gorillawarfare: (Default)
Marco ([personal profile] gorillawarfare) wrote in [community profile] exsilium2012-06-29 06:20 pm

1 gorilla | video

[ Marco sits on his bed, looking amused and annoyed at the same time. ]

Dear aliens or government officials who have probably kidnapped me and are about to commence brainwashing or hideous torture:

You could've at least thrown in a Baywatch poster for the cell room. Preferably one that doesn't have Hasslehof. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of the guy and his ridiculous amounts of exposed chest hair, but a guy's last days really should be in the company of two dimensional Carmen, if it's not too much trouble.

Hell, let's just assume you're feeling extra courteous today and throw in a bag of Cheetos and a can of Mountain Dew. A guy's last day has got to have some junk food with it.

And really, this thing? [ he waves the device ] A little outdated, don't you think? I don't see a single port for dial-up. What good's a comm system if it doesn't have internet? A guy's last day should be spent checking his final fantasy football score.

So. If it's not too much trouble, which I doubt it is since you kidnapped me and I'm being a remarkably good sport about the whole thing, my demands:

[holds up one finger ]

Carmen.

[ holds up another ]

Junk food.

[ one more ]

Fantasy Football.

See? Only three. Man, I'm letting you guys off easy.
noble_nate: (Intense)

[Video]

[personal profile] noble_nate 2012-07-03 05:15 am (UTC)(link)
Nathaniel Howe. [Don't even think about making fun of his name, boyo.]

I'm from Ferelden. I like killing darkspawn and hunting.
noble_nate: (Stoic 2)

Re: [Video]

[personal profile] noble_nate 2012-07-03 05:26 am (UTC)(link)
[He saw what you did there...]

I prefer hunting game, such as deer and rabbits. There's a sport in killing them, but they're used for sustenance.

Darkspawn don't really require hunting, and they're a blight on the land. The only useful thing about their deaths is that there are then fewer darkspawn to have to kill later.
Edited 2012-07-03 05:27 (UTC)
noble_nate: (That's...interesting)

[Video]

[personal profile] noble_nate 2012-07-04 06:57 am (UTC)(link)
They destroy everything in their path, poison the land and the people, cause misery wherever they go.

Other than that they're quite pleasant.
noble_nate: (Oh really?)

Re: [Video]

[personal profile] noble_nate 2012-07-06 07:02 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not familiar with Conan O'Brien... is he someone important?
noble_nate: (Oh really?)

[Video]

[personal profile] noble_nate 2012-07-06 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
[Lies. Everyone knows Oprah Winfrey rules the world.]

The free world? You mean earth?