tamed by those words. There's truth to them. Of course they have to move forward, but what if...]

But if we act without knowing all the facts, we might make the wrong decision. We might make things worse instead of better. Even with traveling in time, a mistake is still a mistake...

[He may be projecting something personal into this conversation, judging by the guilty look on his face.]

But aren't some missions mandatory?

Of course there are mistakes. I, and the Initiative's own written history, can tell you without a doubt that there have been more than enough of them.

[His situation isn't unique, but it's not common -- at least, he hopes it isn't, because he doesn't have a tendency to pry into others' reasons for fighting or not fighting.

There are things he has to accept, even if they're mistakes. There is nothing in this conversation that isn't personal. However...]

It's up to each person whether they can accept those mistakes, or look for a different way. Attendance at the missions is mandatory, but I don't know that they've made actual fighting and participation a requirement.

... If it's not too much to ask, could you tell me a little about the things the Initiative has done wrong? It's okay if you can't.

[Whatever the reason, Luke keeps it close to himself. It's not that he can't fight. It's not that he's a coward. But killing people is a big thing, even if they are from a different world than his own.]

It doesn't seem right to sit back and let everyone else fight, either. [He rubs at the back of his head.] I don't even know what I want at this point... It's not that I think the Initiative is awful. Fighting against the-- United Earth, is that what it's called?-- isn't inherently bad. But yanking people around, toying with lives, the way they're treating their own people, it all seems wrong.

This is... this is the country of someone who's forgotten the needs of the people. Someone who's only focused on destroying what might be a threat. The only reason Exsilium has any power at all is because we're all just going along with it. If we wanted things to change, really change, we'd have to stand together.

And yet, I can't say that would be the right thing to do. If we all disappeared, these people would probably... [... not make it.]

They've tried to use drugs to control the Transports. They've tampered with the timeline in ways that endangered us. They haven't been able to prevent the U.E. from entering Exsilium at will. Among other things.

[The boy seems old and canny enough that Kariya gives him the benefit of the doubt; of not sugarcoating things.]

There are enough of us who can fight, for those who can't or choose not to. [Of course, he'd rather those who can help do so, but he doesn't meddle too much.] I think you already have some idea of what you think is right. You don't have to make it as black-and-white a choice as collaborating with the Initiative or abandoning the people of Exsilium.

Edited 2013-03-12 11:42 (UTC)

[Luke's expression grows more somber as the list of crimes appears before his eyes. He's sure there's more, but it's beyond this man's knowledge and Luke's as well. These things are more than questionable. There might have been 'good reasons' for drugging the Transports, probably, but Luke doesn't buy into those things so easily anymore. It leaves a bad taste in his mouth.]

I... wow.

[He rests his chin on top of his hands, considering.]

Nothing is that clear, especially when innocents are involved. Still... I can't help thinking about the people living on this world. They have even less of a choice in this than we do.

For now, I'll fight, but not because I was promised something. [He can't go home, anyway.] It's like you said. We have to keep moving forward. That's the only way we'll be able to find out more about the Initiative and what we're really doing here.

The only person I know that gives any information is Ai, the artificial intelligence in the computer system. But right now she's busy with this current problem and...well, she's only been here a month so I don't know how much she knows.

Edited 2013-03-12 17:03 (UTC)

[This is pretty clearly a man's voice, but the speaker is taking pains to try to make it sound girly. CREEPY]

You keep a journal?

( With a cheery smile and tone of voice, Collette responds with: )

Both yes and no!

Edited 2013-03-13 22:12 (UTC)

You could say that again.

Yes, the people of this world are in a similar situation. It's a good thing, in this war, to be able to sympathize with them. But it's also good to remember that you can't save everyone.

[He leaves it at that. He admires the kind of heart that can reach out so openly to so many people -- he isn't a good enough man to match it -- but it also makes him uneasy on the boy's behalf. It's difficult to tell the difference between cowardice and caution.]

You don't have to be hasty. There are other ways to move forward and learn, too.

... Are you answering the first question or the second one?

[He looks terribly confused.]

[That is definitely unsettling.]

Well, yeah... Is keeping a diary weird or something?

['You can't save everyone.' He's heard that before, seen it in action. Hadn't he tried to talk to Van one last time?]

I... I know. But that doesn't mean we should give up before we've even started.

[Despite his shy demeanor, there is something stubborn about this kid. Maybe it's the red hair.]

I'm good with a sword. I can protect other people. That's enough, right?

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