exsilium | 1 [Video]

[The video feed clicks on to show Heath in his quarters smiling widely at his audience]

Heeeey Exsilumites. Just trying that word out there, I think it works for us. It makes us sound way cooler than 'Transports', don't you think? Transports make us sound like we're, like, smuggled goods or something. Stuffed in some guys suitcase trying to sneak through customs.

[Wait, he had a point to this ramble, didn't he? He clears his throat]

ANYway, I noticed some of you guys have been getting all antsy about the werewolves, so I thought I'd give you some Monster High approved ways of keeping your werewolves happy. Just follow this advice and you shouldn't have to worry about being mauled unless you...you know antagonise them, and if you do that you're pretty much asking to be chewed on.

[He'll hold up a variety of toys to the camera. Squeaky chickens, tennis balls, even a Frisbee]

Now what all werewolves love is to play fetch. They'll chase pretty much anything. If you throw one of these things in the opposite direction you want to go, you can make sure the thing they're chasing isn't you. If you can't get any toys, sticks work too. ...Though I guess you can't get any sticks on the moon, unless there are like moon trees.

Are there moon trees?

[Back to the subject at hand, moon trees aren't important right now]

They also love steaks, so if you guys are heading out collecting stuff to bring back here, you should probably bring steaks. Not stakes. Because that's for a completely different monster and no one wants to encourage that kind of prejudice anyway.

So there you go! Remember that werewolves are just big adorable puppies in their fuzzy hearts and don't annoy them while they're suffering on the moon and everything will be A-OK. This has been a PSA by the Heathster. You've been a great audience!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Tell me about it. It's why we live separate from them. It's just safer.

I can understand that, but a lot of people here are actually familiar with this sort of thing, or are different themselves in some way. I won't say everyone is perfect, but I doubt that will happen here.

That'll be a nice change. It'll be interesting, hanging out with normies.

Normies? What?

You know, normies. Humans.

Edited 2013-10-10 23:00 (UTC)

So, why not just call them humans, then? Is a name like that really necessary?

It's what we've always called them. It's like a nickname. Considering they call us 'freaks' we're being pretty nice.

[Wow, that's so mean. :c]

That's really horrible. Just because you might be a little different doesn't make that okay.

That's the way it's been for centuries. Things started to get better, but they're a long way off anything equal. It sucks.

I'm really sorry to hear that. [Prejudice is kind of a big deal for her, why can't everyone just get along? Weh. :c] Is this is on Earth?

At least we monsters have each other. [Because the universe sucks] Yeah, we live separate all over the world, but I'm from Massachusetts.

That is a very good point. It must be difficult enough without being further divided amongst yourselves. I know there are different versions of it, but this is first I've heard of you guys being on Earth. It's really interesting. What's Monster High like? What kinds of people go there?

A lot of monsters live separate anyway. We've only just started to come together in the last few years. Monster High's a big part of that. It's the first school that lets all monsters enroll. All the other schools just let one type of monster through its doors.

So Monster High is pretty awesome for that. I've got friends I never would have had otherwise.

Wow, so you have vampires and werewolves, and what else? That's really amazing! Doesn't it get difficult having to meet the needs of so many different people, though? I mean some things are just really opposite one another for instances, sometimes.

Zombies, gorgons, mummies, dragons, gragoyles. You name it, we got it.

Yeah, but our Headmistress is really good at making sure every monster has what they need. The school's open twenty-four-seven, so if a monster can't go to school during the day, they can at night.

Gorgons, too? Um, wouldn't that be particularly tricky?

[What with the petrification and all STILL THIS SOUNDS P COOL.]

That sounds like a lot of work, she must be really dedicated. I'm Flora, by the way. [Yeah, he can see her name for himself, etc etc, but manners]

Nah. Deuce is my best friend. He's got these sunglasses to stop him from stonewalling people. But it usually wears off after a couple of hours. Trust me, I've had it happen to me a lot.

[Mostly when Deuce feels the need to save Heath from himself]

She's great. Couldn't ask for a better monster to run the school. [He'll throw her a grin] It's a real pleasure. The name's Burns. Heath Burns.

Being turned to stone even for a couple of hours, though, that can't be fun.

[She can't help but be amused at his name, not that she's throwing stones or anything, because ahahahah, she really couldn't.]

Heath Burns? You sound like a hot kind of guy.

[Flora no.]

It's not exactly fun, but you get used to it after a while, I guess.

[On Flora, you fool. He grins, and wmooof off goes his hair]

I'm hotter than you'd guess, Sweetheart.

Wow! [She looks delightfully surprised.]

I'll say. Are you some kind of fire creature?

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oh my god i thought i replied to this screams

/pets gently

;~;

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/CREEPS BACK IN HERE

I SEE U CREEPIN

NO NO U DON'T