01 ☢ video

[ex_havenofear960]

[The camera clicks on to reveal a skinny kid with a mess of brown hair. He's holding the tablet in front of him, so the view's a bit shaky; it doesn't help that he's fidgeting and gesturing with his other hand as he speaks, first and foremost being a quick and awkward wave hello.]

Hey. Hello? This is on, right? You know, they should put a light on these things to show they're transmitting. Maybe they do, I didn't really - [Barely a pause as he checks himself, gets back on track.]

Sorry. Hi, my name's Peter. Peter Parker. So I got the welcome tour, and I guess my big question is - where can we get decent food around here?

[Priorities. He got most of the relevant info the other day, anyway. He almost looks like he's done, but then he abruptly remembers something and speaks up again in a rush.] And I made a thing. I mean, I didn't really make it, I just re-made it. I probably messed some of it up, but I guess nobody here's going to know any better, right?

It's for Collette, but I figured anybody could use it. Let me know if you have questions, or just type "help" and it should cover the bases. And don't forget to use your lanterns. [And Peter out - no wait, just kidding. He's half a second from ending the transmission before he stops.]

It's a game, by the way. The thing.

[He's done for real this time, pending an attachment:]

► ATTACHMENT 1: zork.exe

Comments

[biwinning]

I want it.

[ex_havenofear960]

[... um.]

Want what? The game... ?

[biwinning]

No, kid. I want a fucking foot massthage.

No shit I want the game.

[ex_havenofear960]

[ Wow, manners!! He side-eyes the screen a bit, but he does have manners, so he keeps it friendly. ]

There should be an attachment - did you not get it? I can resend it.

[biwinning]

No, not jutht the .exe. I want the work filesth. The one you uthed to make thith.

[ex_havenofear960]

Oh, right. Sure, but only because you asked so nicely.

[ And he sends absolutely nothing, because you did not ask very nicely. ]

[biwinning]

Waiting.

[ex_havenofear960]

Still not there? You sure your connection's working? Maybe you should reset your modem.

[ Do they even have modems here........ ]

[biwinning]

No, pretty sure it'th on your end. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

[ex_havenofear960]

[ Excuse you. ]

Nah, but I have considered just turning it off. Seriously, say please, I've got the code right here.

[biwinning]

What, you have a begging fetish or thomething?

[ex_havenofear960]

Do I have a... what? No, I don't have a begging fetish.

Just saying, basic manners, man. Ask nicely and you shall receive.

[biwinning]

I am athking nicely. I could have thaid a lot worthe thingsth than I did already.

[ex_havenofear960]

Right, whatever. Sounds like you and Flash went to the same etiquette school. Why do you want them, anyway? You want to make your own?

[ That said, he is actually sending a zipped file attachment this time. ]

[biwinning]

Yeth. Thort of. ... The thimple anthwer ith yeth.

Thanksth.

[ex_havenofear960]

No problem. [ But he's squinting as his screen a bit, and it's only half because of the eyes and the horns. ]

What's the complicated answer?

[biwinning]

I'm going to make it better.

[ex_havenofear960]

[ Wow rude. It gets a slight grin, though. ]

Yeah? Lots of people already have, but feel free. Still, you should show some respect, man - this is a classic.

[biwinning]

A classthic that will thay "I don't understand that" at the thlightest invalid input. Classthics are classthics because nostalgia ith a powerful enough thing for people to dithregard the future in favor of a "leth complicated" patht thimply becauthe they were too dumb at the time to realize the "cool thing" they had wath really jutht thit on a thtick.

[ex_havenofear960]

Wow, tell me how you really feel.

I didn't make the game, you know that, right? I mean, I just copied it. But still, harsh words.

So what games are up to your standards, then?

[biwinning]

I know. But I have to criticize THOMETHING.

Onesth that change reality and their ultimate prize a new univerthe in which you become a God.

[ex_havenofear960]

... oh. That's all?

[ Seriously?? God? And said as if he thinks you're just a bit crazy now, naturally. ]

[biwinning]

And I mean, I wrote one that did that, no big deal.

[He's a 14/15 year old who looks like he's still 12. If this doesn't reek of "trying to show off to someone older than him," nothing does.]

sorry for slow!!

[ex_havenofear960]

[ He's side-eyeing the screen so hard, man. ]

Just to clarify - are you talking game universe, or actual universe?

I TOO AM SLOW.

[biwinning]

Actual univerthe. Of courthe.