gorillawarfare: (Default)
Marco ([personal profile] gorillawarfare) wrote in [community profile] exsilium2012-06-29 06:20 pm

1 gorilla | video

[ Marco sits on his bed, looking amused and annoyed at the same time. ]

Dear aliens or government officials who have probably kidnapped me and are about to commence brainwashing or hideous torture:

You could've at least thrown in a Baywatch poster for the cell room. Preferably one that doesn't have Hasslehof. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of the guy and his ridiculous amounts of exposed chest hair, but a guy's last days really should be in the company of two dimensional Carmen, if it's not too much trouble.

Hell, let's just assume you're feeling extra courteous today and throw in a bag of Cheetos and a can of Mountain Dew. A guy's last day has got to have some junk food with it.

And really, this thing? [ he waves the device ] A little outdated, don't you think? I don't see a single port for dial-up. What good's a comm system if it doesn't have internet? A guy's last day should be spent checking his final fantasy football score.

So. If it's not too much trouble, which I doubt it is since you kidnapped me and I'm being a remarkably good sport about the whole thing, my demands:

[holds up one finger ]

Carmen.

[ holds up another ]

Junk food.

[ one more ]

Fantasy Football.

See? Only three. Man, I'm letting you guys off easy.
flightlessbird: (but how was the goat gotten?)

[personal profile] flightlessbird 2012-07-06 07:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh.

[ she considers that one for a few seconds, then shakes her head ]

Then this is not a welcome wagon. And I did not realize that you were not being... entirely not full of BS. [ that one comes with a squint, because there were entirely too many negatives there to keep track of, in any language ]
flightlessbird: (ew what is on your neck. your face? ew.)

[personal profile] flightlessbird 2012-07-19 07:20 pm (UTC)(link)
No, it is just me. I do not know why you are expecting more.
flightlessbird: (excuse me i highly doubt that claim)

[personal profile] flightlessbird 2012-07-30 04:57 pm (UTC)(link)
[ LONG PAUSE ]

I think we are speaking the same language, but I cannot be sure.