1 gorilla | video

[gorillawarfare]

[ Marco sits on his bed, looking amused and annoyed at the same time. ]

Dear aliens or government officials who have probably kidnapped me and are about to commence brainwashing or hideous torture:

You could've at least thrown in a Baywatch poster for the cell room. Preferably one that doesn't have Hasslehof. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of the guy and his ridiculous amounts of exposed chest hair, but a guy's last days really should be in the company of two dimensional Carmen, if it's not too much trouble.

Hell, let's just assume you're feeling extra courteous today and throw in a bag of Cheetos and a can of Mountain Dew. A guy's last day has got to have some junk food with it.

And really, this thing? [ he waves the device ] A little outdated, don't you think? I don't see a single port for dial-up. What good's a comm system if it doesn't have internet? A guy's last day should be spent checking his final fantasy football score.

So. If it's not too much trouble, which I doubt it is since you kidnapped me and I'm being a remarkably good sport about the whole thing, my demands:

[holds up one finger ]

Carmen.

[ holds up another ]

Junk food.

[ one more ]

Fantasy Football.

See? Only three. Man, I'm letting you guys off easy.

Comments

Re: [Video]

[gorillawarfare]

What Carmen did you think I meant? San Diego?

[Video]

[feel_nevermore]

No. The one from the French opera. [She said that already, Marco. Aren't you paying attention?]

I don't know what 'Baywatch' is anyway.

Re: [Video]

[gorillawarfare]

[ sorry Raven, you lost him at 'opera' ]

Pretty much the penultimate show on cable right now. Pamela, Carmen, swimsuits, beach. Need I say more?

[Video]

[feel_nevermore]

No. I think I get the idea just fine.

Re: [Video]

[gorillawarfare]

Good to know. You can see why a guy might want a poster as a last request then.

[Video]

[feel_nevermore]

I suppose I can, yes. [Boys have strange last requests sometimes.]

Re: [Video]

[gorillawarfare]

Glad to see we're finally on the same wavelength.

Marco, by the way.

[Video]

[feel_nevermore]

[A nod.] Raven.

Re: [Video]

[gorillawarfare]

Parents were Poe fans, huh? Edgy.

[Video]

[feel_nevermore]

I don't think they were, no.

...I am, though.

Re: [Video]

[gorillawarfare]

I guess it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Probably explains why I love playing hide and seek so much.

[Video]

[feel_nevermore]

[Prophecy, huh? Apt choice of words, Marco.] Oh. How so?

Re: [Video]

[gorillawarfare]

Y'know. A guy named Blase is pretty much destined to be a meat head bullied. A guy named Jake is destined to have no sense of humor. Raven fits that whole...goth vibe.

[Video]

[feel_nevermore]

What about Marco and hide and seek games?

Re: [Video]

[gorillawarfare]

[ a big, dumb smirk. He knows how bad this is ]

Polo.

[Video]

[feel_nevermore]

I should have guessed.

[A pause and a small smirk.] BeastBoy would love you.

Re: [Video]

[gorillawarfare]

Is that like Beast Master's little cousin or something?

[Video]

[feel_nevermore]

He certainly wishes so, but no. Not at all.

Re: [Video]

[gorillawarfare]

Please tell me I'm not reminding you of some thirty year old still living in his mom's basement.

[Video]

[feel_nevermore]

No. You remind me of a green skinned teenager who lives in a T-shaped tower. Does that make you feel better?

Re: [Video]

[gorillawarfare]

...slightly, actually.

[Video]

[feel_nevermore]

Glad I could brighten your day then.

Re: [Video]

[gorillawarfare]

[ a smile ]

I'll get you a card as soon as I find the Hallmark around here.

[Video]

[feel_nevermore]

I'll be looking forward to it.