Marco (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
gorillawarfare) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
exsilium2012-06-29 06:20 pm
gorillawarfare) wrote in exsilium2012-06-29 06:20 pm
Entry tags:
- feferi peixes (homestuck),
- raven (tta),
- ✝ anders [dragon age],
- ✝ artika [original],
- ✝ chloe saunders [darkest powers],
- ✝ kaidan alenko [mass effect],
- ✝ marco [animorphs],
- ✝ nathaniel howe [dragon age],
- ✝ takegami teijirou (mr. brain),
- ✝ tali'zorah vas normandy [mass effect],
- ✝ thor odinson [marvel 199999]
1 gorilla | video
[ Marco sits on his bed, looking amused and annoyed at the same time. ]
Dear aliens or government officials who have probably kidnapped me and are about to commence brainwashing or hideous torture:
You could've at least thrown in a Baywatch poster for the cell room. Preferably one that doesn't have Hasslehof. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of the guy and his ridiculous amounts of exposed chest hair, but a guy's last days really should be in the company of two dimensional Carmen, if it's not too much trouble.
Hell, let's just assume you're feeling extra courteous today and throw in a bag of Cheetos and a can of Mountain Dew. A guy's last day has got to have some junk food with it.
And really, this thing? [ he waves the device ] A little outdated, don't you think? I don't see a single port for dial-up. What good's a comm system if it doesn't have internet? A guy's last day should be spent checking his final fantasy football score.
So. If it's not too much trouble, which I doubt it is since you kidnapped me and I'm being a remarkably good sport about the whole thing, my demands:
[holds up one finger ]
Carmen.
[ holds up another ]
Junk food.
[ one more ]
Fantasy Football.
See? Only three. Man, I'm letting you guys off easy.
Dear aliens or government officials who have probably kidnapped me and are about to commence brainwashing or hideous torture:
You could've at least thrown in a Baywatch poster for the cell room. Preferably one that doesn't have Hasslehof. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of the guy and his ridiculous amounts of exposed chest hair, but a guy's last days really should be in the company of two dimensional Carmen, if it's not too much trouble.
Hell, let's just assume you're feeling extra courteous today and throw in a bag of Cheetos and a can of Mountain Dew. A guy's last day has got to have some junk food with it.
And really, this thing? [ he waves the device ] A little outdated, don't you think? I don't see a single port for dial-up. What good's a comm system if it doesn't have internet? A guy's last day should be spent checking his final fantasy football score.
So. If it's not too much trouble, which I doubt it is since you kidnapped me and I'm being a remarkably good sport about the whole thing, my demands:
[holds up one finger ]
Carmen.
[ holds up another ]
Junk food.
[ one more ]
Fantasy Football.
See? Only three. Man, I'm letting you guys off easy.
permavideo
If our loving hosts were to kill us off, they couldn't get much work out of us, now, could they? I hope you like fighting other people's wars better than the chest hair of Messere Hasselhoff.
[Anders got a little confused in the middle of Marco's pop-culture ramble, there.]
permavideo
Forced conscription and old French. Glad to see we're finally getting to the torture part.
no subject
no subject
Now is not the time to point out redundancy. I'm being tortured and you still haven't brought Cheetos.
no subject
no subject
[ sigh ]
I guess this is where I go "where am I?" and "who are you??" and "take me to the leader!"