exsilium | video

The free high-tech laptop is a nice touch, but the whole "let's get ready for a war" thing isn't. Though I guess the onslaught of monsters is pretty convincing...looks like you guys need all the help you can get!

...too bad you picked the wrong girl. Your warrior princess is in another castle, I'm just the magical support. Hi, the name's Kaycee, the girl you're looking for is named Ariel. Y'know, blonde hair...blue eyes...white... [she tugs on her ponytail of mussed up, black hair for emphasis] the people in charge of this place obviously missed their mark.

[she looks totally nonchalant and familiar with using technology. though honestly, she's from a time where touch-screens weren't as wide-spread but hey, she got her hands on an iPhone or two before technology became borked and she found herself in a shitty fantasy world.

nice to have something that reminds her of home. even if she graduated from a fantasy cliche to a science fiction one.

something seems to cross her mind and she shifts topics.]

Hey, when and if this monster infestation is all said and done, does anyone know a good river or lake or something? I need to get stoned.

And by stoned I mean like, find stones. Which I need. To throw at people. I'm being completely serious. If someone pops up and gives me a look I swear...it was a rock joke. And even if it wasn't a joke you're not my mother.

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No I'm planning on stoning unsuspecting civilians, women and children alike, and looting them for their money and pants.

[SHE LAUGHS, waving that away.]

No I'm joking. Yes, I'm totally going to stone those monsters. Maybe. If I'm in the mood.

Why would you ever be in the mood to throw rocks at monsters?

Haven't you ever been in the mood to throw something at someone?

I have.

Well. Yeah. But I've... I've never actually gone out and done it.

Well I have.

Because that's sorta my thing. Well, it is my thing. Stoning things to death.

With magic.

[WHY YES SHE DID JUST DO SPIRIT FINGERS RIGHT THEN AND THERE.]

You don't seem to be taking it very seriously.

[Weird...]

[A LOOK OF FEIGNED SHOCK]

Should I be?

No... I guess not. I just always thought it was something to be more serious about. Something like magic.

Okay well some people act all serious when it comes to magic, that's their...thing or whatever.

Not me though. Because throwing rocks is dumb and I feel like I was cheated out of something that was potentially really cool. Now I'm the dork with the sack of rocks hanging from her belt.

[SHE LEANS IN TOWARDS THE CAMERA]

Do you know what that's like?

Being a dork, that is.

I might have had some experience, yeah.

Yeah I can kinda tell. That was a rhetorical question.

Is it really that obvious?

[she makes a vague circular motion around her face.]

Yeah.

[He sighs. Frowns. Doesn't make eye contact.

Also changes the subject.]

So is magic like yours common in uh... your world? [Wow that still feels weird to say.] Silly magic, I mean. Not the "cool" type. [Whatever that means.]

Well my "world" [AIR QUOTES] is Earth so no, not really.

But the world I was in before this place? Uh...no, actually. Not my kind of magic at least, stone-throwing mages are a rarity or something.

But general magic is common in Elyon, yeah.

That must be nice. Being around others who can do the same thing as you.

It got pretty annoying after awhile.

Ah. [A soft chuckle.] Yeah, I can get that.

[BUT GUESS WHO'S NOT GOING TO ALLOW THIS TO GET SERIOUS

this chick. she sits back from the camera and make a vague waving motion at the screen.]

So, what's your name?

I introduced myself to everyone and so far I got a lot of responses, but no introductions back.

Oh! Right. I'm, uh. Martin. I'm new here too, I guess.

And how are you liking post apocalyptic not-England, Marty?

It could use some work.

Like a new paint job, right?

And less rain. I hate rain. My hair and rain do not mix well I'm going to look like the Bride of Frankenstein in about a week.

At least you'd fit in with the other monsters?

Hah. Hah...actually maybe that's an idea.

I pretend I'm one of them and maybe they won't attack me.

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