[VIDEO]

[bitcher]

[a mild, plain-looking face shows up on the screen, blue eyes tired but vaguely surprised as they look down at the screen.]

Well, would you look at that. Doesn't that just beats the shit out the old Macintosh. Not to mention chat rooms. And telephones, for that matter. At least, if I'm actually talking to people? [a quick, toothy smile and a fake little wave] Heya. Tobias Beecher, nice to meet you.

[he looks ready to lose it then, like a sudden bout of laughter's just going to erupt. It passes, and he says mildly:] So, Exsilium, huh? Doesn't exactly have the same fun fairytale ring to it as "Oz" or "Emerald City", but I guess you guys make up for it with all that "alternate universe" and "sentient weapons" crap. Mine hasn't started talking to me yet, but hey, maybe it's only a matter of time! [Beecher wiggles what looks like a bed-spring at the camera, although one end of it has been unwound and sharpened to a point.

He plays with it a bit as he continues, sounding awfully cheery, and awfully fake] So if I've got all this straight, I've been taken somewhere I can't leave, and I don't really have a choice about it, and I've been provided with a bed and the basic creature comforts and we're all expected to get along together all nice and civilized like. Now, gee, what sort of place does that remind me of...?

[Beecher tilts his head, his voice a sort of sing-song:]

Mary had a pretty bird,
Feathers bright and yellow,
Slender legs, upon my word!
He was a pretty fellow.

The sweetest notes he always sang,
Which much delighted Mary;
And near the cage she'd ever sit
To hear her own canary.

[there's a pause where Beecher gives a breathy chuckle, pleased with himself. Then,] ...You know, I'm... well, I was, supposed to be up for parole soon. So - what passes for a parole board in this shiny new shithole? [Beecher's lips twitch into a grin, blue eyes lit, and he titters into his hand. It's unstable, odd, a freak gurgle. It loses momentum. Beecher's expression cools, becomes pensive, and he ends the feed.]

Comments

[video]

[legal_eagle]

[All right, the slight reduction of crazyface is much appreciated. Her what-the-fuck smile fades into a much milder what-the-heck smile.]

Well, I'm a lawyer myself.

[She deliberately elides the precise sort of lawyer, and there's a light of close observation in her eyes - watching to see whether he's a lawyer-fucked-me sort of criminal (likely) or a can-you-help-me sort of criminal (comparatively uncommon).]

So if it turns out that they put me into prison without me knowing about it, there'll be words. And I can summon up some pretty strong ones when the occasion calls for it.

[video]

[bitcher]

[she may be pleasantly surprised to learn that the answer is "neither."

There's certainly some pleasant surprise on Toby's face.]

Are you? I'm actually - well, I was actually a lawyer myself. Litigation. What was your focus?

[video]

[legal_eagle]

[Well, aren't you just full of surprises.

Unpleasant ones.]

I'm a prosecutor. Don't really consider it past tense.

[Her smile, no matter how unpleasant the whole crazy prison guy used to be a lawyer and look how far it's possible to fall thing is, is perfect. Sparkling and cheerful.]

Don't think you'll have much to fear from me, though, will you?

[video]

[bitcher]

[his smile turns just this side of nasty]

I would hope you wouldn't, unless you were disbarred.

[he snorts lightly, derisively, leaning back in a chair.] You only have to fear a prosecutor before sentencing. I'm over it. Not to mention all these other things I have on my mind. [with a sweep of his arm, as if indicating all of space]

[video]

[legal_eagle]

Mm, no question.

[She tilts her head to the side.]

So you must be glad to be making a new start of it.

Re: [video]

[bitcher]

Oh, sure. I mean I was only 3 weeks from my probation hearing, only 3 weeks from possibly being with my children again... But no, I think being kidnapped into a delusional outer space nightmare is better.

[video]

[legal_eagle]

Would you have gotten it?

Re: [video]

[bitcher]

...I might have. I had a good chance this time. More sympathy.

[video]

[legal_eagle]

[Oh? Come, crazy-man. Tell Sonya your secrets.]

Sympathy?

Re: [video]

[bitcher]

[it's not quite that easy, Sonya.]

Family matters.

So. Miss prosecutor. How are you continuing your work here, in this wonderful place? Putting plenty of deserving people in space-jail?

[video]

[legal_eagle]

[Soon...soon she will know...]

Not been any need yet. Everyone's a good little citizen.

[video]

[bitcher]

[snort.] Somehow I find that hard to believe.

[video]

[legal_eagle]

Look back through the records. All there for your perusal.

[video]

[bitcher]

Well. Maybe I just got here before the "boom" then.

...The more figurative one, anyway.

[video]

[legal_eagle]

[She lifts an eyebrow. Coolly:]

Was that supposed to be funny?

[video]

[bitcher]

More "blithe" than funny, I think.

[video]

[legal_eagle]

Blithe. Over the destruction of homes and lives.

[video]

[bitcher]

[he shrugs, but glances away]

I'm still having trouble believing any of this is real. For all I know you could be the attractive manifestation of some experimental sedatives.

[video]

[legal_eagle]

[She lifts her eyebrows and says, coyly:]

Attractive. That's so sweet of you.

But, okay, here's my question for you: so what?

[video]

[bitcher]

..."So what"?

[video]

[legal_eagle]

Mm-hm. What does it matter whether it's real or not?

[video]

[bitcher]

Honestly... I guess you're right. It doesn't. I'm fucked up the ass either way.

[video]

[legal_eagle]

Not really what I was looking for you to take from that.

[video]

[bitcher]

Try stringing me along a little harder.

[video]

[legal_eagle]

[She leans back in her seat.]

Look. If this is a hallucination, is it possible for you to fuck it up?