01 ☢ video

[ex_havenofear960]

[The camera clicks on to reveal a skinny kid with a mess of brown hair. He's holding the tablet in front of him, so the view's a bit shaky; it doesn't help that he's fidgeting and gesturing with his other hand as he speaks, first and foremost being a quick and awkward wave hello.]

Hey. Hello? This is on, right? You know, they should put a light on these things to show they're transmitting. Maybe they do, I didn't really - [Barely a pause as he checks himself, gets back on track.]

Sorry. Hi, my name's Peter. Peter Parker. So I got the welcome tour, and I guess my big question is - where can we get decent food around here?

[Priorities. He got most of the relevant info the other day, anyway. He almost looks like he's done, but then he abruptly remembers something and speaks up again in a rush.] And I made a thing. I mean, I didn't really make it, I just re-made it. I probably messed some of it up, but I guess nobody here's going to know any better, right?

It's for Collette, but I figured anybody could use it. Let me know if you have questions, or just type "help" and it should cover the bases. And don't forget to use your lanterns. [And Peter out - no wait, just kidding. He's half a second from ending the transmission before he stops.]

It's a game, by the way. The thing.

[He's done for real this time, pending an attachment:]

► ATTACHMENT 1: zork.exe

Comments

[biwinning]

the only briidge that ha2 any 2iigniifiicance two me ii2 the briidge from my foot two your a22.

[arachnoid]

i thought we were bonding over talking about video game douchebags and now you sound like one

i'm getting mixed signals here

[ Bolder over text? No, certainly not. ]

[biwinning]

you lo2t the conver2atiion the 2econd you apologiized.

[arachnoid]

seriously? do they not have manners where you're from?

[biwinning]

they don't have anythiing where ii'm from anymore.
the planet ii2 de2troyed.
everyone el2e ii2 dead.

[AND WHILE HE FEELS SOME REGRET over the destruction of his planet, it's not enough to not say something he know will sympathy-kidney-punch someone.]

[arachnoid]

[ OH MY GOD that is awful why would you do that. It works very well, though. ]

oh my god i'm so sorry

i swear i'll never mention bridges and manners ever again

[biwinning]

[Humans are so susceptible to sympathy ploys, it's hilarious.]

good.
ii wouldn't have two 2tart cryiing agaiin.
over the lo22 of my whole race.

lmfao

[arachnoid]

but you've got some friends here, right? 6 of them? that's good

he's so horrible but i want them to be friends

[biwinning]

well there 2hould be 12 of u2 twotal.
and one of the troll2 here ii2 the guy who kiilled my giirlfriiend and bliind2 me iin the future.
another one ii2 the guy who kiill2 by fated riival and hii2 moiiraiil.
2o ii'm not really friiend2 wiith them.

don't worry peter's pretty easy and by that i mean forgiving

[arachnoid]

[ holy shit ]

oh.

sorry, that really sucks. how do you know? about what happens in the future, i mean, are they from different times?

[biwinning]

ye2.
and through vii2iion2.

[arachnoid]

whoa. sorry, that's kind of messed up

do you usually have visions, or is that just something here?

[biwinning]

ye2, keep apologiiziing.
ii feed off your human 2ympathy.

and ii've had vii2iion2 2iince ii pupated.
but le22 2o here.
there ii2 2iigniifiicantly le22 death here.

[arachnoid]

[ He'd like to call you a douche again, but he can't really get away with it after that infodrop, rude. ]

pupated? really?

[ ... probably also rude to ask about troll reproduction, so he'll put a lid on that for now. ]

and yeah, i heard. i mean i heard that there's death but it doesn't really stick. not sure if that's a good thing or not.

[biwinning]

iit'2 a good thiing iif you liike liiviing.
a bad thiing iif you're waiitiing for death.

[arachnoid]

...... true

[ wow he really really needs sensitivity training for this conversation ]

you don't, do you?

[biwinning]

ii don't what.