[VIDEO]

[bitcher]

[a mild, plain-looking face shows up on the screen, blue eyes tired but vaguely surprised as they look down at the screen.]

Well, would you look at that. Doesn't that just beats the shit out the old Macintosh. Not to mention chat rooms. And telephones, for that matter. At least, if I'm actually talking to people? [a quick, toothy smile and a fake little wave] Heya. Tobias Beecher, nice to meet you.

[he looks ready to lose it then, like a sudden bout of laughter's just going to erupt. It passes, and he says mildly:] So, Exsilium, huh? Doesn't exactly have the same fun fairytale ring to it as "Oz" or "Emerald City", but I guess you guys make up for it with all that "alternate universe" and "sentient weapons" crap. Mine hasn't started talking to me yet, but hey, maybe it's only a matter of time! [Beecher wiggles what looks like a bed-spring at the camera, although one end of it has been unwound and sharpened to a point.

He plays with it a bit as he continues, sounding awfully cheery, and awfully fake] So if I've got all this straight, I've been taken somewhere I can't leave, and I don't really have a choice about it, and I've been provided with a bed and the basic creature comforts and we're all expected to get along together all nice and civilized like. Now, gee, what sort of place does that remind me of...?

[Beecher tilts his head, his voice a sort of sing-song:]

Mary had a pretty bird,
Feathers bright and yellow,
Slender legs, upon my word!
He was a pretty fellow.

The sweetest notes he always sang,
Which much delighted Mary;
And near the cage she'd ever sit
To hear her own canary.

[there's a pause where Beecher gives a breathy chuckle, pleased with himself. Then,] ...You know, I'm... well, I was, supposed to be up for parole soon. So - what passes for a parole board in this shiny new shithole? [Beecher's lips twitch into a grin, blue eyes lit, and he titters into his hand. It's unstable, odd, a freak gurgle. It loses momentum. Beecher's expression cools, becomes pensive, and he ends the feed.]

Comments

video

[irritating]

Wow, nice brand o' crazy you got goin' on over there. [ She sounds more amused than concerned, really. ] And I dunno, the Initiative don't seem too concerned over criminal records far as I can tell.

video

[bitcher]

Well, when in Rome... or a fucking moon base. [sourly.]

So what, they just incarcerate everyone, guilty or not? I mean that's what this really is, isn't it?

video

[irritating]

What, a prison? Guess it kinda feels that way, but this bunch is pretty much lettin' us do whatever the fuck we want so I dunno if that's what they're tryin' to do here.

video

[bitcher]

And how long have you been here?

voice;

[getoffmyearth]

[Oh good god, what he wouldn't give for the Nova Corps or some kind of police force right now.]

You really could not be more unsubtle if you tried, huh.

voice;

[bitcher]

Why? Does it matter? Am I going to be taken to another, smaller cage in space?

[space. that's right, that's where they are. Outer fucking space. Just thinking it makes him want to laugh again.


But not because it's funny.]

voice;

[getoffmyearth]

Space goes in for life-sentence prison planets where they infect your body with nanites to be able to easily knock you on your ass or take you out to keep you in line, and you survive maybe two more years if you're lucky. Or some empires would just execute you.

voice;

[bitcher]

Sounds like a dream. [smiling like he's been left on auto-pilot, rubbing one of his eyes with his palm] Buuuuuut, also a lot of trouble to go to if their whole intention was to snag me from one prison only to put me in another.

[he spreads his hands] I mean, I'd have to be really dangerous for them to go to that sort of length, offfficer.

voice;

[alittlesweptup]

What'd you do time for?

[Subtle? Shit no. But look at how much he cares.]

voice;

[bitcher]

Singing the wrong part in the choir.

[he shakes his head morosely]

I should have known I'm not an alto.

[alittlesweptup]

How nice. People are going to love you up here, mate.

[aka Charlie can't wait until that bird running the police force sees this]

[bitcher]

I'm always looking for new friends.

Speaking of which, who am I speaking with?

[video]

[legal_eagle]

[holy
shit
are you going to slit our throats in our sleep]

Nice to meet you. Sofiya Karimov. What do you prefer to go by? Tobias? Beecher?

[video]

[bitcher]

[...prrrrrobably not. But, you know.

He does what he has to.

And he seems to soften, just slightly, at the sight of a woman - a little less of a crinkle around his eyes. But there's wariness in them all the same.]

I guess it depends on how much of a prison this really is.

[a beat.]

...Tobias is fine.

[video]

[legal_eagle]

[All right, the slight reduction of crazyface is much appreciated. Her what-the-fuck smile fades into a much milder what-the-heck smile.]

Well, I'm a lawyer myself.

[She deliberately elides the precise sort of lawyer, and there's a light of close observation in her eyes - watching to see whether he's a lawyer-fucked-me sort of criminal (likely) or a can-you-help-me sort of criminal (comparatively uncommon).]

So if it turns out that they put me into prison without me knowing about it, there'll be words. And I can summon up some pretty strong ones when the occasion calls for it.

[video]

[bitcher]

[she may be pleasantly surprised to learn that the answer is "neither."

There's certainly some pleasant surprise on Toby's face.]

Are you? I'm actually - well, I was actually a lawyer myself. Litigation. What was your focus?

video

[liprings]

Haha! You got your ass canned! [ this seems somehow hilarious to him. ] What'd you do, huh? Twerp like you, I'd guess you tried to hit some 7-11 and was too fucking stupid to run for it when the cops showed. Am I right?

video

[bitcher]

[there's a twinge in his jaw at the "twerp" comment - too close to bitch, to prag, to everything he's not and won't ever be again - but then he just sort of stares, looking curious]

Can you even imagine if you got real close to a magnet? One of those strong ones they use to pick up cars. I bet your whole face would just rip right off. God that'd be gross.

...Sorry, did you say something worth listening to?

[liprings]

Shit, been there and done fucking that. You should see me at airports. Can't walk a fucking step without TSA on my ass! I mean, yeah, probably has more to do with the P-90s on my shoudlers than the piercings, but still.

[ and he just laughs, funniest thing on two legs, right here.

apparently he hadn't said anything worth listening to. ]

video;

[lucency]

[ a somewhat confused pause before belle speaks. mostly because of the song. such a sarcastic one after the mention of fairy tales. it's a little jarring, okay. ]

Um. You could always think of it as a fresh start?

video;

[bitcher]

Ripped even further away from my children and those I love. Yeah. That's fresh. ...Funny that it took me coming all the way out into space for that to be possible.

video;

[lucency]

That isn't what I meant.

It's inconvenient for everyone, to say the least, but you will see them again. And, lucky for you, you don't get to bypass the parole board, if the rumors are true.

[nosebleeds]

You sure sound like you're all right in the head.

[bitcher]

Peachy keen, that's me.

[nosebleeds]

You'll fit right in with the crazies partying up here.