1 [Video]

[hotdate]

[The video feed clicks on to show Heath in his quarters smiling widely at his audience]

Heeeey Exsilumites. Just trying that word out there, I think it works for us. It makes us sound way cooler than 'Transports', don't you think? Transports make us sound like we're, like, smuggled goods or something. Stuffed in some guys suitcase trying to sneak through customs.

[Wait, he had a point to this ramble, didn't he? He clears his throat]

ANYway, I noticed some of you guys have been getting all antsy about the werewolves, so I thought I'd give you some Monster High approved ways of keeping your werewolves happy. Just follow this advice and you shouldn't have to worry about being mauled unless you...you know antagonise them, and if you do that you're pretty much asking to be chewed on.

[He'll hold up a variety of toys to the camera. Squeaky chickens, tennis balls, even a Frisbee]

Now what all werewolves love is to play fetch. They'll chase pretty much anything. If you throw one of these things in the opposite direction you want to go, you can make sure the thing they're chasing isn't you. If you can't get any toys, sticks work too. ...Though I guess you can't get any sticks on the moon, unless there are like moon trees.

Are there moon trees?

[Back to the subject at hand, moon trees aren't important right now]

They also love steaks, so if you guys are heading out collecting stuff to bring back here, you should probably bring steaks. Not stakes. Because that's for a completely different monster and no one wants to encourage that kind of prejudice anyway.

So there you go! Remember that werewolves are just big adorable puppies in their fuzzy hearts and don't annoy them while they're suffering on the moon and everything will be A-OK. This has been a PSA by the Heathster. You've been a great audience!

Comments

[hotdate]

All kinds, just like there's all kinds of monsters. My best friend, Deuce? He's a gorgon. If people look directly into his eyes, they get turned to stone for couple of hours.

[He makes a considerate sound]

My cousin, he's half fire elemental, so he has a little. There's a dragon called Jinafire. She breathes fire. That's about it. There's not a whole lot of us. [Which is probably for the best]

[small_berserker]

Oh, wow! Do people recover okay after they're turned to stone? Like, they go back to normal after those couple of hours?

[Because that's kind of a scary power, even though just about anything can be scary if it's out of control.]

[hotdate]

Yeah, they're fine. It's happened to me a lot of times. You just feel kinda queasy, but it wears off.

[small_berserker]

Oh, that's not so bad. I guess you'd just have to hope that you didn't get turned to stone in a really awkward position like if you were leaning over to pick up something you dropped...

[She thinks about it for a moment.]

Wouldn't your body feel stiff from being stuck in the same position for two hours?

[hotdate]

That's happened to me before. It helps to have almost zero dignity.

[A considerate pause]

A little, I guess. But only the same way you get if your foot falls asleep, y'know?

[small_berserker]

Oh, that's not so bad...except for being frozen in an awkward position. I'm sorry that happened to you. It sounds embarrassing.

[hotdate]

Eh, it's cool. He usually does it by accident or for my own good anyway.

[small_berserker]

Oh, I see.

[Then she realizes she hasn't introduced herself yet. Oops.]

My name is Lily, by the way. It's nice to meet you.

[hotdate]

[He'll flash her a wide smile]

Smokin' to meet you, Lily. I'm Heath.

[small_berserker]

So, when did you want to see the simulation room, Heath? You should definitely try bouncing around in zero gravity there!

[hotdate]

For a smile like yours? I'm free absolutely any time. But wow, that zero gravity thing sounds like a riot.

[small_berserker]

It was a lot of fun! I tried it with Mr. Goodman - he's a superhero.

[Even though she didn't know what a superhero was until she talked to him...]

[hotdate]

Wow, a superhero? Like wearing his underwear over his pants and everything?

[small_berserker]

He was just dressed in regular clothes, but he said he also calls himself Sky High and that he was like a superhero I might have seen on cartoons...but I've never seen cartoons.

[hotdate]

Sky High? Well, it's corny enough to be a real superhero name.

...What, you've never seen any cartoons?

[small_berserker]

No, never. I didn't have radio or movies, either.

[Awkward pause.]

I...kind of grew up in an underground training facility.

[hotdate]

So you like...never got to see the world at all?

[small_berserker]

Not until I got here, no. A lot of people want to go back home...but I'd rather bring my friends that I trained with here instead.

[Moon base or the run down city, either is better than that facility. There's more to do and more freedom as to when she does things.]

[hotdate]

Wow, that must have been really hard. I guess this place isn't all that bad.

[small_berserker]

It was. The good thing is that I can use all that training to protect all of the friends I've met here. Especially the ones with no powers or training. So I'm thankful for that.

[hotdate]

...So people need protecting a lot here?

[Heath THE ISLAND WAS BLOWN UP]

[small_berserker]

...well, we did have to move to the moon base because of the United Earth...and they're not only trying to take over the whole world here but also everyone else's. So I'd say people need some protecting.

[hotdate]

Oh...

Right. [Pause] Well, that's a noble thing to do, I guess. Protecting people.