exsilium | 1 gorilla

[ Marco sits on his bed, looking amused and annoyed at the same time. ]

Dear aliens or government officials who have probably kidnapped me and are about to commence brainwashing or hideous torture:

You could've at least thrown in a Baywatch poster for the cell room. Preferably one that doesn't have Hasslehof. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of the guy and his ridiculous amounts of exposed chest hair, but a guy's last days really should be in the company of two dimensional Carmen, if it's not too much trouble.

Hell, let's just assume you're feeling extra courteous today and throw in a bag of Cheetos and a can of Mountain Dew. A guy's last day has got to have some junk food with it.

And really, this thing? [ he waves the device ] A little outdated, don't you think? I don't see a single port for dial-up. What good's a comm system if it doesn't have internet? A guy's last day should be spent checking his final fantasy football score.

So. If it's not too much trouble, which I doubt it is since you kidnapped me and I'm being a remarkably good sport about the whole thing, my demands:

[holds up one finger ]

Carmen.

[ holds up another ]

Junk food.

[ one more ]

Fantasy Football.

See? Only three. Man, I'm letting you guys off easy.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You are a step ahead of most humans, at least, there's that too! After a while, you start running out of creative ways to answer "what the heck are you??" But if there's no internet, how am I talking to you right now, from all the way in my bedroom?

Thanks, I pride myself on that one actually. Marco: devilishly handsome and more open to accepting the complete insanity around him.

I'm guessing the alien equivalent of two Dixie cups and a string.

A string is still a wire!

...touche.

Anyway, I'm Feferi. You said your name is Marco? It's nice to meet you!

Nice to meet you too, aside from all the kidnapping and- [ he pauses, reaches in his pocket and-]

Uh. Any reason there's a slingshot in my pocket.

Either you have some friends with a terrible sense of humor, or that's your new weapon! We all get one when we arrive here.

Friends with terrible senses of humor?

[ beat ]

Speaking of, have you see a guy named Jake anywhere?

[ he lets the weapon thing go for now. It's just a kid's slingshot with...three small rocks. can't be anything important ]

No, I haven't. But if I do, should I tell him you're looking for him?

That or just tell him we really need a vacation.

[ he sighs, running a hand through his hair. Almost looking worried ]

Normally this whole, stuck in a time blender thing is a whole group effort.

That's what I thought too! But apparently not? Don't worry though, your friends should be okay.

Heh. I'd feel better about that if I hadn't left them in total, chaotic war.

Actually, scratch that. Rachel's probably fine.

Considering that they make us go on time travel missions here, don't you think they can send you right back to the time you came from?

Not without drastic repercussions. These things always have drastic repercussions.

Last time we prevented the Revolutionary War.

I'm not really qualified to make that sort of call! But I think things will be alright. They always have been, in my experience.

Has this experience been in Care Bear Land, by any chance?

I think it would be more like... what's it called again? It's on the tip of my tongue, it starts with N!

[ Pop culture reference fail but... she tried? ]

Nnnnew Jersey?

I don't think so, it was fictional, and New Jersey is real, right?

If day-glow orange is a natural skin tone, then yeah.

1 gorilla | video

video;

Re: video;

video;

Re: video;

video;

Re: video;

video;

Re: video;

video;

Re: video;

video;

Re: video;

video;

Re: video;

video;

Re: video;

video;

Re: video;

video;

Re: video;