02 | Video

[maddeninghatter]

[ Baaa Baa-aa-aaaaaa Baaaaaaaaaaa! ]

I say, hello, hel-looooo! I have a question for you all--

[ The grime-smeared face of Xerxes Break appears onscreen. His white hair is discolored with dust and stuck together. There's a semicircular wound under his right cheekbone, and the shoulder of his jacket looks chewed. Despite all of this, he seems terribly pleased with himself. ]

Does anyone here have qualifications in animal husbandry?

[ More angry bleating and a yelp! Break turns. Visible in the background is another (also dirty and disheveled) man, desperately fending off a sheep. It’s not going at all according to plan; with a single headbutt he’s out of the camera’s line of sight, followed by a thud and worrisome tinkling noises. ]

Why, Gilbert. I think she likes you! ♥

[ Moving right along... ]

Anyway - yes. I'm looking specifically for people with experience or interest in shepherding, as well as shearing, spinning, knitting, cheese-making--

[ Another CRASH! and a voice yelling, “Break, look out!" ]

--and hand-to-hand combat! Kindly respond to this post, or apply in person to the botanical gar--

[ Break’s face suddenly disappears. The last image visible onscreen is… this. ]

Comments

[Audio]

[strategic_guile]

I've had goat's milk, but not sheep. Is your vicious sheep even safe to eat?

[Audio]

[maddeninghatter]

One way to find out~♥

Anyway, one typically makes cheese from sheep's milk. Nice, sweet cheese, good in pastries.

permaaudio;

[strategic_guile]

At least if you die a horrible, internal hemorrhaging death you'll be brought back.

I'll wait to see if the cheese kills you before I try it.

[maddeninghatter]

My goodness, aren't you a ray of happy sunshine!

[strategic_guile]

I am very happy and full of sunshine. Also rainbows.

Just go get the sheep tested before you try to eat something from it.

[maddeninghatter]

[ This is typically when Emily would say something rude, and his voice pitches up--

But then he remembers and catches his breath. A little pause and then, resentfully: ]

Why, I'm touched by your concern.

[strategic_guile]

[Unaffected by the obvious irritation and resentfulness he goes on.]

Do you plan on making a business out of the food you make from the sheep?

[The hopefully tested and not deadly sheep.]

[maddeninghatter]

[ He hasn't quite thought that far ahead. Wool, ricotta cheese, and clotted cream are what's occupying his mind just now.

As well as, you know. Staying alive. ]

Ah, yes. Yes, I suppose so. Why not?

[strategic_guile]

You were just thinking with your stomach, weren't you? [On the verge of laughing.]

Not a bad thing to think with, since the variety of food is pretty low.

[maddeninghatter]

[ He'd also had other reasons... but let's not go into those. ]

Are you a businessman?

[strategic_guile]

I am, though food isn't my specialty.

[maddeninghatter]

I imagine the principles are similar, no matter what you're selling.

[strategic_guile]

[Laughs] Is this the beginning of a recruitment offer?

[maddeninghatter]

Goodness knows, I don't want to be bothered with anything so tedious!

[strategic_guile]

[He thinks about it.] Find out if they can actually be eaten and then we'll talk about you pawning it off on me.

[maddeninghatter]

Yes, I suppose that's all right. We'll see.