exsilium | voice

Okay, so, two things.

One, anyone know how to reattach an arm? Like... fuck, I dunno, I guess you could just sew that shit back on. Or like... heal it on? Anyone got any magic wand-waving bullshit for that? Or science it back on, I guess, since holy fuck this is the moon, and all. Hey, are we over that part yet? Cuz I'm pretty fucking jaded. Turns out they weren't kidding when they said that thing about no one hearing you scream in space! They can't hear you bitch in space, either. It blows serious donkey balls out there, once you get your ass over the moonwalking part.

Oh, right, thing two. Anyone seen a decapitated head anywhere? Blond hair, rotted out eyes, answers to Luke? You just lemme know if you seen that little scamp, 'kay? He ran off somewhere, can't turn my back for a goddamn second on that fucker.

[ feel free to have spied Jan's missing head-trophy anywhere around the moon base :') it got shrunken and preserved somewhere along the line, and could pretty much have been left anywhere. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Dude? It's gross. I'm gonna call it like I see it.

You can fuck right off, cocksucker! Luke is a goddamn beautiful creature.

Yo, he's a head. Why do you keep him around?

Why the fuck wouldn't I? Are you headist, bro?

Cuz it's nasty, and probably you'll get diseases and junk. What's headist?

Headist means you got it out for Luke, which you fucking do, you dickwipe, I better not see your ass in the hallways!

Or what? I could totally kick your butt!

Or I'm gonna shove your fucked-up gap-faced head in the toilet, take a piss on it, and flush the whole goddamn thing.

Yeah, as if you'd get that close, ya butt! You'd probably come up against me and start crying about your gross head still being missing!

I'd probably come up against you and leave it there to get all crusty on your stupid fucking hat.

[ jan you are not one to talk about stupid hats ]

Oh, cool, good to know that your only plan of attack is crying like a baby.

And dude? I skinned an evil polar bear for this hat. What'd you do for yours?

Shit, I can't even threaten to wipe my dick on you cuz you're not fucking old enough to get it. Come back when you popped a boner for the first time, kid!

Yo, if you're too scared to fight, you only gotta say. I get it.

Do you even fucking hear these words coming outta my mouth? Or is that goddamn hat not pulling its weight, huh?

Dude, you keep talking about your dick and it's gross, so I'm kinda trying to ignore that part.

Hell no, no one on this whole goddamn moon gets to ignore my dick!

Dude?

I'm fourteen.

Edited (it was creepier with the other icon) 2013-11-19 06:38 (UTC)

Yeah, so? We doing the age show off game? I got your ass beat on that one.

So that's, like, weird. Don't keep talking about your dick to somebody half your age.

What the fuck, man up and don't make this shit weird. I was doing dick jokes when I was 8.

Yeah, but you're missing an arm and you carry around a head, so.

Are you saying you don't wanna aspire to this?! Your fucking loss, my gig is sweet.

Dude, I've been a hero for years and I've never lost a body part. I'm already one up on you. You're like the lamest of the lame.

Dude, that's not something to brag about. Any hero worth his balls lost some kinda body part on the way! And they all got a sick story about it, too.

Yeah, but I'm not looking to do it anytime soon.

So did you get somebody to fix your arm and find your head yet or what?

(no subject)

liprings - 2013-11-19 06:54 (UTC) - Expand

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liprings - 2013-11-21 17:14 (UTC) - Expand

the_human - 2013-11-23 03:01 (UTC) - Expand