1 [Video]

[hotdate]

[The video feed clicks on to show Heath in his quarters smiling widely at his audience]

Heeeey Exsilumites. Just trying that word out there, I think it works for us. It makes us sound way cooler than 'Transports', don't you think? Transports make us sound like we're, like, smuggled goods or something. Stuffed in some guys suitcase trying to sneak through customs.

[Wait, he had a point to this ramble, didn't he? He clears his throat]

ANYway, I noticed some of you guys have been getting all antsy about the werewolves, so I thought I'd give you some Monster High approved ways of keeping your werewolves happy. Just follow this advice and you shouldn't have to worry about being mauled unless you...you know antagonise them, and if you do that you're pretty much asking to be chewed on.

[He'll hold up a variety of toys to the camera. Squeaky chickens, tennis balls, even a Frisbee]

Now what all werewolves love is to play fetch. They'll chase pretty much anything. If you throw one of these things in the opposite direction you want to go, you can make sure the thing they're chasing isn't you. If you can't get any toys, sticks work too. ...Though I guess you can't get any sticks on the moon, unless there are like moon trees.

Are there moon trees?

[Back to the subject at hand, moon trees aren't important right now]

They also love steaks, so if you guys are heading out collecting stuff to bring back here, you should probably bring steaks. Not stakes. Because that's for a completely different monster and no one wants to encourage that kind of prejudice anyway.

So there you go! Remember that werewolves are just big adorable puppies in their fuzzy hearts and don't annoy them while they're suffering on the moon and everything will be A-OK. This has been a PSA by the Heathster. You've been a great audience!

Comments

[pabulously]

Cut it up into small enough pieces and you can't even tell!

[hotdate]

I don't know, man. That sounds super sketchy.

[pabulously]

All right, so it's not haute cuisine but if you're starving on the streets? It's pretty tasty.

[hotdate]

Ohhhhh. Well if you're starving, that's a whole different ballgame.

[pabulously]

You know what it's like too?!

[hotdate]

Huh? Oh, no. I've never gone hungry. But hey, it happens to people, it's understandable.

[pabulously]

Oh. Yeah. [Damn, he thought he had found a street kid buddy. Sigh. Oh well.]

[hotdate]

[And lo, Heath is forever a massive disappointment]

Have...you ever gone hungry man? [Because what's not asking invasive questions?]

[pabulously]

Ahahaha, yeah. Kinda hard to avoid when you grow up on the street.

[hotdate]

Oh wow, really? Sorry man, that must have been tough.

[pabulously]

Eh, it wasn't that bad. I had my brother with me.

[hotdate]

Well, that's cool. Family's important, y'know? They help you through the tough stuff.

[pabulously]

Yeah. [Man he misses Mako.]

Do you have family here?

[hotdate]

Nah, only a really good friend from home. It's just the two of us right now.

[He's sure Jackson would get a real kick from all this space stuff. Holt? Maybe not as much]

[pabulously]

Just two? That sounds pretty lonely.

You know, you and your friend should come over sometime! We can go play fetch with the werewolves!

[hotdate]

Not really. She's worth a billion monsters.

That'd be awesome, man! I know she's missed hanging out with their kind, too. It'll be a blast.

[hotdate]

Nah, only a really good friend from home. It's just the two of us right now.

[He's sure Jackson would get a real kick from all this space stuff. Holt? Maybe not as much]