[VIDEO]

[bitcher]

[a mild, plain-looking face shows up on the screen, blue eyes tired but vaguely surprised as they look down at the screen.]

Well, would you look at that. Doesn't that just beats the shit out the old Macintosh. Not to mention chat rooms. And telephones, for that matter. At least, if I'm actually talking to people? [a quick, toothy smile and a fake little wave] Heya. Tobias Beecher, nice to meet you.

[he looks ready to lose it then, like a sudden bout of laughter's just going to erupt. It passes, and he says mildly:] So, Exsilium, huh? Doesn't exactly have the same fun fairytale ring to it as "Oz" or "Emerald City", but I guess you guys make up for it with all that "alternate universe" and "sentient weapons" crap. Mine hasn't started talking to me yet, but hey, maybe it's only a matter of time! [Beecher wiggles what looks like a bed-spring at the camera, although one end of it has been unwound and sharpened to a point.

He plays with it a bit as he continues, sounding awfully cheery, and awfully fake] So if I've got all this straight, I've been taken somewhere I can't leave, and I don't really have a choice about it, and I've been provided with a bed and the basic creature comforts and we're all expected to get along together all nice and civilized like. Now, gee, what sort of place does that remind me of...?

[Beecher tilts his head, his voice a sort of sing-song:]

Mary had a pretty bird,
Feathers bright and yellow,
Slender legs, upon my word!
He was a pretty fellow.

The sweetest notes he always sang,
Which much delighted Mary;
And near the cage she'd ever sit
To hear her own canary.

[there's a pause where Beecher gives a breathy chuckle, pleased with himself. Then,] ...You know, I'm... well, I was, supposed to be up for parole soon. So - what passes for a parole board in this shiny new shithole? [Beecher's lips twitch into a grin, blue eyes lit, and he titters into his hand. It's unstable, odd, a freak gurgle. It loses momentum. Beecher's expression cools, becomes pensive, and he ends the feed.]

Comments

[bitcher]

[asdkjgl]

Oh like I'm supposed to know how to refer to vampires!

[liprings]

How about the same way you'd refer to anyone else! Christ. Hurtin' my fuckin' feelings up in here, bro. I think I'm gonna need an apology card.

[bitcher]

Somehow I think you'll manage without one.

[liprings]

I'm gonna cry for, like, weeks. And not just in some corner all lonely and shit, I'm gonna call your ass and sob into the phone. Fucking loudly, too.

I love your Jan

[bitcher]

I've dealt with worse.

well GOOD because i'm enjoying this thread enough that it will be hard to get rid of him

[liprings]

Hey, you know some of those bitches, the ones that do the really loud sobs? Like, some dude breaks it off with their ass and they sound like they're being murdered, all wailing and ugly crying?

Weeks, bro.

eeeeexcellent

[bitcher]

[Beecher doesn't even know how to handle you, Jan. At all.]

...If there's a point to this, I'm missing it.

[liprings]

The point is I'm waiting for my fucking card, Bitcher!

[bitcher]

Do not call me that.

[liprings]

Call you what? Late for dinner? Keep your fuckin' panties on, I didn't!

[bitcher]

[he breathes out slowly, collects himself]

Don't be a prick.

[liprings]

No can do, Bitcher! It's a medical condition. Real good sob story.

[bitcher]

[oh would you look at that, Beecher's discovered how to end a conversation.

/DISCONNECTS]